Domestic Violence is NOT Just About Women. : ThyBlackMan

Friday, September 21, 2018

Domestic Violence is NOT Just About Women.

October 5, 2015 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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( A couple gets into a heated discussion that escalates into a shouting match. Tempers flare and the cursing begins as neither party seems to back down.  In the heat of the arguing the woman involved punches the man involved in the face.  She may not realize it but she does not view him as a victim because he is a man.  She also know that if he defends himself, or fights back the police just might take him regardless of the fact that she threw the first punch.  She knows that in many cities the law is on her side no matter what, and there is a legion of women that have been battered that will rally to her aid. Many women would say he ought not hit her back…a man should never hit a woman.  I understand this concept, yet I would like to propose an alternative idea…NO ONE deserves to be abused nor hit.

As we look at the ills of domestic violence we must realize that this subject is not just about women and children.  There is an alarming number of men that endure physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their female lover or spouse, and they suffer in silence.  Addressing this fact does not diminish the plight of women who have suffered domestic violence.  We must realize that men and women are human beings…ones safety in the home should not be valued over another.  Some women don’t realize how big of a problem this has been until a male family member or friend is assaulted by his significant other, and he walks away bruised having not fought back.

For a long time we have lived in a society that says men are strong, and they are less than men if they take a beating from a woman. 2015-domesticviolence-black-men-hitting-womenEvery women isn’t a frail individual.  There are women that can deliver a jab that stings, and leaves a bruise.  I have a brother, and I respect why he would never hit a woman.  However, I admit that I would be concerned about his position should a woman put her hands on him.  Men are not allowed any excuse for beating a woman.  It doesn’t matter the stress he’s under, his health…it doesn’t even matter if she provoked him verbally and/or physically; men ought not hit.  I feel this is a severe double standard that must be addressed as we tackle the subject of domestic violence.

There are many women that know their breaking point.  They know what actions or words would drive them to abuse and violence.  Many feel justified in whatever cause would provoke them; men are not allowed this leeway.  Men are human beings just like us.  They have feelings, and they can also be provoked to behave out of character.  Is it right for me to know that if a man spat in my face I would have a hard time restraining myself against hitting him, but feel that if I spit in his face he should automatically be the pillar of restraint and he had better not dream of hitting me.  Ladies this is unreasonable, hypocrisy, and a terrible double standard.

We, woman and men, should be physically safe in our relationships.  No one should have to endure physical nor psychological abuse.  I know from experience that abuse and violence leaves scars. I would imagine that it would inflict damage on a man just as it has inflicted damage upon me…a woman.

I call for us as people to summon our humanity for all…not merely our own gender.  We should not only reach out to our sisters that are hurting as a result of domestic violence, but also our brothers. Domestic Violence is not just about women…it’s about human beings. We must stand with PEOPLE that are victims of domestic violence.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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3 Responses to “Domestic Violence is NOT Just About Women.”
  1. Jean says:

    It is okay if some of you are that desperate to support men, It’s okay that some of you are so brainwashed by men and men’s groups that you would actually inject some mess about women abusing men. We are all adults here and we have seen the reality of men.

    How dare you try to brainwash other females. This world ready has a grip on females’ minds and our bodies. You can buy into this notions created by men. But the rest of us are not easily deceived by their hurts to us.

    It is real that men rape women. It is real that dads molest and touch their daughters. These abuse situations are real and it’s a slap in women’s faces fir you all to try to convince us females otherwise. even show that women can abuse on the same level. Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and other adult women can’t even catch up to the sexual and physical abuse that girls and women suffer at men’s hands.. And other females are sold in sex slave trade, all over the world, like when females have their vaginas mutilated at the hands of men.

    But let me clear up something else. I have seen some cold, anti woman persons write stuff like this on other websites, then I realized that men supporters are everywhere and are busily trying to brainwash. Females. It will go just so far, because as you have see, some females are learning some knowledge about the truth behind men and their selfish way. and we other females are trying to help other females get some sense.

    So please try and make yourselves useful as some of us strive to rid this earth of the epidemic of male on female abuse like, dads touching thier daughters inappropriately and trying to hug on them as if they are the wives, and bringing daughters to sexist purity balls where the dads proclaim ownership of their daughters’ minds and genitals. Help us ban strip clubs where married men go to have sex and gawk with women other than their wives. Help us to put an end to porn where the woman is one who is naked and doing the degrading acts for the man’s pleasure as she denies herself satisfaction so that she can give enjoyment to the male going audience. Help us stop boys from raping their dates. Help us stop men from cheating on their wives . And the list goes on.

    It’s time for men, to clean up themselves and clean their minds and their hands where their do evil things to females, so that we can stop the hurts to women. So, don’t keep denying and defending men’s sins. Help heal the human race, because not by my doing, if men keep doing their evil, they will reap what they sew.

  2. Adrienne says:

    I know that this is late but I will say I understand what you are saying and agree with a lot of it. I will also point that part of the double standard is that men are the physically stronger sex and female violence isn’t seen as much of threat to men since on average men can cause greater damage on women than vice versa unless the woman is exceptionally stronger or uses a weapon or object in an assault. Most men are aware that they can physically restrain a woman in self defense without having to strike her at all. Women do tend to feel more vulnerable in threatening situation with man then vice versa knowing she could be physically powerless against him if he laid hands on her. Plus the idea of holding on to the old chivalrous rules that frown upon showing any violence towards females in anger that goes against old code of conduct among men. Although no one she hit out at anyone in the heat of anger I think it’s easier for some women to say they would slap or slap back a man if he spit or struck them first since men are more likely raised from boyhood that real men don’t strike a female in anger if he can help himself and the fact society frowns more upon the man if he does. I personally hold both values that first men shouldn’t hit women unless under extreme circumstances that includes life threatening situation as a last resort. Second I agree that it’s not okay to hit anyone outside cases of self defense or defense of others with reasonable force. I don’t feel there is need to pick one of these values over the other but retain both. I also especially frown upon any violence against those who are smaller, weaker and more defenseless and consider it cowardly act. It is true that men do get abused too and that should be addressed more and the laws should apply equally to everyone which means women can be arrested and prosecuted too for committing any assault or domestic violence. Good article and thanks for addressing the other side of a very serious issue.

  3. Marque Anthony says:

    To The Author,
    I have some valuable information on this topic. Please email me at

    And did you know that the same stats that say 1.2 million women are abused each year also state that 837,000 men are abused each year.

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