(ThyBlackMan.com) In a period of seven days two 25 year-old NFL players have senselessly lost their lives. Last week Jovan Belcher died in an unforgettable violent act of murder-suicide. Then on Saturday morning at 2:21 Jerry Brown died in a violent automobile accident. Brown, a practice squad player for the Dallas Cowboys, was a victim of a poor decision made by Justin Brent, who too plays for the Cowboys.
Last week I penned an article “Lessons from Jovan Belcher,” which discussed the lessons that could be pulled from his death. This week I’ll focus on three lessons that can be gleaned from the death of Brown.
Believe it when someone shows you who they are!
It was the famed author and poetess Maya Angelou who once said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Unfortunately Brown never heard this advice or failed to heed to it. Brown and Brent were 
teammates at the University of Illinois. It was in February of 2009 when Brent, also Brown’s roommate, was arrested and charged with driving under the influence. Brent pleaded guilty; was sentenced to 60 days in jail (stayed just 30 days), two years of probation, 200 hours of community service and fined approximately $2,000. It’s not clear if that was Brent’s first alcohol related incident, nevertheless it was unambiguous evidence of Brent’s propensity to drink. On that occasion Brent showed Brown who he was; unfortunately he didn’t believe Brent. In life when folk reveal themselves to you – heed those warning signals rather than discount them.
Design your life or someone else will design it for you!
In my work with families it’s not uncommon for them, when explaining their dilemma, to avoid accepting any responsibility for their quandary; it’s somehow someone else’s fault. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that an intoxicated Brent was responsible for Brown’s death. However we can’t exonerate Brown’s actions – he chose to ride with Brent. Placing your safety in the hands of someone whom will foolishly disregard theirs puts you directly in the path of danger and that makes you an accessory to the incident.
Brown failed to be the designer of his life and instead left the design up to Brent. Brown could have called a cab or even had a car service escort them for the evening if they knew they would be drinking. Maybe the NFL’s Player’s Union will ask the league to re-instate the recently disbanded “Safe Rides” program – but I digress. While I’ll admit no one can say for sure that Brown would have arrived home safely had he opted for one of those choices, I can boldly say putting his life in the hand of an experienced, sober driver trumps putting it in the hands of a buzzed friend! Brown made the decision to ride with Brent; remember in life you make your decisions, and then your decisions make you.
True friends hold friends accountable!
Is it possible that Brown could still be alive if he had held Brent accountable for his drinking? I’m not suggesting that Brown could have stopped his boy from the acquisition of his alcohol consumption, but I am presupposing that supporting Brent’s destructive habit, by not speaking against it, could have in the long run served as a contributing factor in Brown’s death. An authentic friend will tell a friend what they need to hear (stop drinking dude), not what they want to hear or hear nothing at all. And if that friend chooses to sever ties because they don’t like you challenging their questionable actions – you then know that you were not really friends – just close acquaintances. While many folks embrace the spirit that you can’t judge a man – and you can’t – God’s word mandates of his disciples the following action:
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ,” Galatians 6:1-2.
If you are a friend it is your responsibility to hold him/her accountable and they are to do likewise to you. Earlier I mentioned the disbanded “Safe Rides” program initiated to prevent tragic incidents like Brown’s from occurring. The program was discontinued because the player’s union feared the league was using the program to spy on players. This is a first cousin to the avoidance of accountability.
Brown is now accountable; from his jail cell he said, “I am devastated and filled with grief. Filled with grief for the loss of my close friend and teammate.” Indeed I believe he is, however I just ponder how different life could be for both he and Brown if accountability would have ruled over acceptance.
Staff Writer; Reginald Williams
For more articles on Relationships visit Rule Your Wife and for Marriage Counseling; Marriage Nectar.
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