4 Basic Ways to Make Him Happy. : ThyBlackMan

Thursday, June 21, 2018

4 Basic Ways to Make Him Happy.

December 18, 2012 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Last week I wrote an article titled “There Are Two Reasons He Cheats”. Before you go assuming the post is all about male bashing, it is not. I suggest reading it. Within that article I listed “4 F’s” ladies must embrace in order to accommodate the most basic of their man’s needs and make him ratchet proof once he enters the jungle also known as the world. I’ve been asked to expound on the “4F’s” so here we go.

The firstF” – Feed Him. Ladies feeding your man means more than a dinner plate (although that is a must so get your arse in the kitchen, turn on the © Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporation stove and get it in). Feeding your man means understanding what makes HIM happy, not what YOU think makes him happy. A romantic dinner may do it for you but he could give a damn about that. Find out what he likes – ASK HIM and listen to what it is he wants. Feeding his desire and ability to be accountable for his actions is also key; no man wants a push-over. Men want a partner. Feeding his ego will also be essential. He also needs to feel appreciated. Be sure to thank him (again thank him based on his standards not yours).

The second “F” – **** Him. I don’t know how a woman allows her man in this day and age to walk around without being sexually satisfied. Did you know there are thousands of apps for pornography? And they’re free (wont detect that on the credit card statement). Did you know a text message from an ex saying “Hey, I was just thinking about you” or a smile from the woman in front of him at the coffee house is enough to turn your world as you know it upside down??? All because you won’t do your freakin’ job? A M A Z I N G!! Let me make it plain – SEX IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR MAN. Why it seems to be so important? I don’t know why and I don’t care (I’m not a man). What I do know and understand is they need it like Pookie in New Jack need that hit. In the morning. In the afternoon. At night. In the car.  In the kitchen. Because he loves you.

During half time (don’t be stupid and interrupt the game) or just because he wants to hit right quick. And please know oral is included in E V E R Y scenario above. For some men sex without oral is to us what walking through Niemans is to get to Macy’s. Who does that? If you need help get a book (there are plenty), take a lesson, ask your girls but by all means, for the love of your relationship – get it done (and not haphazardly) but with some enthusiasm. He wants to know you care and nothing says that like effort and enthusiasm!

The thirdF” – Be Faithful to Him. One thing that tares a man down quicker than anything is finding out that his woman has given herself emotionally and most importantly (sexually) to another man. It makes him feel inadequate, like a punk, like he can’t compete and ultimately like he wasn’t worthy of you loving him. A woman that is faithful to her man can lead him to do great things like become the POTUS. Had FLOTUS ever cheated the Republicans would have found out by now and paid quadruple what the Democratic Party would have paid the woman to tell her story. Every man wants that. I don’t care what his past in, what his boys said or hell what he’s said – every man wants to be loved, respected and committed to by someone other than his momma.

For women this means no texting, no lunch dates, no FB inbox conversations, no communicating through your girls and no weekend trips without him. Seems controlling but how would you feel if he were doing any of the previously mentioned. Ladies we have to stop acting like the reason we get bent over by some dude who doesn’t love us some how trumps the ratchet broad that is willing to cheat with our man knowing he’s in a relationship. Some how because we do what we do out of emotion it seems to be justifiable. You’re still bent over – no matter the reason. Emotional or not.

 The fourth “F” – stFu Sometimes. I had the pleasure of being witness to the following.  A man walks into a restaurant, greets his significant other by kissing her. Takes a seat and that was the extent of his entire involvement during the evening. I mean this chic would not shut up. Everything was about her – her job, her boss, her broken heel, her meetings, and her lunch. WTF??? This man spoke twice. “Hello” and “can I get a refill“. And that was directed at the server. I’ll say it like this – Men are headlines. Women are fine print. They don’t need or WANT details. Now one thing for sure is that we can’t turn off how “we” as women are but we can filter.

Make sure you ask how he is and ask with the intent of listening and engaging him. Nothing screams selfishness faster than a woman who can’t listen and dialogue. The Beginners Guide to Learning How to STFU:

1.) Very little talking during the game unless it’s about the game,

2.) Don’t attack him as soon as he walks through the door (at least not with words),

3.) Ask a question? Expect an answer not a story and

4.) Less is more and that includes hearing your mouth (all the time).

The “4 F’s” go hand in hand; can’t have one without the other. Again, there is no guarantee he won’t have an indiscretion because the actions of another can’t be controlled; but you can limit the time he will spend entertaining a broads advances if the above is implemented. There are just some things you have to be willing to do in order to satisfy your man. In return, he’ll notice and what you desire will (and should) be reciprocated.

Staff Writer; Nikki Woods

Also connect with this talented sista via Facebook; NikkIsTruth and Twitter; NikkiThoughts.

Can also visit her online at; http://theaffirmedtruth.blogspot.com



7 Responses to “4 Basic Ways to Make Him Happy.”
  1. TK says:

    These 4 F’s are not something that one should do only for a man, or because your partner happens to be a man. Both women and men like to be fed (why can’t a couple make dinner together most of the times? Must one person consistently prepare supper for the other on a constant basis?); both women and men “need” to have sex (unless they are asexual, in which there’s nothing wrong with that); both women and men need faithful partners (unless the relationship is mutually open/polyamorous); and both women and men need to “STFU” sometimes and allow their significant other the chance to speak and express themselves.

  2. As a male, I find this article interesting and would like to offer a possible 5th ‘F’ that will help couples understand the missing link. F = Faith as in something bigger than the two of you. I wish the word ‘Respect’ started with an ‘F’ because that would be another one. Thanks again for taking time to share your perspective. Happy New Year. Let me know what you think about this woman and how she gets her man in ‘Tiffany at Breakfast’, a short film I produced: http://vimeo.com/6569795

    Art Thomas, CEO

  3. Martin O. Clark says:

    I want to thank you very much for this article. Now I dont seem like such a “PIG” when I tell my lady friends and/or ex’s basically the same stuff. I hear crap like “your just trying to get us to give guys oral and blah, blah, blah”,or “you just dont want to talk to us during your stupid ball games”. It goes on and on, not only do they get to see this from someone elses point of view but from a females point of view. That makes it even more special. I just want to say, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!

  4. Nikki Woods says:

    @Colin – thank you for your comment. The reason that I mentioned being “faithful” from am emotional perspective is because most women believe that men are capable of “not feeling”. From 1st grade and beyond men are taught to suppress their emotions. i.e. men don’t cry. It has been my own experience that when you realize that a man is made up emotions just as we (women) are we do a much better job of understanding the impact of infidelity. Even if the offense if less aggregious than cheating understanding that men have emotions (that are displayed differently from ours)goes a long way. It goes without saying that if you are in a relationship cheating shouldn’t be an option. “Relationships aren’t test – there’s no need for cheating” (read that quote some where)

  5. Colin says:

    The 3rd F,

    Women MUST be faithful not for our feelings; that’s a female trait. Women must be faithful because the moment the man finds out you have an affair he’ll never marry you, nor should he! Why would he? To get divorced and give you the house and all the stuff plus 33% of his net until you finally get married again.

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