(ThyBlackMan.com) To be a dad is one of the greatest feelings in the world. To know that you are shaping the life of a human being in untold ways is phenomenal.
As a single-dad life coach, I occasionally come across other dads who do not know the above feeling because they are absent from their child’s life. It’s no secret that a large majority of our homes with children are absent of fathers. Although the reasons vary – everything from finances to co-parenting conflict to just plain irresponsibility – the single most detectable variable boils down to one word: ATTITUDE. Although the panoply of circumstances which contribute to a father’s absent vary, attitude shapes the predominant result. Here are three reasons (read: attitudes) why you are not in your child’s life and what to do about it.
Reason#1:
Your Thinking is in Error
Have you ever gone to the airport for a long anticipated trip and the ticket agent tells you that you cannot board the flight because you have too many bags? As a single-dad, it’s no different in the spiritual
and mental world. You’re too busy thinking ‘can’t language’ and erecting mental justifications to support your conclusion.
You have an amazing child. A whole new world awaits you if you but take the first step toward your destiny as a dad. But what’s holding you back is erroneous thinking. You are mentally customizing all of the reasons you can’t or won’t take that first step instead of all of the reasons you should – indeed must!
Fix:
Correct your thinking. Get rid of the bags of depression, low self-esteem, anger and low aim that are keeping you grounded in wrong thinking.
We are out of sync with our true nature when we choose to remain on the circumference of our children’s lives. Invest in your power to reverse wrong-thinking.
Remember the words of Richard Larsen, That a man can change himself, improve himself, recreate himself, control his environment and master his own destiny if the conclusion of every mind wide-awake to the power of right thinking.
Reason#2:
You Have Accepted the Lies of Others
The second reason you aren’t in your child’s life is you’ve accepted what others have told you or you have heard of the plight of other dads and wish to avoid their fate. This reason is no less justifiable than the first. It happens all too often when we begin a new relationship and all of sudden think our child becomes less important. Someone may have talked you into accepting this. Personally, the most pitiful dad is the one who has been talked out of the life of his own child by the lies and propaganda others.
Fix:
Do not accept the low aim and lies of others. Do not base your intentions on the results others have not achieved. Apply yourself with a proper spirit. I challenge you to declare your own truth and initiate your own emancipation proclamation. Do not subscribe to the fate of other dads; believe and embrace your own. Expect the best from your effort. Brian Tracy said it best: Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.
Reason#3:
You Don’t Realize You Were Born to Soar
The final reason you are not in your child’s life is because you do not realize just how powerful you are. Because of this, you are afraid of consequences. You are afraid to show up in family court and timid to answer the summons. In short, you are thinking like a captive rather than a conqueror and thusly you are disconnected from your personal power.
J.Z. Colby once wrote, Personal power is the ability to stand on your own two feet with a smile on your face in the middle of a universe that contains a million ways to crush you.
Fix:
Les Brown shares the story of the young man who was bullied on a bus. Every time the young man would get up, the bullies would knock him back down over and over. He got up again but this time he was pinned down. The young man looked up at his tormentors and yelled, “You may hold me down but I’m standing up inside myself!”
Stand up inside yourself! Assume responsibility. Do not become paralyzed by your own self-limiting thinking in relation to your ability to achieve your mission as a dad.
To know that you are shaping life of a human being in untold ways is phenomenal.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitefitnesscoaching.com.