(ThyBlackMan.com) The world is dangerous. I know that. We all know that. It’s dangerous because God said it would be. Because it’s evil and because it’s fleshly. The world is dangerous. It’s not just dangerous for Black men but for everyone. For every human being, the world is saying when we tell our sons and daughters to stay away from gangs, we are telling them to avoid those things that heighten the possibility of them being hurt or killed. When we tell them to avoid bad people, stay away from drugs and guns, and be vigilant against situations that place them in questionable circumstances, we are teaching them to preserve their own lives. Because the world is dangerous.
We have even told them not to speed and to avoid unnecessary run-ins with law enforcement for fear that they will be perceived as the aggressor and
therefore contributing to their own demise. Unfortunately, some of them don’t listen. They place themselves in the line of fire. They volunteer for the death squad that awaits them at the hands of those who look just like them and those who do not. Even in their rebellion, their lives are no less valuable; but how can you save someone who rushed toward and contributed to the danger?
But what do you tell your children, your neighbors, your friends when all they have done is just be? How do you tell them to avoid the dangers of this world when all they have done is BE? Do I tell my son not to walk anywhere alone because it’s too dangerous? Then I consent to him walking with someone else and thus feeding the fear of two or more Black males equating to a mob; the presumption that certainly they must be up to no good.
Do I tell him that although his friends–white and black alike–can wear a hoodie or a doo-rag outside the house, it’s just too dangerous for him to do so? Because the culture of fear in this country says these things are the uniform of a gang member and a thug, hence a criminal. Do I tell my son that if he wears a suit and tie he will be insulated from danger?
Do I tell him that if he doesn’t put his hands in his pockets then he’ll be safer? That if he walks around publicly in the position of an open frisk then he will not be a threat to anyone…ever?
Maybe I should tell him that no matter how many times he is pulled over for “suspicion,” detained for “cause,” or questioned for “fitting the profile,” he is not allowed to fear for his own safety. Because he is always thought to be the criminal, the criminal-in-training, or the criminal-we-just-haven’t-caught-yet, he is not permitted to demonstrate any emotion, to give even the slightest hint of defending himself or to act as though the presumptions are anything other than completely justified.
Or do I tell him the truth. The truth is that the world is unfair. But that’s not new information. I’ve always told him that. Now, I have to tell him that walking along minding his own business clearly makes him an even bigger threat. I have to remind him that he can be stalked and preyed upon and that no one may come to his defense. I have to remind him that the skin he was given by God is both a blessing and a curse.
But I will do what every parent in this situation will do: reinforce to my son how important his life is. I will remind him that he is a descendant of royalty, both in the natural world and the spiritual one. I will expect him to be more than the world around him says he is. I will encourage him to be ready when called upon to be the example for those who harbor fear and presumption because of his skin. And I will embrace him, and the other brothers who look like him, when they are again reminded that the world is a dangerous place. And to the ones in open rebellion who are hastening the end of their own lives: I’ll remind and encourage that WE need THEM to stop helping the world believe the lie that says he is an animal and fit only for hunting.
Staff Writer; DesJean Jones