(ThyBlackMan.com) The last fifty years has seen a veritable explosion of single-dads in American society. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of households headed by a father has increased dramatically – from 300,000 in 1960 to 2.5 million in 2011. Some of these men are sharing custody but a sizable number of them have sole custody.
Obviously, single-fathers face daunting challenges of raising their offspring, including access and visitation, communication skill-sets when dealing with a hostile co-parent and how to best conduct themselves while in court.
But do they make ideal relationship and marital prospects? Yes!
First, let’s qualify what a ‘single-dad’ really is.
The most basic definition of a single dad is offered by SingleFather.Org:
Men who have a child and don’t live with the child’s mother.
I personally define a single-dad as one who is fully engaged financially, emotionally and relationally in the life of his offspring, whether he’s caring for the child(ren) in his home or not.
So, divorced from earnings potential, career profiles, body types and other relationship criteria, why do fully-engaged single-dads make attractive mates? Why should enterprising, self-reliant women check out this burgeoning pool of marriage-ready men? Here are three reasons:
He Embodies the Provider and Protector Trait Most Women Want
A single-dad fully engaged with his children is the world’s most powerful man. He is so because he is acting as provider and protector of his children – qualities that most women seek in a mate. He embraces in life the words of Shannon Adler when she says: No boundary or barrier surrounds the heart of a person that loves their self and others.
There are many women who date men who do not have a relationship with their children. If he doesn’t provide for and protect his own seed, what could his value to you be?
It’s not just financial provision that a single-dad shows; a fully-engaged single-dad contributes to the mental, spiritual and social well-being of his children, as well.
As protector, he doesn’t just make sure his offspring avoids getting beat up by the school bully, a single-dad also guards against the devaluation of his children’s self-worth and self-esteem.
These qualities exemplify commitment, which most women say is hard to find in men these days. If he is committed to his children, his relationship value – and thus his value to a woman’s sense of becoming – increases exponentially.
He is Not Afraid of His Soft Side
Paulo Coelho writes: The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility. Yes, single-dads are vulnerable to the machismo and bravado of American culture just like other men. But in the case of a fully-engaged single-dad who must show love and affection toward his children if he is too be revered by them, these unique emotional qualities make him an ideal candidate for love and relationship.
Single-dads know what it means to make and maintain an emotional connection. He’s not afraid of his fragility, especially if he’s raising or helping to raise a girl. He is connected to his soft side yet knows when it’s time to be firm.
Women often lament the men who are physically present yet emotionally absent. Your body’s here with me but your mind is on the other side of town is the way one crooner put it. Single-dads have built-in reservoirs of emotion; they know what it means to be present, to always be in the moment.
He Knows it’s Bigger than Him
This is the most profound reason fully-engaged single-dads make ideal relationship candidates: they know that what they do is for legacy. A wise person once admonished, Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones.
In their role as dad, they intuitively understand that something grander is at work, a larger purpose is unfolding. Thus, they will tend to exhibit more patience, and will be more compassionate and understanding, qualities endemic to a successful relationship.
In union with a woman, this man will tend to see a more providential reason to live. He will tend to have vision and the courage to move toward his vision for himself and for his relationship.
Fully-engaged single-dads make great relationship candidates because they exhibit the provider and protector trait, they are not afraid of their emotions and they understand a bigger cause is at work. While you don’t have to be a fully-engaged single-dad to be in possession of these qualities, you have to be in possession of these qualities to be a fully-engaged single-dad.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
One may also visit his personal website at; http://wericcroomesblog.wordpress.com.