(ThyBlackMan.com) Looking your best allows you to feel your best. This is a given in most situations, however it may need to be revisited in the context of relationships. Both men and women tend to put there best foot forward when they are trying to get the attention of that special someone. In many instances looking good, and smelling tantalizing is still the norm while dating. However, sometimes once married and settled in we tend to encounter different changes to life that cause intimacy to become scarce in the marriage.
Working to the point of exhaustion, and having children can cause the intimacy to seem missing until you learn how to manage the new additions to your life. However, both husbands and wives must remember that intimacy can be put on hold when you lose site of your personal affects.
Let’s not listen to Dove deodorant commercials. Just because they claim to last 48hrs doesn’t mean it should. It happens you have those days whereby you are finally off, and the kids are at school so you lounge around the house without hitting the shower. Yet, when you know your spouse will be home soon please go freshen up. The truth may be that you smell like yesterday, or heaven forbid, you smell like 48hours.
This is a very sensitive subject that can easily cause offense. No one wants to say the reason I had a headache last night, or that I was up late gaming is because I know you wanted to have sex, but you smelled terrible. Letting one’s self go can cause problems in the marriage because in that moment we lost sight of self. You don’t shower, and keep up with yourself for your spouse…you so that for you.
When you get ready to go out you want to look your best. Whether its ladies night, or heading to the game with your homeboys you will make sure you are presentable. Please understand your spouse will notice that you look great, and smell good, going out. However, they are left to deal with the unkept version of you. What could be worse is trying to explain why this is acceptable. Your spouse will want to receive the best of you, and offer the same. Something like this might seem small, but it can be the beginning of a spouse thinking along the lines of ‘who are you getting snazzy for’. This confusion can be avoided by taking heed to self.
No one wants to be hugged up in the bed with a spouse that is offensive. Don’t put your spouse in the position of trying to address the hygiene of an adult. That is unfair, and uncomfortable. Marriage shouldn’t have to be a sexually frustrating state, and there are many obstacles that can arise that causes such tension. Something as simple as taking a shower, using deodorant, and coming to bed fresh shouldn’t have to be one of the mitigating issues. There is truth to the idea that what we did to get our spouse, it necessary to keep them.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr