Dating by the Book: Why Men Should Stop Using the 3 Day Rule. : ThyBlackMan.com

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Dating by the Book: Why Men Should Stop Using the 3 Day Rule.

July 30, 2015 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Tech/Internet, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) In the movie, Swingers, characters wax poetic about how long they wait to call after getting a girl’s number. Those most-successful with the ladies reveal they wait about six days, theorizing it’s long enough as not to seem desperate while mysterious, yet it’s short enough to still stay on a girl’s radar. The three-day rule is another unfound truth about dating and giving a call, yet today’s dating experts disagree, citing a number of reasons for its association to a lack of romantic logic.

Stop Playing Games

Of course, you have to be playful but most women dislike men who play games. Actually, women respect a man who is confident enough to face the truth and speak his mind. Waiting on purpose is playing games, which is not ethical nor proves to be more successful in landing a date or a long-term mate versus contacting a girl immediately.

Don’t Be Too Late

Be realistic; if she caught your eye, it’s likely she can be interesting to others. If you wait too long you may lose out to another guy who was brave enough to call her the next day. If she finds you interesting, your decision to play it cool and wait can backfire. This is especially true considering the pace of the digital age. How many guys could potentially send a Facebook message, tweet to her, or find her via hook up apps on an average day?

Be a Man of Action

What would happen if you sat around waiting to reply to a job posting? Or, what would happen if you waited to cross the road without taking action? You would gain zero ground, so waiting to contact a girl is a similar fault. You’re wasting your own time by waiting to contact her when you should be taking action and letting the cards fall as they may. Be a man of action rather than paralyzed by thought and inaction. She’s either going to reciprocate your interest or reject your advances; waiting for it to happen won’t change the outcome.

Be Confident About Your Feelings

If you’re interested in her, then be confident enough to reveal this truth. Just because you call her soon after getting her number does not make her assume you’re thinking about marriage (Even if you have a ‘good’ feeling about her, definitely keep that to yourself!). There’s something to admire about a man who is not afraid of his true feelings and can admit that he’s interested. It shows you’re a man and ‘own’ the situation. However, waiting and being reluctant is a sign of a lack of confidence and a person who thinks a situation is beyond their control.

Give a Text and Not a Phone Call

Once upon a time, there was no alternative but to phone a girl after getting her number, but today you can send a text, which is a bit less nerve wracking. If you are a bit nervous, you get the best of both worlds by sending a text; you’re alerting her of your interest while not seeming too nervous or excited. Plus, texting allows you to pick up on whether there is a mutual initial interest aside from giving you her number, which brings us to the next tip about modern dating.

Realize Getting Her Number is Not Enough

What if she gave a false number because she felt bad for you or she just wanted to escape the encounter? Without making a quick subsequent effort, you’ll feel even more like a buffoon by sitting on what was a false number the entire time. Moreover, giving your number is not a blatant admission of interest. Some give their number to a lot of people only to follow up with a few if any. Getting her number if not enough; you have to follow up to know if she is actually interested in taking things further.

Don’t Be Obvious

Women are clever and usually emotionally intelligent, meaning they probably know whether you seemed interested or not. So, don’t be obvious in waiting three days when the “three-day rule” is something we all know about. You’ll wind up looking like a rookie and disingenuous. She could be a couple steps ahead and already have figured you would call, maybe even assuming you’ll wait the conventional “three days” to do it. So throw her a curve and don’t wait. Be straightforward and be yourself. She’s eventually going to have to learn to like the real you or decide she’s not that interested, so don’t put off the inevitable.

Staff Writer; Madison Lee


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Comments

One Response to “Dating by the Book: Why Men Should Stop Using the 3 Day Rule.”
  1. Marque Anthony says:

    Madison,

    Not a bad article and it is a pretty good attempt to address the issue. I am a veteran family and relationship counselor, life coach and mediator. Relationships are not games, even though they keep making movies like Two Can Play That Game. Our people need a lot of help in the area of relationships. So many of them are coming from broken, dysfunctional or gay homes that they no longer have the strong role models they need to create balance ion their lives.

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