How to be a Successful Black Republican/Conservative.

by Staff October 23, 2013 16 Comments News Opinion Politics Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) The following list represents a tried-and-true formula for gaining instant fame and prominence as a black conservative/Republican.

#1. Spend inordinate amounts of media time talking about how much you loathe being called an “African-American” -since hyphenations of any kind are “un-American.”

#2. Tell your audiences how sick you are of liberals playing the race card, but make sure your website, book name, documentary title, and T-shirt line CLEARLY identify you as a BLACK conservative/Republican.

#3. Constantly talk about how Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are race baiters. Obsessively mention Tawana Brawley and the Duke lacrosse scandal, but don’t ever mention Amadou Diallo (the unarmed African immigrant who was shot at 41 times in front of his home while pulling out his wallet to show the NYPD his

identification) and Abner Louima (The Haitian immigrant sodomized by an NYPD officer with a bathroom plunger).

#4. Complain about how much you’re rejected and victimized by the black left and how sad you are that you’re always being excluded and called a “sellout.”

#5. Remind the conservative base, ad nauseum, how much black people love government handouts and welfare. Don’t mention anything about the fact that the black statistical representation of welfare recipients is virtually equal to that of whites. Also, don’t EVER tell them that the majority of blacks really aren’t poor, aren’t criminals, don’t hate white people, and don’t wait for marching orders from Sharpton and Jackson, et al. Mentioning any of the above could result in fewer book sales, less airtime, or a drastic reduction in donations.

(Note: Never, ever proffer the following questions: ‘Why do blacks who aren’t receiving any government handouts continue to reject the right?’ ‘Why do Asians, Jews, Hispanics and almost every other minority group vote overwhelmingly Democrat?’)

#6. Talk about how Martin Luther King’s dream was a post-racial society, but don’t ever post the clip of him proclaiming, “I’m black and I’m proud!” on any of your social media outlets.

#7. Make fun of Africa and be sure to thank God for slavery.

#8. Publicly denigrate movements like the NAACP, and the Congressional Black Caucus because they’re “racial separatists”-but don’t say anything about conservative organizations designed specifically for Blacks.

#9. When discussing George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin, ignore everything that transpired up until the point Zimmerman was getting beat up.

#10. Defend Paula (Obama Supporter) Deen, but make fun of Rachel Jeantel every opportunity you get!

#11. Talk about race when it comes to abortion and welfare dependence, but don’t address race under any other circumstances. Sentencing disparities? Police brutality? Racial profiling? Red lining? Glass ceilings? What the heck are those?

#12. Do not discuss substantive issues like recidivism, inmate re-entry, community policing, or high school dropout rates. Instead, blame Obama for all that is wrong with the universe. (This one works like a charm!)

#13. Talk about black-on-black crime, black-on-white crime, but don’t ever discuss white-on-white crime, and especially not white-on-black crime!

#14. Whenever someone asks you about the racist undercurrent on the right, blame liberals. Under no circumstances are you allowed to address racism on the right. Remember: Racism doesn’t exist anymore.

#15. Finally, make certain to constantly go on right-wing media outlets and talk about how black people need to do this and that, but DON’T YOU DARE roll up your sleeves and go into those communities with the sole objective to listen and serve.

Written By Vanessa Jean-Louis

For more thought provoking articles visit; HipHopRepublican.com.

Also connect with them via twitter; http://twitter.com/HHR

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James W. Lewis says:
October 31, 2013 at 11:19 pm
Seems like this article is saying black people are destined to ONLY be Democrat.
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CD Smith says:
October 26, 2013 at 7:45 pm
@Marcus V:
I am not sure we share a common reference in terms of what you call “modern-day conservatism”. So, I don’t feel confident in responding to your points because I don’t think we share a common frame of reference regarding conservatism.
Would you please define for me your understanding of major tenants of conservatism?
This book is my frame of reference: http://www.amazon.com/The-Conservatives-Handbook-Defining-Position/dp/1581826621
Individuality and the Black Conservative:
You state: “A true Black conservative looks to enhances the Black position using aspects of conservative philosophy but if the two conflict then they are pragamatic and will reject the aspects of conservatism that are detrimental to Blackness.”
What is Blackness? I am almost fifty but I do not have a definition for that..If we are talking history, then yes I can relate. If we are talking cultural, then yes I can relate.
If we I talking “essence”, then you have to explain that to me.
Here is an interesting reference on the topic of individuality and black conservatives: http://www.amazon.com/Dimensions-Black-Conservatism-U-S-America/dp/0312293704/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382831106&sr=1-1&keywords=dimensions+of+black+conservatism
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Marcus V says:
October 26, 2013 at 4:47 pm
CD I don’t mean to not give you a chance to respond to the last post but this really piqued my interest.
You state, “One of the characteristics of black conservatives is that the color of our skin of is NOT the defining aspect of who we are.”
1st I think this is true of most folks regardless. Why all have different dimensions of how we define ourselves at different times. This in and of itself is immaterial to the larger arguments.
What is more important however, is where you place the ADJECTIVES. For example, I think many so-called Black conservatives are really conservative Blacks and not the other way around. I wrote an article on this about 8 years ago.
To me the difference is this:
A conservative Black diminishes his Blackness in favor of the dominant position irrespective of whether that position has a detrimental effect to Black folks.
A true Black conservative looks to enhances the Black position using aspects of conservative philosophy but if the two conflict then they are pragamatic and will reject the aspects of conservatism that are detrimental to Blackness.
I think they are two very different outlooks. In my long experience in writing about this and debating it most so-called Black conservatives are really conservative Blacks. At least the ones in mainstream media. Now I have met some great Black conservatives at the local level that are not like anything that we see in the media.
By the way, this same argument applies to the Black liberal or the Liberal Black. I have had equal arguments with that side against Blacks who subsume their Blackness to liberalism.
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Marcus V says:
October 26, 2013 at 4:36 pm
CD that is really a myopic argument. 1st, my rebuttal to your Booker T claim. Let me make a clear distinction. There is conservatism as a modern political party ideology and there is conservatism as it relates to status quo or historical political positioning. Those two really can’t be obfuscated.
So if you are making an argument that Booker T was conservative relative to his contemporary peers I have no problem with that argument. If you are making an argument that Booker T would cosign with the modern conservative position there is no way you can make that argument and win it.
Next point. Nationalism isn’t a far right version of conservatism. They are two totally different ideological constructs.
The problem you are going to have with that argument all the time is simple. Would Malcolm X or Marcus Garvey support the modern ideological positions as stated by the conservative movement in today’s America. THERE IS NOTHING in their writings that would even remotely suggest that they would hold that position. Nationalism is nationalism. You have to add the political context to nationalism. You can have socialist nationalism, monarchistic nationalism etc.
Finally, I get your argument about ad hominem attacks against the conservative position based upon the failings of visible Black conservatives. But I also have a pragmatic rebutle to that as well.
Politics is not about strict logic, it is about perception of individuals, leadership, behaviors etc. Now Jesse Lee Peterson has said literally some of the craziest (*@$ I have ever heard on national news. Now when this is the individual (and those like him) who are consistently presented by the conservatives as quality conservatives who happen to be Black then you can’t simply say, “People don’t matter, listen to the arguments”.
Remember, I came from a Republican family until I rejected the conservative and liberal ideologies as false dichotomies and failed philosophies for true Black progress. I am neutral in the sense that I hate them both. So I am making this argument as someone more likely to be swayed by your argument than a leftist.
You can’t allow these Black folks to be the face of conservatism and then expect to make real head way.
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CD Smith says:
October 25, 2013 at 10:37 pm
@Stephanie Campbell,
I agree with your observation but what black high profile person will be seen publically associated with a conservative? Jay-Z, Steve Harvey, Oprah Winfrey?
Most blacks are hypocritical in that if white people do not have blacks in their company, they are racist. The blacks that “are” in their company are sellouts unless they are liberal. When conservatives are in the presence of blacks they are insulted. No win situation…
Black men and white women:
As far as conservative men and white women, I don’t know think that is fair characterization …However, I think there more than enough proof that liberal black men win that award hands down: http://bossip.com/756589/sorry-sistas-a-list-of-famous-black-men-who-only-knock-up-white-women/
One of the characteristics of black conservatives is that the color of our skin of is NOT the defining aspect of who we are.
I had the experience of explaining to a female co-worker who was accusing a white co-worker of “racism” for some issue. I asked her, how do you know it was because of racism?
I asked her:
How do you know that it is not “jealousy” because of your beautiful appearance or the professional way you express yourself?
How do you know that it is not “intimidation” because of your education?
You and I are much more than the color of skin. That perspective comes off as not “loving” your blackness in eyes of the one dimensional person. Any and every slight has to be because they are “black”.
Most black people don’t see how they are “minimizing” themselves and those things about them that makes them uniquely special.
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CD Smith says:
October 25, 2013 at 10:00 pm
@Marcus Vessey,
Technically you are correct in that Garvey and Malcom X were Black Nationalists. Booker T. definitely conservative in his positions. I would be happy to read your rebuttal of that..
However, Black Nationalism is the far right variant of Black Conservatism. Here is my reference: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0415535506/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0415535506&linkCode=as2&tag=thejouofblain-20
Are there opportunist and fame seekers in the conservative movement? YES…However, their efforts at self-promotion for whatever reason ( I don’t want to judge, their hearts as that is beyond my ability as a mere human) should not detract from the basic argument that “conservatism” is a better path than liberalism for the purposes of uplift, economic and social stability in the black community.
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Tim Buck says:
October 25, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Realman2: you sound just like the type to tell a black high school graduate with a scholarship that he/she is “acting or trying to be white” but that’s okay. Stay uneducated while you shuck and jive for your white liberal friends!
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Stephanie Campbell says:
October 25, 2013 at 4:42 pm
The problem is when a black conservative is around OTHER conservatives the majority of them are white so their thinking tends to be the same. Also a lot of black conservative males are married to white women. Blacks have a problem identifying with those who are not like them in the way of culture, skin color, economics etc.
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Marcus Vessey says:
October 25, 2013 at 4:06 pm
CD Smith, 1st none of those folks you mentioned are conservatives (Booker, Garvey, etc.). Self-reliance and economic determinism are synonymous with conservative philosophy alone.
2nd, I believe (because that was written on a conservative site) she is pointing out how the highly visible Black conservatives become successful. And this is true. I used to write for a Blog called urban conservative and what she wrote about is exactly how Armstrong Williams, Jesse Lee Peterson, Star Parker, LaShawn Barber and other high profile ‘go to’ Black conservatives spoke almost exactly.
I am not a cat that believes that all Black conservatives are delusional and that those positions don’t have some merit. But when those that don’t follow this model don’t dispute the actions of those highly visible Black conservatives then it gives all Black conservatives a bad reputation.
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CD Smith says:
October 24, 2013 at 3:38 pm
No such formula exists that will provide fame or fortune for anyone who promote conservative ideas in the black community. Never have..From Garvey, Booker T. Washington, Malcom X, Thomas Sowell, etc.. None of these people are household names.
Conservative ideas acknowledge your dignity and ability as a person but “REQUIRES” you to take responsibility for your choices. It is the “tough” path but the path that will provide us the what will make us strong as a community.
That scares most of us. So we need a way out and excuse…
There is long line of people that are willing to provide that excuse for a fee..Liberalism acknowledges black people as perpetual victims that need redress from the sins of past..
That is why most of us in the black community gravitate toward the voices that express revenge, division and hatred. At the same time, we are jealous of each other, do not support black business and are killing each other at a level the KKK never did..
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Satchel says:
October 24, 2013 at 2:50 pm
It would me interesting to know how Kneegrow Conservatives/Republicans feel regarding that list of “tried-and-true formula for gaining instant fame and prominence as a black conservative/Republican” coming from another Republican. we have already heard for ewill, I think.
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ewill says:
October 24, 2013 at 9:55 am
How to be a Successful Black Democrat/Socillist.
1. Stay uneducated
2. Stay angry
3. Stay violant
4. Stay a racist
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hoodgirl says:
October 24, 2013 at 12:25 am
Well said CD Smith.
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Satchel says:
October 23, 2013 at 10:55 pm
As a general rule, conservatives are against a strong government, high taxes, and anything regulated. They are for traditional American values(their definition), free trade (privatization of everything ie. education, medical care, post office ect.), a strong military (to protect THEIR businesses in foreign countries), a color blind society (as long as it’s not too many other than white) and Christian principles (Turn the other cheek). Other then maybe a Kneegrow, there is no such thing is a Black conservative.
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CD Smith says:
October 23, 2013 at 9:42 pm
To Vanessa Jean-Louis,
I don’t know of any black conservatives or Republicans that garner any significant influence among liberal blacks or most Republicans based on the “alleged” formula that you discuss. I don’t know any that have become rich because of it.
So, I don’t understand your definition of success within that context. The vast majority of your comments are broad generalizations that could apply to black liberals and conservatives.
I can provide the names of numerous “rich” liberal blacks in the news and show-biz that are making millions promoting their fake “down with the cause” rhetoric.
Aren’t you getting tired of “rich” black liberals telling us how bad “we” got it?
I have a few observations about Black conservatives:
1. They are PROUD, self-reliant people that want to provide for needs of themselves and their families and “participate” in the free enterprise system using their God given gifts and talents like every other ethnic group.
2. They refuse to use the “racism” and prejudice of others to prevent themselves and their children from achieving their dreams. In fact, they do not view racist as “all-powerful” as many blacks do. They fight to not allow the racism of others to destroy their sense of self-worth or potential because we are created in the image of God.
3. They rely on their faith in God and believe that a “strong” family is the cornerstone of our community. When the family is strong, the community is strong and “less” dependent on the government. They believe in allowing God to do what man does not have the power to do.
4. Black conservatives are not “afraid” to look in the mirror and face those things within ourselves that we have the power to change.
5. Black conservatives are not “tribalistic” in their thinking. Black conservatives believe that when “individuals” are empowered to succeed, the “group” succeeds. Liberals believe the opposite which have only produced failed outcomes when attempted.
6. In the tradition of Marcus Garvey, Malcom X, black conservatives believe that economic unity within black community promotes political power and self-reliance.
7. Black conservatives demand that the government be good “stewards” of the earned money they take from us.
8. Black conservatives want to use their public tax money to send their children to schools of their choice.
Do any of these points threaten the black community?
Please discuss how liberal ideology for the last 50 years has empowered the black community.
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Realman2 says:
October 23, 2013 at 5:11 pm
You left out make sure you have a good pair of Tap dancing shoes to entertain your white conservative friends.
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