(ThyBlackMan.com) Being a father is an amazing experience. I know there is a tendency in our culture to make a distinction between being a father and a dad. I do not choose to placate such judgmental positions. Call me father, call me dad, whatever term you use does not define for me the sentiment of raising a boy or girl into a man or a woman. For me, ‘fatherhood’ refers to the evolutionary experiences which shape a man and prepares him for the journey.
Regardless of terms, how do we extract the most meaning from what we experience? I pose this question because the years fly by; our little man or little girl are halfway to adulthood virtually overnight. We look up and the years have flown by. Someone much wiser than me once said, Don’t count the years, make the years count. How do we accomplish this? We ask questions. And
What Do I Really Want from Fatherhood?
The first question is a probing one. The answer may sound obvious: most dads want to be the best father they can be. But that response may also be too simplistic. In most cases, it’s a given that you want to be the best father. Go deeper. What personal quality do you want to extract from your experience? Project yourself into the future and imagine your offspring has written a letter to you thanking you for how your commitment to fatherhood made them better. Read that letter in your imagination. What would you want it say? What actions described in the letter would make you proud and bring a smile to your face? Whatever it is, begin to work on that.
What’s Preventing Me from Getting What I Want from Fatherhood?
Now, based on the aforementioned letter, begin to think about how to bring about those qualities. What is it that you must do to attain the greatness that the letter describes? Do not focus on eliminating your weaknesses, but rather turn your energy toward making your strengths stronger. You’re just a step away from becoming the father your offspring’s future letter describes. Sure, you may have some daunting obstacles to overcome; your finances may not be where you need it to be; you may be dealing with a difficult co-parent; or you might be facing effective communication challenges.
The only thing you may really need to adjust is your attitude. In spite of all of the aforementioned challenges, the one thing you can control is your response. Make certain you possess an ‘I can do all things’ approach and use every opportunity to bring it into focus.
What Strategies Can I Implement to Get What I Really Want from Fatherhood?
We all want to be the best father, as I wrote earlier. It usually just requires a little tweaking to achieve this goal. Empathy, listening skills, effective feedback are things we can do to establish a deep bond with our children. The most needful strategy is personal growth and development; do your very best to deepen your spiritual discipline. Reading Holy Scripture, meditation and worship are effective in strategic and long-term personal development. Exercising, making better nutrition choices and eliminating self-destructive habits such as smoking or excessive drinking also help.
In the end, it’s your willingness to make every day count that will leave you with the greatest satisfaction.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.