(ThyBlackMan.com) Do our friends have an impact on our success and failure? Is negative peer pressure something only teens experience? Is it possible that our so-called friends say they have our best interests at heart but really don’t?
Yes. No. Yes.
Here’s the bottom line: Our ‘friends’ represent an invisible force field that can yield positive or negative results for our lives, depending on our ability to discern the meaning of such friendships and take corrective action when circumstances deem it necessary.
Jim Rohn once said: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Has your life stagnated? Have you stopped moving toward your goals? If yes, check who you’re keeping company with. Someone to hang with may not always be in your best interests.
The fact is what you hear over and over and what you experience on a daily emotive level becomes part of your internal system. The wrong friends can become silent killers of our dreams.
Here are three negative effects that your five closest friends can have on your life and what to do about it.
Effect#One
Friends Reinforce You, for Better or Worse
Here’s the question to ask of anyone worthy of being close to you: Do they have a success or failure consciousness? The answer can be pivotal to your own aspirations. Who among your friends is constantly speaking failure into their experience? Beware of people who constantly use the following: I’m broke. I’ll never reach my goals. I’m too old. The cumulative effect on your well-being can be debilitating.
Fix:
Determine not to become a dumping ground for the negativity of others. Always look at the difference between a person’s dreams and their actions. The point is to be aware, not necessarily to drop friends who are perpetually negative (although that may not be a bad idea).
Effect#Two
Friends Can Keep You In Bad Relationships
Girlfriends sometimes make poor relationship counselors.
We like to think our friends always have our best interests at heart when it comes to relationships or potential relationships. When we tell our friends of our struggles with romantic relationships, we allow ourselves to become quite vulnerable. Most people are happy to see others in bad relationships because it gives them a feeling of superiority.
Often, the dog that brings the bone carries the bone.
Fix:
Be aware of counsel; it may not always be in your best interests. Always be willing to listen, but in the end do what’s best for you. If the situation warrants it, seek professional help. Someone much wiser than me said, We love only the reflection of ourselves we find in others.
Effect#Three
Friends Can Become Co-dependent
You gotta stop watering dead plants is the way somebody put it recently. There is no guarantee that in giving love we will receive it in like fashion. This maxim is true for friendships as well. We always hope what Eric Fromm says is true: love will produce love in the loved person. It often produces the opposite.
Whether it’s money, attention, baby-sitting or hanging out, our friends can become co-dependent, often sucking the life out of our own dreams and ambitions. Over time, we are robbed of much-needed time alone to develop and nourish our own sense of becoming.
Fix:
Robin Sharma writes, Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with uninspiring attitudes. Timeless advice!
Birds of a feather do indeed flock together.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.