(ThyBlackMan.com) Who would have thought we’d live to see such a polarizing and pejorative figure as the current occupant of the White House as Donald J. Trump? While history tends to ceremonially rate modern presidents as endemic to the national cause, the judgment on America’s forty-fifth President appears to have been swift and quite deliberate. He’s divisive. He’s confrontational. He’s unapologetic.
Typically, we wait until the dust settles on the legacy one offers for leadership. In the case of Donald Trump, however, as men, we can see parallels to the way we relate to those close to us and extract immediate lessons on how to become not only better men but better fathers, too.
Why Donald Trump? One, he’s in the daily spotlight (a lesson in and of itself). Two, it is not often that a person with such glaring insecurities can raise the level of national discourse across party and ideological fault lines purely along the level of the aforementioned insecurities.
Most of all, as men, we are not exempt from the same flaws and frailties we witness daily and this trait alone motivates us on how we may become better in our most important role: as a father.
Use a Setback as a Setup for a Comeback
Depending on where you are on the economic totem-pole, fatherhood can be financially risky. Keeping a job to pay child support is demanding and is often full of setbacks for the average father. Add to this the uncooperative nature of co-parenting relationships, and it seems even tougher. We face tough challenges as fathers. Setbacks come often.
What Trump Does:
Donald Trump sees setback as a personal affront, especially when he feels someone’s disrespecting him.
Don’t take setback personally. Take a lemon and make lemonade. Understand that setbacks happen in every phase of life. Defeat is only a state of mind. Don’t pay any attention to who’s disrespecting you. Your relationship with your children is of the utmost importance. Focus on that. Look at a setback as an opportunity to move forward. Search for the ‘holes’ like a running back looking to make it to the end-zone. There’s always an opening that will lead to your success!
Don’t Be Afraid of Self-Criticism
The most rapidly disappearing phrase in American society is, “My bad” or “I’m sorry”. When our leaders are loathe to utter these words, it begins a trickle-down effect. We make mistakes as dads; we miscalculate our children’s efforts; we sometimes are too hard when we could be a little more compassionate. It may just as simple as saying to our child, “Do better”.
What Trump Does:
Donald Trump recently commented on the lingering and failing efforts on the part of the Republican leadership for legislative progress: “I am not going to blame myself!”
Own your mistakes. Use them as stepping-stones for change and progress. One of the best things a child can hear from his dad is: I made a mistake. It will show the youngster his dad is not afraid of owning up. Begin to see your lessons as a source of blessings. Extract a positive from a negative.
Be a Problem-Solver
Unfortunately, instead of solving problems, our political leadership is more intent on scapegoating problems. It’s sad that the hallmark of American leadership is to pass the buck and absolve one’s self from real solutions. Solving problems, though, is what we do as dads.
What Trump Does:
Donald Trump encapsules a problem up with ‘dressy’ language but does not offer solutions for solving it.
Don’t call it a ‘problem’, call it a ‘challenge’. Commit to a program of actually solving your toughest challenge as a father. Be committed to solving as opposed to dressing it up. Identify an area in your life that you feel you could use the most improving. Undertake a capital improvement project.
Our most important job is to become better men and better fathers.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.