Marriage Isn’t About Perfection. : ThyBlackMan

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Marriage Isn’t About Perfection.

October 1, 2017 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Let’s get a couple of facts out of the way…no one is perfect, and mistakes happen. Too many people expect perfection in a significant other, spouse, that they are incapable of giving. They can’t give the perfection they expect because it’s impossible to achieve. This is necessary to acknowledge because “no one is perfect” becomes the excuse for behavior that is disloyal and inconsiderate.

Too many times the issues within celebrity marriages become the basis for a discussion about marriage, and infidelity. Women, or men, that are on the receiving end of infidelity are judged whether they stay with their spouse, or leave their spouse. If they stay many are going to say the person is a doormat or it’s about money, but if they leave they aren’t fighting for their marriage because no one is perfect.

Every married couple has challenges, and hardships to overcome. Two individuals with individual personalities, and methods of thinking, come together in a marriage to build a life together. Mistakes will happen. There will be disagreements as sure as each person has their own mind. Sometimes the couple has to deal with family involvement from both sides that can cause tension in the marriage. Life circumstances such as job loss, illness, differing goals, methods on raising the kids, family loss, and many other factors can also strain in the marriage. Marriage has its levels and stages, and all couples have to work through them at some point.

All things being acknowledged, marriage does require commitment and dedication. The breaking of trust, which can happen in various forms, is one of the worst challenges to overcome and all are not capable. Cheating is always a choice, regardless of the reasons for doing such, and we must be able to say this is wrong. The biggest problem with the marriage discussion, especially when celebrities are mentioned, is the ability to say an action is wrong. The reason that is a problem is because we feel that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes so we should not judge others harshly. Far too often we mistake passing judgement for stating something is right or wrong. This is a serious problem when one gets to the issue of marriage.

Many of us now know Kevin Hart has cheated on his wife. Some applaud him for publicly acknowledging the infidelity, and informing his wife verses allowing himself to be extorted for money. If extortion was indeed the issue, then he didn’t confess for remorseful reasons. Furthermore, this isn’t Kevin Hart’s first case of cheating on a spouse. Acknowledging that his infidelity is wrong is not a call for him to be perfect. Marriage doesn’t require perfection however it does require loyalty from all parties involved. If we want to see healthy marriages, we must be able to have a serious discuss about accountability and commitment.

This needs to happen without the feeling that one is being judged because they are told they need to do better. I can’t judge Kevin Hart’s situation, and he and his wife will have to do what’s best for them. That can be acknowledged as well as the disloyalty that took place. Those that argue no one is perfect don’t want to find themselves in a situation where they are being cheated upon by their spouse. So, let’s avoid the hypocrisy because Kevin Hart is a celebrity. There needs to be more discussion surrounding how to navigate marriage, and do so keeping loyalty and accountability intact.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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