Everyone Check the Likes of Yourself.
(ThyBlackMan.com) There is plenty of work that needs to be done in black community, and it will have to start with men and women. We can all be on one accord that saving our children is a priority, but until black men and women can unify our children are lost. There is too much propaganda and media involvement in how we view each other. Personal experiences are being applied as though it’s the standard regardless of statistics or facts. The truth is all black men are not dogs nor deadbeats; all black women are not angry nor on welfare. It’s important to state these things because there are too man black women trying to tell the black man what he needs to do. Likewise, there are too man black men trying tell black women what to do. At this point brothers need to confront their own, and sisters need to do the same.
The truth of the matter is it is so much easier to blame the other side for the discord among our people. Yet, we tend not to hold our side accountable consistently for the part played in the confusion…it’s just a rehashed blame game. If men want to be head of their family that starts with them…not black women. They must look to each other and ask so very hard questions. Many of us know the history of what happened after slavery, and why the family is divided. However, black men must hold each other accountable for the part they have played in community demise. Regardless of how it happened they must take control of themselves before looking to black women. This is not judgment it is a fact.
When changes need to be made good leadership starts at the top with self. It is easy to say black women need to look at themselves, which is true, but will you say this to another black man. When black men each other accountable to respect themselves, their women and children then they can look to us. Only a black man knows what it means to be a black man, so there are areas whereby you need each other to grow. It is not enough for black women to say don’t call me bitch. When black men say she’s not a bitch, rape culture in our community must stop, we will fight for our children, etc leadership cannot be denied. Making a black woman the scapegoat for black men weakens him and community.
Black women we cannot expect our men to respect us as queens when we won’t respect ourselves. We must be accountable to our dignity, each other and our womb. In like fashion leadership must be willing to stand accountable and this includes us. We cannot build community while we use children as pawns and deny willing fathers room parent their children. We cannot scream black men need to be involved in the lives of their kids then police their parenting. It is not okay for us to say black men don’t protect black women when we know sisters that beat on black men yet we say nothing. The double standards we allow weaken our community.
If we want to be treated fairly we must be willing to be fair with our men. All black me don’t hate us. Yet, we cannot emasculate a man and demand he accept it. Ladies before we can collectively look to our men we must look at each other. A black man does not understand what it means to be a black woman. Just as we don’t know what it means to be a man we must look to each other to help strengthen our womanhood. When black women stand and say it’s not okay to call him a bitch, beat on him, strip a willing father of his parental rights, misuse our kids, etc the leadership of black women will have to stand uncontested.
The bottom line is there needs to be meetings amongst black men and women separately whereby we can deal with pain, excuse, and confront wrong doing. When we are willing to stand accountable to ourselves, and our own, then we can come together for the betterment of our community. This will also teach our children not to merely sit back and watch their brothers and sisters fall without trying to reach for them. If we let the media tell it black men nor women are worth much when the truth is our value is beyond measure. However, the infighting and hypocrisy must stop. Before we point a corrective finger at one another it’s important that we check our own.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr