Sunday, March 26, 2017


Online Dating Is That DEAL!

January 14, 2013 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Unlike most things that have evolved with technology “online dating” is a concept that’s still treated like a scene from the 1976’s horror flick “Carrie”. If your friends find out you met him online – “they’re all gonna laugh at you.” If you need to Google “Carrie” please stop reading this article right . . . now. While online dating is becoming more main stream there are still those who for some reason believe that meeting someone via the computer isn’t normal. Yet this same person will disclose all of their personal business via updates to their 5k FB friends and only really know 102 of them. OK.

I’ve read a ton of articles that play on the “inside the box” theory about who dates online. You know “inside the box” compared to “outside the box” (which really makes no sense either but indulge me for a minute). Your “in the box” people are usually those described by the “outside the box” people as follows: unattractive, over weight, introverted, weird, shy and lonely. I know the internet has its more than fair share of the previously described folk but there are some very fabulous people (clearing my throat) that have used online dating services, fallen in love and even married their online connection. So let’s dispel the myth that only losers find other losers online.

I’ve always been amazed by the judgmental people that mock online romances yet rave about the person they met at the club or bar. Really? You didn’t meet him/her at the “We Are Curing Cancer Conference” so what’s the big whoop? The funniest article I’ve yet to read about online dating ended with the following statement “I may not be dating but at least I’m not dating these types of men”. Now grant it the men she was referring to had details in their profiles that were just down right crass. “Only looking to hook up”, “I’m recovering but I’m in a better place” and my all time favorite “I’m thinking about divorcing my wife so I figured I should see what’s out here”. These were real profiles people.

I even heard with my own two ears this woman’s account of how she was used and cheated on by someone she met online. Long story short, they met online, got acquainted and decided to meet in person. Here’s the stupidity in the story. She was the financier of everything. She flew him out too see her. HeOnlineDating stayed at her place and she bank rolled their entire weekend together (Scooby Doo sound). I was sad that another woman had been played (not really). Then I thought for a second – WAITTTTT A MINUTE! I’VE HEARD STORY THIS BEFORE! Hmmm, you met a guy and he turned out to not be worth a damn. Then I remembered when I heard this story! All my life – SAT DOWN SOME WHERE. Just because someone has access to the internet it doesn’t make then asshole proof. Duh. My point is no matter how you meet someone you have to do your homework on them. If you’re considering dating online be sure to protect yourself. Match.com offers some really great advice for newbie’s http://www.match.com/help/safetytips.aspx).

The reason why I absolutely love online dating is because it’s a money saver for both men and women. Men don’t have to waste money trying to impress women they aren’t even sure are worth it. Wining and dining can add up. If the average date cost a man lets say $200. Dinner at a nice restaurant, the flowers he brings you (if he has any class), the gas he burned picking you up or meeting you there and maybe some other event during the evening if there was time. Sorry ladies but I’m with the fellas on this one. Three dates a month can easily cost a man $600. “Blowing Money Fast” is only a reality in make believe rap songs. So a dude is out of $200 per date just to find out if he wants to take a woman out again. I’m sorry but you’re no B and he’s not J. Let’s be a little more realistic about what a date is suppose to be and come down off the high horse it took you so long to climb onto. I know that’s difficult for some of you to do because you’re just so hot right? (LMAO).

For women there is also money invested but it’s on presentation. Take me for example, when I’m going on a first date I like to impress the man that has shown me he is interested in getting to know me. Add to the fact that I’m uber girly and you’ve got a woman that dedicates half a day to get ready. So hair, mani/pedi, brows and an appointment at the MAC counter is standard. Add the 2 hours it will take me to put it all together and there you have it. Time is money please believe me. Factor in how many frogs a girl must kiss in order to find her prince and you’ve got some major work being put in; all to determine if I want to go out with him again. That’s that ish I don’t like. It’s tiring and the returns on my investments haven’t always been optimum.

Dating online allows you to put your best foot (along with your best pics) forward. It’s actually more engaging than meeting someone in the traditional manner. There is no audience so performances in the club or at the bar are unnecessary. Put your swag away and develop a personality. All of the information is laid out for you to read. Sure people lie but then again what’s new? Pay a modest fee and there you have it. Hundreds of men (in my case) at your fingertips that have the opportunity to read your profile, drool over your pics and decide if they want to send you a message based on those two factors. I used to love checking my inbox. I felt like Clarence Carter singing “I Be Strokin”, my ego that is. At one point I literally had 158 messages from unique users on this one site I used.

Has my online search for love been easy – not really. I faced the same challenges I would have I met someone the old fashioned way but the difference this time around is I didn’t have to leave the comfort of my PJ’s and living room to hold a conversation. If the guy wasn’t my type it was easy to keep it moving. Of course you’re asking “so have you met anyone?’. Of course I have. That’s why online dating is that deal! If you want to be in a relationship and are having a difficult time meeting someone because of your work schedule and you’re simply a little too old to be on the scene I suggest you give it a shot. Twitter and FB flirting doesn’t count. You need to be proactively seeking out what you want. Plus paying for something usually puts a little spark in your involvement. Nothing in this life just happens so leeeeee-goooo! Its 2013, time to take advantage of the tools available.

Statistics show that 1 out of 4 couples met online and the number is still on the rise. Online dating is second in line only to meeting someone through friends or family.(http://christiehartman.com/blog/online-dating/some-interesting-statistics-on-online-dating/) Now ladies the only down side is that the numbers are stacked in favor of the men but what’s new? There are more female users on dating sites because men don’t typically like to fill out the long questionnaires associated with their profile.

Don’t underestimate the power of technology and love. It can be a beautiful thing people. You may as well get a jump on it. It’ll be as standard as FB before you know it.

Staff Writer; Nikki Woods

Also connect with this talented sista via Facebook; NikkIsTruth and Twitter; NikkiThoughts.

Can also visit her online at; http://theaffirmedtruth.blogspot.com

 


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Comments

5 Responses to “Online Dating Is That DEAL!”
  1. xOdemon says:

    This type of dating does not favor men. It favors women. There are, 8 guys to every one female. It sux really.

  2. E says:

    I’m not for online dating, but I’m not against it either. I wouldn’t judge someone because they met online, I’m just always afraid they will get hurt. Because online, especially the social networks that aren’t actually for online dating, people can do or be anything. I don’t want someone I know to get excited and expect something that the other person really is just messing around with. But I do agree, online dating would save bunches of time, and when people do find their match, it’s great and I’m happy for them.

  3. KENCY says:

    Nice piece, I enjoyed reading it! I met my BF online and we are now engaged and have a nine-month beautiful baby girl. Funny thing is, I was one of those individuals who believed that meeting someone online was not normal. In fact, I was a little disgusted at the idea when an ex-boyfriend mentioned that I try online dating. Long story short, I am happy I did!

    PS: Want to read the long story, see my website:http://peoplearetalking.webs.com/apps/blog/show/19165553-miss-independent

  4. Jazzie Dixson says:

    I loved the article, Nikki! I was recently commenting to a friend who has limited access to meeting new people that she should consider it–just to broaden her horizons. I know a number of people–men and women–who enjoy the dimension it brings to allowing them to actually have a social life. Are there dangers? Of course, but no greater than the dangers that already exist when meeting anyone outside your front door. Good stuff!

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  1. […] Online Dating Is That DEAL! I know the internet has its more than fair share of the previously described folk but there are some very fabulous people (clearing my throat) that have used online dating services, fallen in love and even married their online connection. So let's … Read more on ThyBlackMan […]



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