(ThyBlackMan.com) Recently I wrote an article entitled What’s Wrong With African-American Women. But now it’s time for us to take a good hard look at African-American men and the problems we have. Beware guys, because if you keep reading, I am going to be hard on you – hard but fair. Why? Because you have to set the tone for the family and the community. You are the leaders who need to rise up and stop blaming the white man, even though I acknowledge there has been a systematic and strategic effort in this country to emasculate and oppress you . But you are bigger than that and better than that. If you will look in the mirror and fix your problems, you can expect that the world will take note and you will command restoration to your rightful place, a place stolen from you by slavery.
Too many men of our ethnicity are branded as lazy, sorry, no good, irresponsible, game players, users, immature or dogs. And many of you look and walk like a duck so….. but you can change that. Some of you are not in those categories, but for those of you who are, it’s time to grow up, man up and step up. No more excuses. No more blaming the “baby’s mama” YOU picked. You got what you wanted but then you didn’t want what you got. Life deals some nasty blows but you can and need to dust yourself off and stop waiting on your woman to do it for you. I do not want to call you names because the world does too much of that already. Instead I want to look at your problems, what caused them and what is keeping them in place. Largely, the only one who can really hold you down is you – unless you empower someone else to do so by believing they can.
Many African-American men are wounded, broken or both. These are reasons for certain behaviors, not excuses. The culprits? Slavery, abusive or “too busy” moms, absentee dads, negative females from past relationships and even childhood molestations. You may not be aware of this but in the worldwide sex trade (especially in the Illuminati), young boys are considered prizes, trophies and prime candidates for sexual abuse – in some cases more so than young girls. I know of dozens of cases I have encountered in my present or previous career. But men you need to know that you are a victim only as long as you believe you are. The minute you stop accepting that is the minute the authority over your reality begins to return to you.
A great many African-American men lack a knowledge of self and identity. Who are you? What are you? If you say you are a “black man”, you have already missed the boat. Black is the color of your car tires and in this country our people were labeled as “black” by white slave owners to create a contrast between night and day, good and evil, dismal and bright. You need to know who and what you are and many of you do not have a clue. If you do not know who or what you are, you will likely act like something and somebody you are not. You were made in God’s image so it’s time you wake up and act like you know. When you realize just the things I have said so far and you receive the revelation of them, the leader in you will begin to wake up, the lion in you will begin to rise up and the victory in you will start to show up.
A lack of real identity is what allows false identities and poor standards to take root. Too many of our brothers are acting like dogs in heat, chasing everything with a skirt, stretch pants or a “coochie“. You need to stop thinking below the waist. Instead you should be concentrating on your goals, your identity and your example. If you do so, women will notice you and you will not have to chase them. But you cannot expect a woman to follow your lead if all you do is lead yourself off a cliff or into a brick wall.
I must take a minute to set myself, my research and my motives apart from the Steve Harveys of the world who basically sell out men in order to get a TV show and a game show. Then there are the mediocre Dr Phils of the world who convince people all of their problems start in the mirror. That is not always true, but looking in the mirror can help you take account of your ability to do something about who or what is hindering you. Be very careful of the types I just mentioned because these type men are opportunists waiting to exploit someone’s weakness for popularity, ratings or gain. And if you know either of the men I named, tell them I said so. I will debate them on the topic any time.
A lack of real identity causes African-American men to be lazy, poor leaders and often produce what they saw – nothing. I didn’t see that in my household growing up. But if a man acts like a dog, he does so because he subconsciously believes he is a dog. If a man acts irresponsible, he believes that is who he is. If a man spends his money on strippers, prostitutes, weed or other drugs, his actions show he does not have proper insight for the future. He seeks instant gratification and the escapes of denial today instead of planning for tomorrow. He does not understand his purpose and the role he plays in the destiny of tomorrow. Before some of you get mad and say it, no It’s not just entertainment. It’s beneath you and you don’t even know it. You need to clear your head guys and regain the strength of your morality. How would you like it if your daughter or your mother was the one on stage naked that all the men are salivating over, fondling and degrading? African-American man need to represent the stability and example of men of character, value and morals – men who knows their real identity, not the identity society has embedded within you. Wake up.
Last year in 25 degree weather I saw a young African-African woman unloading a cart full of groceries while her African-American boyfriend sat in the warm car with the music on. That should never, ever happen. Before I saw him, I approached her to help. He jumped out of the car and almost got violent. He was offended and thought I was trying to talk to her, but I was only trying to help. She didn’t even bother to say thanks anyway, he got back in the warm car and she kept on loading all the groceries alone. THAT SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN. And young males, please PULL UP YOUR PANTS. Spell “saggin” backwards and what do you get? Niggas, ignorant acting African-American males who do not know who they are, what they should do or how they should act. As for the homosexual African-American males, you were born a MALE so act like a MALE. Regardless of what you think you should have been, apparently “God” did not have to get your consent before He created you so act like you know.
Guys you are getting tagged, targeted and stereotyped because you have allowed yourself to fall right into the behavioral traps that were set for you. Put simply, you are acting just like they said you would, thinking just as they predicted and reacting just as they expected. This has to stop. You are better than that, you are bigger than that and you were not born for that.
Guys you need to stop degrading women – even when they degrade themselves. You need to stop belittling women, abusing women and bouncing from woman to woman. You need to stop cheating. You need to take care of your children and teach your young boys to grow up and do the same. Do not let the woman or the court run you away because neither is an excuse for your absence. You need to pay your bills, learn the English language, stop using ebonic garbage or foul language and stop waiting for women to do what you should be doing.
I do realize the system we live in has been set up to trap you, oppress you and crush you, but only you can step into the trap. Nobody can force you into the bear trap unless you let them. It’s time to be accountable for your own actions. Today you need to stop blaming mama, daddy, the white man, the government, George Bush, the woman YOU picked or your job. If you have been hurt, welcome to the club, but it’s time to heal and stand up. You are going to have to face your problems and make them go away, not smoke them away, drink them away, weed them away or blame them away on someone else.
African-American women, while you are nodding your head, choose to be part of that man’s solution – not just part of his problem. We know the problems but lift him up, motivate him, encourage him and expect him to meet a higher standard. Then give him time to do it. Ladies when it comes to African-American men, if you cannot speak up to build up and lift up then shut up. Change often takes time, but with help my African-American brothers, it can and will happen – no matter what you have gone through. The mirror must become a friend to the African-American man, not an enemy. Only then can the African-American man cast a true reflection of the greatness he has within. I believe in you!
To reach me for confidential counseling, mediation, problem resolution, life coaching or other articles I have written, email me at brainstormonline@yahoo.com. You always have options.
Staff Writer; Marque-Anthony