(ThyBlackMan.com) Every case has an exception. It’s fair to say the exception should not be treated as the rule. This makes perfect sense until we enter the topic of relationships. There are men, and women that carry emotional scars from relationships that have inflicted unspeakable pain. When the pain hits it’s easy to beat up one’s self, and assess the wrong doing of the other party. Too many say “I should have gotten out sooner” or “I should have noticed something was off”. It’s hard not to own the situation once it goes sour. The question is can we admit that in many instances we ignored the obvious, and that comes with a price.
You acknowledge everyone is an adult, and you can’t force a grown person to chance. With that being said, too many people enter relationships ignoring major red flags, and for the sake of loneliness, or appearance, they go forward into a relationship that is a recipe for
destruction from day one. When you are secure in who you are, and what you want it can cause you to steer clear of people that will be toxic to you. It’s unfortunate when red flags are wished away even while walking down the aisle, but after saying I do you expect your new spouse to function in a way they never have. If they didn’t respect you before the wedding day…saying I do will not birth respect.
Sister if you constantly catch him in lies, he doesn’t make time for you, he’s verbally abusive, and your dreams are a non factor why did you move forward? Brother if she only calls you when she needs something, embarrasses you in public, lies constantly, and your well being is a non factor why did you move forward? These are things you will see if you actually get to know the person verses merely an image. Social media maked it easy to say people are cool. Not too many men and women will show who they really are on social media.
No one deserves to hurt, but too many of us shun accountability for decisions we made eyes wide open that cause hurt. When we are asked “what did you expect given their behavior when you were just getting to know them”, we often get defensive and accuse those that call us into account of victim shaming. It is not shame to tell the truth. Acknowledging you tried to change someone thinking you could love them enough to make them value you is the beginning of healing. Being completely honest with self could help you prevent future tragic relationships.
With every bad situation we find ourselves in we allow more of our positive energy, and ability to trust, to be depleted. Unfortunately, some of us have ever been hurt so many times we are unable to accept real love and companionship when it comes along. We go from being the one hurt to the doing the hurting, and the reason we give is we’ve been hurt so many times. Past pain does not justify destroying another.
Be selective about the relationships you choose. You don’t have to be a brick wall, but we wise. When a person is showing you the obvious, and it’s negative, don’t ignore the truth before your eyes. Save yourself, and others, the heartache.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.