Til Death Do Us Part: Marriage Is Not For The Weak!

by Staff July 25, 2013 5 Comments News Opinion Relationships Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) For some reason marriage has become something so hard for Black folks to commit to, and when they commit to it, it often ends up in divorce. Some people get married with the mindset that “if it does not work, Ill just Divorce“. WRONG WRONG WRONG, and its just all out foolish to think that way. When you say that you love some one, I mean really really love someone enough to say those vows and marry them, then that’s it.

When you commit to GOD, there is no breaking that commitment. Now, if you are getting hit upside the head, and someone is just totally dogging you to the point that its dangerous, by all means get out of that situation, but if you guys are disagreeing, arguing, and/or going through some challenges, that should be worked out.

When you take divorce out of the equation, that means that I CANNOT LEAVE, and you both will have to work things out. I mean come one, if two people really love each other, how is it that they cannot work it out.There is one key ingredient that should be in you marriage, and that’s GOD. Often times we try our best to make the other person happy, which you cannot take on that responsibility because you will come up short. You cannot make someone happy all of the time, that just will not happen.

Now, if you love your wife or husband the way that GOD speaks, you will see a big difference. I am always hearing people say that they are not happy, well do not blame that on the other person, you better find out a way to be happy. People will do things to hurt you, there is no doubt about that, but if you love them like you said when you made that commitment, you will see it through.

Til death do us part! What does that mean to most people when it comes to marriage? Ill tell you what it means to me! It means that when you are pissed and/or heartbroken by your mate, you still should take care of them and do what your are suppose to do for them. I will voice my opinion and try to make things right, and she should be willing to do the same thing. Stop putting so much faith into people, because we are only human and make stupid mistakes. Be willing to forgive them and see what you both can do to make things better, but no matter what, no DIVORCE. Often times you swear you mate is so wrong and maybe they are, but have you ever been wrong?

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, not a fly by night, I can’t have my way, you have pissed me off so I’m gone type of deal. You made a vow each other, and most importantly GOD. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and leaver your mate and see what else is our there. I’m not saying that there are not other good people in the world, but what happens when you commit to them and they do not make you happy? Are you going to bail out yet again? Before you tie that knot, make sure that you are built for that, and can really commit to that person until the death of one of you.

Staff Writer; Kataurus Braswell

This brother is founder of Black Convo Media Group LLC, a group of website’s dedicated to African Americans. He is also a freelance writer, music producer, and blogger.

Can also connect via Facebook BCMedia and Twitter; BlackConvo.

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Get Him Back says:
August 30, 2013 at 9:17 am
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Ms. Lady says:
August 14, 2013 at 8:02 pm
I completely agree that marriage is not for the weak! My husband and I have been married for 10 years now and none of it has been a cake walk. Still, we try to remain committed to the mentality that “we are in this thing forever”. Problem is…sometimes people become content with how THEY want things or with what makes THEM happy (selfishness). Its my opinion that even if we profess to never separate; the truth of the matter is that when you have one party to a two-party union refusing to think about the whole unit rather than a piece or a part of it staying becomes a lot more difficult. The difficulty stems from the fact that you are fighting for a marriage alone…you are sacrificing alone…and you are suffering alone. I’m all for fighting to keep it together. I’m just tired of doing the work by myself.
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dammit mon says:
July 29, 2013 at 6:37 am
P.C. are u making a COMMENT or trying to write a DAMN BOOK?!!!
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Jazzie Dixson says:
July 26, 2013 at 10:24 am
So true Kataurus Braswell! Marriage is certainly not for punks. Well written. Well said Papacool.
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Papacool says:
July 25, 2013 at 8:33 pm
What exactly is the definition of the vows? The foundation needed for marriage has been eroded mainly due to the fact that it is not being taught. I was taught that a man and a woman constituted a marriage, whereas now all types of togetherness is being placed in front of society and people are being forced to accept it or else. We can not seem to get on the same page when it comes to defining what is right and it does not seem that we can even have a reasonable discussion of the subject. When something is open to interpretation there will always exist the chance of something being misunderstood or taken out of context. Even the men of the cloth can not decide what is right as things that were defined as abominations to GOD have been challenged and even accepted as normal. Being in the closet or out of it does not matter to one such as I, because I feel no need to criticize it one way or the other. All I can be responsible for is myself and my actions. When jumping the broom was the normal expectation as a form of a man being on his own, it seems that back in the day, that moment was really celebrated by the entire tribe of people connected to the occasion. One can not commit to something if he or she does not fully understand what goes with the program. To love someone for better or worse, till death do us part is now passe in so many arenas. Women want to be men and men want to be women, and the whole role reversal thing is so confusing in the ongoing fight for equality. We need to call timeout and get back to the real basics which include some spiritual healing. Without God being the head of the union, it seems to be doomed to fail. Love has been replaced by lust and people hook up for the material and not the spiritual. As a Black male, I have tried to take the time to examine the role of the male throughout different stages of time, with the primary focus being on protecting and providing leadership, love, and guidance in the marriage stage of life. Women have become breadwinners and have exercised their freedom of choices in all matters which include to have and to hold, and have in some instances sidestep the traditional expectation for the new wave way of the world. Black men have always had their backs against the wall, as during the times of slavery the man was ripped from his family and even had to endure seeing the family split up and sold. It seems that the female was more acceptable to be entrusted by the dominating powers that were at that time and the male was reduced to nothing. Now as we have made so much progression to the good life, the same obstacles exist more overtly. If marriage was taught to be an expectation of life instead of a choice, maybe things would change. All I know is that the image of Black males has been damaged to the core and a makeover is long overdue. Marriage should be an equal partnership, with the focus of doing better than the previous generation. The idea of people hanging together as long as things are good is a fallacy that has been hyped by unrealistic expectations. I would challenge anyone to listen to Eddie Griffin’s Education cut before trying to unionize and honestly see if you can relate to it in any form or fashion. For example, when a woman is taught just find you a good man with a good job so he can take care of you mindset, the opposite question should be asked as to what can you bring to the table as well. As doing for someone is not a one way street. It has to work both ways as two become one. At the first sign of a problem, the I am going home to Mama routine comes in, without any attempt to identify the problem and work together on a solution. People seem to have forgotten the togetherness part of the relationship goes much deeper than just sex. While out on the town I see couples working on a phone harder than they do their relationship especially when I go out for a bite to eat. I have noticed that texting has become the norm rather than a focused conversation that is heartfelt. Even the art of handholding is a rarity. I have experience that same level of coldness especially when my program is on or I am tired. Wow, you must be out of energy as you are tired 7 days a week. But let that phone ring and on the other end is someone that one not only worked with, but now even your after hours are being shared as they seem to always have some constant crisis going on. After experiencing this, I can personally see why I would have marriage on the backburner as it just is not what it used to be. In closing, the one good thing I have experienced came with a tinge of sadness. My Dad passed away over 21 years ago, and to see my mother engage herself in other activities to stay busy without dropping her draws has been one of the highest testaments of love that one could ever hope for. The unfortunate thing about it is that they just do not make them like that in this day and time. God bless all of the good women and men out there because even when things look bleak, it is good to know you exist. Peace out, Papacool.
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