Being the other woman.
December 12, 2012 by Staff
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns
(ThyBlackMan.com) First let me start off by saying this a fictional writing and has nothing to do with the actual writer herself.
I hated her, despised her thought she was the worse woman on this earth until one day I realized that my own arc enemy had become me. Now don’t get me wrong sleeping with, laying with or any kind of copulation with someone else’s man is just wrong. But what if your heart, body and soul are conflicting with 
knowing and doing the right thing? Now we all know that being the other woman is a challenge almost a downright battle between you, him and her. I can say honestly that as a wife I might just kill the b**ch who thinks she can come and steal my husband, who does she think she is throwing her femininity at my man really?
Could she do it if he didn’t let her and how can you steal something that’s not up for grabs? Now here I am maybe I knew she existed maybe I didn’t all I know is that what I am feeling is real and simply put, I got caught up. Is it wrong yes, but I’m loving him and at the moment he is loving me and that’s all that matters. Sometimes we can’t help who we fall in love with or even the outcome of those feelings. Most of these other women never become the main one so to speak until they have fought and fought or the wife simply gives up and he becomes yours by default.
In the cases where the wife doesn’t give up and you see them in public and you as the chick on the side have to bow your head in shame because your either embarrassed or don’t know how to keep those damn feelings in check. You know that you feel a certain kind of a way because to you he is your man but to her he is her husband. Your friends tell you leave him alone but it’s like telling a bee to stop making honey you just can’t! You are willing to accept her leftovers just so you can have a meal, does it make you a part time lover or a part time fool?
Feelings, emotions and desires can play a trick on us making you believe that ignoring what you already know is not a bad thing but it is, I know that he is never going to take me serious and to her I will always be second. What a number second. We always want to come in first place so why settle for being number two? Besides the entire math and the downright common sense of it if he cheated on her what makes you any different?
You believe anything because deep down inside you are looking for something and yes, while you are doing it the feeling of pleasure is running through your body but you know in the back of your mind it’s oh so wrong. We can make a decision in this case stay either stay or leave it alone, but remember to take a serious look within yourself to see why you would choose to be in a race for a man’s affection when you can find your own. In the end and believe me it’s true you never win, you are forever going to be angry; you are forever going to be envious, you will forever be bitter and you will always the other woman..
And these are just thoughts from a sista….
Staff Writer; Nicole C.
Also connect with this sister through Facebook; Nicole C.
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Being the other woman is never worth it. You are his cake, not his long term investment. He can get another cake, and another and another….
What garbage! All men aren’t predators and all men don’t think with their little wee-wees. And the truth of the matter is, some of you do leave. There are plenty of women sitting in my chruch pews with husbands that left them for other women to attest to that. And no, they didn’t come back.
What you’re really saying to the female readers are men have uncontrollable sexual appetites and its not their fault they cheat, so don’t leave us when you catch us cheating!
Mack,
What you’ve said is so true. I often tell sisters, if you want to be assured of ending up with a man you can’t trust, get involved with a brother who has no interests or goals – and when I say interests and goals, I’m not talking about trying to become a rap star.
All men have a need to define their manhood. So like Mack pointed out, mature men define their manhood through the pride they take in raising their families and moving towards achieving the goals they’ve set in life. But if you have a brother who sees being cool and hangin’ with his “dawgs” as the purpose of life, the only way left to define his manhood is through sexual conquests.
My mother used to have a saying – “Be careful where you meet your mate, because that’s where they’ll be behind your back.” So if you met your mate hangin’ in a club, drippin’ in bling, and hittin’ on women . . .
…what you deserve.
@ Eric: You’re not snitching on me bruh, because the kind of man you just described is one who strongly lacks integrity. A ‘wee-wee’ doesn’t make the man: INTEGRITY does. Only men without a foundation of manhood make tapping skins his prime priority. Hence why so many sisters are sick and tired with dealing with black men: they think we all fit the paradigm you described.
I’m no idealist; I’m a realist. When a guy is young, skins are his priority. Just had a discussion with a brother over this very subject earlier. But as he matures, he grows out of that mindset because BILLS need to be paid! Skins take a backseat to life. If you’re a grown ass man, still running around on a poon hunt, you are a retard. Seriously. Because somewhere along the line your development into manhood has been retarded. You suffer from a serious case of arrested development. So ladies, yes: peep game. But learn quickly to differentiate between a thirsty retard and a man whose on his grown man tip.
One more thing: if you meet a man who’s married, and start a sexual relationship with him, please don’t expect any sympathy from me when you get your heart broke…or your nose. You get EXACTLY
Thanks for the honesty
The woman in question is setting herself up for pain. First, men – ALL MEN – sexual predators by nature. God made us that way in order to insure the perpetuation of the species. So from the moment we first found out that our little wee-wees are good for something other than peeing, we’ve been on the prowl to get every piece we can. Now don’t get me wrong, there are men who have managed to control their predatory nature, but they are very rare, and men of the very highest character – and even they can slip if they run into a woman with a long enough booty.
So chances are, the man loves his wife, wouldn’t think of leaving her, and your friend is just another piece on the side – and most probably, one of others – and possibly, many others.
And yes, I sure he’s told your friend, with tears streaming from his eyes, that he loves her, and he wish that he had met her first. But that ain’t nothing but game. Because like I warned my daughter when she was a teenager, you can take the most illiterate man on Earth, but when it comes to trying to get a piece, poetic verse will flow from his tongue like Shakespeare. So a good rule of thumb when dealing with a man is, pay no attention to what he says; always watch what he does – and in your friends case, I can assure you, that as soon as he’s had an orgasm, the very first thought that crosses his mind is, “How am I gonna get the hell out of here.”
So sister, there you have it. Your friend is not only being disloyal to another sister, but she’s allowing herself to be used.
Sorry for being such a snitch, brothers. But it’s in the best interest of the community.