Monday, November 19, 2018

Children Determine Too Much.

November 25, 2017 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.comIt can be argued that parenting has become very pro the wants of the child, verse the needs of a child. It is not the job of a parent to cater to every want and feeling of their child. However, it is necessary for a parent to provide necessities. Children must be reared, and trained. They don’t come into the world knowing exactly what needs to be done, and if we leave training to the children society will raise them. Parents must get back into the driver seat of raising their kids.

Children don’t create their own standard, boundaries, and expectations. They don’t simply choose to be respectful, and studious. Structure must be taught. Maybe it’s time parents stop asking children, before a certain age, what do you want. Encouraging a child to think for ones self, and fostering their independence is not the same as allowing them to make decisions for themselves for its time.

Children need parents because they do not know what’s best for them. They need someone to make sure they bathe, and do so properly, eat healthy, and learn to follow directions. Too much is being left to the discretion of a child, and that is not the way any of this works. When order is not constituted in the home, a disorderly child will be the product. Children need to know their parents love them. Validation, and encouragement begins at home. With that being said, they also need to be trained from very young that there is an acceptable standard of behavior.

Parents should have a method by which order is understood, and enforced. It is unhealthy for a kid to get everything they want every time they ask for it. In doing such you are training them that the answer to every request is yes, and that isn’t the way the world functions. If a child disrespects their parents, and its allowed, they will disrespect others in authority. If they only respect their parents…but no one else this is also a problem.

The hardest thing about establishing order with children…is the parent has to first order themselves. Children should not decide what time they go to bed, if they want to clean their room, what they will eat, or if they will do their homework. Life has rules, if one wants to be successful and stay out of jail, and the first time a child should encounter rules is at home. This will require parents to put down the phone, and social media, and tend to their children. Talk to them, get to know them, enquire as to how their day went. When you engage with your children when they are young, they will continue the conversation as they get older.

Parenting is not an easy task. My 4yr old son recently asked me: “Momma are you my friend”? With a smile, I informed him that I was not his friend…I am Mom. His father and I would have to raise to be the kind of person we would call friend. When you are the parent you must do all you can to prepare your child to become their best person. This means when they are young you must sit in the seat of decision to make the choices that are best for their growth. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it when you have raised a productive individual.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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