(ThyBlackMan.com) Do you want good advice, ask for advice, receive advice or detest when people try to share advice that will help you? Only a fool has to learn the hard way. Any advice that will help you and make your life easier, safer and more productive is wisdom – pure and simple. But all too often ego, pride and insecurity block us from listening to others when we should.
We often hear and realize the phrase “hindsight is 20/20“. That simply means we can see what we should have done after the consequences kick in on the back end. But by then we are usual paying a penalty that we do not want to pay and that we then realize we did not have to pay if only we had listened to begin with.
A wise man (or woman) learns from other people’s mistakes so he does not have to make so many of his own. A wise man asks for advice and counts on that advice while putting his ego, pride and 
insecurities in check. A wise man judges or evaluates the advice on its own merit, regardless of who provided the advice (the messenger). A wise man can hear the benefit of good advice, constructive criticism and wisdom, even if the messenger is not following the advice. Thus a common mistake for unwise people is to judge the advice by whether or not the messenger can follow it. Maybe or maybe not but wisdom stands alone and should be judged by itself, not by the messenger.
When someone is sharing wisdom or good advice with you, be quiet and listen. Then is not the time to share what you know. Just listen. Even if it initially appears he/she is saying something you already know, it is possible he/she may say something you don’t know. Even if you are smarter or more academic, you can learn from someone who knows less than you do. They do not have to no more than you, they simply have to something that you don’t.
As a marriage, family and relationship counselor, life coach, consultant and mediator, I encourage everyone to ask for advice, weigh out that advice and at least listen, no matter the age, career, income or academic status of the messenger. After my seminars and group sessions, I ask for feedback and count on it to make be better, smarter and wiser. What about you?
I have always given my children permission to share their opinions and they have often given good advice to me and others. A person with a different perspective can often see something that you or I may miss. So if you overstand the value of wisdom, the productivity of wisdom and the preventive nature of wisdom to spare you from headache, heartaches and avoidable mistakes, never fight against it. Gain as much of it as you can from as many people as you can and as often as you can. You will learn a lot more by listening than by sharing what you know.
When you regard wisdom in the right way, you will not see it as nagging, meddling or lecturing you. When you regard wisdom in the right way, you will seek it out, hope to find it and use it to make your life better. When you regard wisdom in the right way, you will share it with others as you would have them share it with you. When you regard wisdom in the right way, you will realize ego, pride and insecurity must take a back seat to it because they are neutralized by it.
How many times have you heard people say “let me learn on my own“? When you hear that, you hear a person who lacks wisdom. When you hear that, you hear a person who will wish they thought differently when the consequences kick in. When you hear that, you are hearing a person who will go through things in life that were avoidable and unnecessary. Many of us had to learn a lot of that “the hard way” and I do not therefore wish that on anyone else. So listen to others and seek wisdom where ever you can find it.
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw