Antonio Cromartie, Let’s be real: Sloppy parents hurt us more than George Zimmerman ever could.

by Staff March 11, 2014 3 Comments News Opinion Sports Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) I wanted to share a very quick thought about a conversation I had this morning.

Someone got mad at me for saying this, but I stand by it till the end: Men who have lots of kids with lots of women damage the black community as much or more than George Zimmerman (we were talking about Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, who has 12 kids with 8 women). And yes, this also goes for the women who keep on sleeping with them.

What I found to be really funny is that someone then emailed me and seriously said, “He has 12 kids, but that’s not as bad as the other guy who had 21 kids by 18 different women.” I laughed to myself because the best way to subtly encourage ridiculous behavior is to lower the bar and compare ourselves to the lowest common denominator (“Yea, I buy my baby diapers once a month, but some never buy anything for their kids, so I’m doing pretty good”).

My point is that if you’re going to howl and complain about the George Zimmermans of the world (which we should), we should also be howling and complaining about the things that happen in our own community. Too often, black people are fooled into being so focused on non-black enemies that we often forget about the black people who hate us just as much.

We can forgive, build and learn from self-destructive behavior. This is not a witch hunt against men like Antonio Cromartie and the women they sleep with. But it is NOT acceptable to act as if it’s no big deal and that kids aren’t suffering as a result of bad choices that we make. Millions of children are lost today because their parents were hellbent on instant gratification. Then those of us who care end up spending our lives looking out for other people’s children.

Again, I don’t advocate being angry at people who make this mistake, since many of them didn’t know any better. But we can’t just overlook this problem and pretend that it doesn’t exist. We’re not meant to procreate like dogs, having babies everywhere and then abandoning them to die, or mating with whoever looks good without thinking about the potential consequences. We are better than that.

Let’s be honest: If you have no plan for your kids and keep bringing them into the world without preparation, then you have effectively decided that you want them to suffer in life.

There really isn’t much else to say about that.

Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins

Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.

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Papacool says:
March 16, 2014 at 11:33 am
This article is a prime example of topics that require deep discussion in order to bring resolution to the problem. In reading the article I was left wondering how did 8 different women find it acceptable to let one man gain entrance into their personal Fort Knox? Did he pull a gun on them or did they know who he was and thought of financial security based on entrapment? It would be safe to say that the ones that know better than us are all of the people that were involved. I would like to see and hear the explanation come from Mr. Cromartie himself and the women involved.
All of us have free will to do whatever we want based on our value systems. Not all males are predators as the same can be said of women. We simply have to understand that our ways of thinking do not necessarily follow God’s plan, which is why we pray that His will be done and not ours. Sex is promoted constantly within our society in almost every avenue of learning that we experience. We all are a product of our environment and need to accept the responsibility and accountability that comes with the territory.
As a black male I can say that I too was ignorant of the responsibilities that I have spoken of as I enjoyed my youth of pursuing conquests without a care of the outcome. Now as I reflect on my actions, I first of all have fallen on my knees and have thanked God for letting me make it through all of my individual foolishness and have gained wisdom and appreciation of just being alive at this point. I have made it a point to accept my actions and to focus on sharing the things I have learned to the next generation of youth coming up. It makes me laugh and saddened at times as I have been given the privilege of seeing how our societal system has lackened over time.
But I can say that it is also extremely hard to right the wrongs when agreement can not be achieved. Feelings have been hurt and defensive posturing becomes the norm as two wrongs never make a right. Then comes the action of people trying to make each other as miserable as all get out in an effort to exact revenge in making things equal. Shows on television such as Basketball Wives and the Housewives of Atlanta do not help as they promote a high level degree of selfishness in people thinking more of themselves than what is reasonable. As far as I know no one can really think that they are the ultimate as there will always be someone smarter, richer, and more attractive somewhere else in the world.
As long as Antonio is taking care of his, why should it matter? People are going to do whatever they want regardless of if it is the right or wrong thing to do. For us to armchair quarterback situations such as this based on what we see on the surface only is extremely petty and shallow. Situations such as this seem to be a problem only because of the exposure given to them. Caring is not a crime, but one needs to carefully think out his or her reaction to the problem. Peace out, Papacool.
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toomanygrandkids says:
March 12, 2014 at 5:14 am
While it’s true that females are to blame for giving up the “cookie” quickly and far too frequently, black males are at fault for crawling between those legs. It’s not just Antonio whose willingly spreading his seed among various females. Black males have been overpopulating black communities for years. Producing children in the double digits shows that these black males can’t control their impulses for sex nor do they choose to protect themselves.
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Angye says:
March 11, 2014 at 7:36 pm
Kudos!
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