Saturday, September 23, 2017


The Goliathan Complex: Three Ways Our Attitudes as Men Manifest as Giants.

August 27, 2017 by  
Filed under Health, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

Like
Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry
1

(ThyBlackMan.com) Several years ago I authored a book called Brotha2Brotha: Becoming Healthy Men from the Inside Out. In this book, I used the biblical epic of David and Goliath to remind us as men of our greatness – challenges notwithstanding. ‘Goliath’ was analogous to any force, internal or external, that deprives us of our humanity and prevents us from reaching our God-given potential. I urged readers to grasp that the ‘David’ in you can slay any giant and claim that brand-new future.

Conversely, though, Goliath can become a tool of oppression evident in our attitude toward others – the ‘giant’ in you can be keeping someone else down! If Goliath represents a bullying force, and if bullying is synonymous with threats, intimidation’s and domination, then we can conclude that Goliath is alive and well. Here are three ways Goliath shows up in our attitudes and manifests as a ‘giant’.

Self-Hate

The Goliathan Complex insidiously whispers to us that we are never enough, that we don’t matter or that we have too many entries on our record; it tells us we are not up to speed as providers and protectors of our families. The Goliathan Complex also tells us we are too fat, to skinny, too old, too ugly – that we will never be accepted for who and what we are. This way of seeing ourselves is buttressed by the relentless parade of images of black men associated with drugs, murder and self-destructive behavior.

The apex of this self-hate is the rising suicide rate among men of color, especially between the ages of 25-36.

What We Must Do:

Love and accept ourselves for who you are and who you are becoming. Nurture your inner and sacred self. Determine to grow and not remain the same. Use your challenges to craft a new day.

Domestic Abuse

The Goliathan Complex is also evidenced in our communities in the form of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse, like suicide, has always been a hush-hush topic in our community. Goliathan attitudes show up in our men who cannot or will not assume responsibility for issues with anger, low self-esteem or psychological problems. Too often we conjure excuses to “explain” the tragic behavior of the male members of our families. In the end, nothing but a broken and bruised family is the result.

What We Must Do:

Understand the enormous pain we are afflicting on our families – especially our children. Seek help. Establish connections from which we can receive guidance – church based men’s groups, community-based counseling, professional services etc. Understand your anger and commit to changing it.

Homophobia

We can also see Goliathan attitudes in matters of sex and its attendant sexism. Homosexuality in the black community remains one of those things we just don’t like to discuss in our community – unless we’re bashing gays. This is despite of the advances gay and lesbian advocates have made in recent years. Homophobic attitudes take the place of dialogue and healing, and in the end our gay brothers and sisters are left feeling ashamed, embarrassed and hurt. Even worse, politicians known that the best way to keep our community divided and dis-empowered is to use divisive wedge issues such as sex. Sexism in our community rears its viciousness in the form of attitudes toward women and work, women and childcare and women and church involvement.

What We Must Do:

Accept people for who they are and what they are. Understand the only thing we can change is our attitude. Be supportive of the changes our women must make in order to care for their families. Recognize their inherent sense of beauty and strength. Understand you don’t have to see things the way your father did.

Just as Goliath can prevent us from claiming our brand-new future, we may be depriving others of their own sense of humanity.

Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes

This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.

In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.




Comments

3 Responses to “The Goliathan Complex: Three Ways Our Attitudes as Men Manifest as Giants.”
  1. Sir, I understand your insatiable need to troll the articles posted to this very fine sight in hopes of propping up your egregious and precarious ego, but frankly I do not wish to patronize you. You write what you believe is truth, I will do likewise.

  2. M Anthony says:

    By the way author, check your stats and you will find that women physically and verbally abuse men a lot closer to the same acts that men commit than you are aware of. Further, women as custodial parents are more likely to abuse their children than men who are custodial parents. You are painting a tainted and slanted picture instead of the facts. Wonder why.

    I am a happily married man who has never abused my wife. My children respect me (not fear me) because I respect them and set a proper example. I address the whole truth, not just a biased part like you are doing

  3. M Anthony says:

    As a marriage, family and relationship counselor for a long time I can say we don’t need articles camouflaged as help but that are really written to put men down. What are your credentials Mr Author? What solutions do you offer? What have you done to build up African American men (the most attacked, unappreciated and devalued people in this country)?

    Your analysis and your article are both condescending.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!