How To Get A Man To Marry You. : ThyBlackMan

Wednesday, December 13, 2017


How To Get A Man To Marry You.

October 29, 2012 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Let me help you out for a minute ladies. Do you want to know how to get a man to marry you?

It’s simple: you make yourself indispensable to that man’s life. Make his life better by your presence.

Have a pleasant disposition.

Be loyal.

Be cooperative, not contrary. It’s inevitable that sometimes you’ll have a difference of opinion. That’s natural. But to constantly be at odds with a man over every little thing is not normal. That speaks of you having control issues. And for any man seeking a wife, that’s a problem not worth investing in.

Be willing to be submissive, not weak. Let him lead. You really don’t want a man who needs to be led by his woman, do you? Submission is not weakness. Far from it. It’s actually the stronger position! But only a woman of wisdom will understand this. Hence why Proverbs 31 (Bible chapter) makes it  seem  like a virtuous woman is so hard to find. She’s a rare treasure indeed.

Trust him. Not just to be a faithful guy, but trust his judgment and decisions also.

Learn how to cook

Work out. Often.

Be sexually adventurous

Get help for your ‘daddy’ issues.

Drop the belligerent attitude.

Be willing to put the needs of your dude above your own. That’s called nurturing. If you have a good dude he will gladly reciprocate.

Learn your man. It surprises me how many women claim to be so unselfish and giving, yet they never take the time to really truly get to know their man. Women like this are more selfish than they’re even aware.

You also need to learn the nature of men in general. So often I hear women complaining about their man. And when I hear what the complaint is about, it’s usually something that comes from her simply not understanding the nature of men. Men speak in Menglish. We don’t speak in Feminese.

Be realistic about your self-worth. Though it’s good to have a healthy self-esteem, you have to be realistic about what you bring to the table in any relationship. You can’t expect to attract an above average brother if you’re just an average woman. Like attracts like in the world of physics. It works that way in relationships also.

If you make $90K in income, but you’re overweight and have an unpleasant attitude, why do you think you deserve a high income brother who’ll love you and treat you right? Brothers on the rise have high standards too. Your high standards may include a high income. His high standards most likely will include high physical beauty. So if you’re gonna aim for the stars, at least be up in orbit yourself!

And while we’re talking about looks, understand that your idea of a good looking woman is probably not shared by most men. Remember this simple order of how a man sees feminine beauty: Face, tits, ass, legs. I’ll say it again: face, tits, ass, legs. FTAL as an acronym if you need it. And face only comes first if we’re actually approaching you from the front. Otherwise it’s ass, legs, face and tits.

Most broke men prefer chubby chicks, not so much as an actual preference, but because being chubby knocks her down a notch or two in his eyes. It somehow makes his financial bustedness not so bad. (Yes, I create words for a hobby, so sue me.)

Chubby chicks also attract guys looking for a quick and easy lay. Most guys would agree that the big girls seem less resistant to being placed into jump-off status. Theres a perception among us guys that the tighter a woman’s body is, the more you have to bring your A-game to get her. The same doesn’t hold true for the bigger out of shape girls. Again: this might not be true in actuality, but its a perceived truth by most men. And when you’re dealing with us men, you have to relate to us according to our truth.

Not by any means an exhaustive list, but this should be enough to get you started.

Take note that nowhere in this brief synopsis did I mention you having the bomb-diggity poondah. Sexually adventurous, yes. But sex is secondary. It’s not hardly the most important element, so ladies quit thinking you can get a man to marry you by screwing him into submission. That rarely ever happens. 

Staff Writer; Mack Major ||

One may connect with this talented writer also through Twitter; NewUrbanView and Facebook; FlipTheGame.

 


Comments

29 Responses to “How To Get A Man To Marry You.”
  1. Superszdego says:

    Is the title asking how to be slave Again???? I can’t… I have a black husband and my mentor reads the opposite.

  2. F.Michael says:

    Great Points:

    1. Wow‘Black men don’t like big women: BROKE men like big women!’ (SOUND THE ALARM)

    2. And I have to agree 100%. Name me ONE brother who has serious money that has a big girl on his arm, who’s not rich herself. I’ll wait…(Touchdown!!!)

    3. Most broke men prefer chubby chicks, not so much as an actual preference, but because being chubby knocks her down a notch or two in his eyes. It somehow makes his financial bustedness not so bad.

    4.Be realistic about your self-worth. Though it’s good to have a healthy self-esteem, you have to be realistic about what you bring to the table in any relationship. You can’t expect to attract an above average brother if you’re just an average woman. Like attracts like in the world of physics. It works that way in relationships also. (GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL in my World Cup Voice).
    5. It is simple: f— him, feed him and be his friend!

  3. Mr Sea Moregan says:

    As Blackmen dealing with Blackwomen of us need to own the fact we have failed our sisters in 3 major areas

    1) Failed to be protectors! We have not protected our women enough from the ravages of the world going all the way back to slavery, We let people own us and our women and stood by and did not enough! No matter how this was accomplished we need to own the fact there will be fallout within the race as the stronger gender allowed them to be treated in such a manner.

    2) Women raising our sons and daughters alone. I care not for the statistics of other races on single parenthood or how we stack up against them.. what concerns is the effect on our people as a whole, we can all point to a man who has 2 or 3+ kids and has no spent nor “time or dime” in raising them! So the Blackwoman had to become the breadwinner and disciplinarian and to both son and daughter. Which to participant and witness both will breed a unhealthy suspicion from daughters in blackmen and a ease of execution for next generation in young blackmales (I.e women are ok to raise children alone, I need not assist) in a This struggle has become too common and acceptable with us as a people.

    3) Abandonment and Degradation, The Blackmans eagerness to date and marry outside his race for whatever reason has is a heavy blow to the blackwoman (as if 1&2 were not bad enough) this provides a conscious of subconscious reminder that the men of their race deem them not good enough or less that women of other races. And for those who do date other races to sight the reason is blackwomen this and blackwomen add insult to injury.

    We have to own these issues brothers! As 90% of all the complaint’s we have against black women are born of the way we have allowed our brothers to treat them without correction!

  4. Ramses says:

    Lol…these responses kill me. Mack I love you Bro. They can’t stand me either but i love it!!!! Lol.. Let’s be clear on one thing: no matter a man’s culture, he will always gravitate toward a woman who is physically appealing and has a pleasant disposition. Always. You got brawds on here talking that strong black woman, prideful, boasting shit but be single as a dollar bill!! Lol!! Listen women, it’s obvious you have not been taught how to appeal to Men because most of you have so many disastrous results with men, Oprah could have a network just devoted to your experiences. It’s very simple. This is Men in a nutshell: A brewsky (beer) from the fridge, a plate of nachos, and watching the football game, and you riding him like a pony. Simple. What is so freaking hard about that? Lol!!! You’ll make it so hard on yourselves. I got tired of hearing black chicks in college ranting about this and that when the reality was, most of them did not know the basics of relating to men. I have had to teach women it’s not ok to talk to men disrespectfully. I have tried to warn them against being loose as a goose. I have tried to teach them you will get farther with a man being sweet to him than with the bitter approach. However most don’t listen. Majority of women in the world have success with their men because they understand basic math. If I don’t treat him well, some other woman will get him. It’s simple, no matter what race you go to. Now in terms of looks, I mean this is a no-brainer. Some men like certain looks. Why? because men like to procreate with something they feel will give them healthy offspring (subconsciously). I like an hourglass woman. Doesn’t have to be 110, but i don’t want her 180 either. Matter fact, a woman should not weigh more than her man period. All that thick shit is out the door. That is the most overused term by black women outside of “independence.” I don’t know if you’re paying attention but Men (not these ponk ass dudes you’ll love so much like tyrone) are not really accepting these subpar black women. And it’s funny how attractive black women (inside and out) allow themselves to be sucked in an argument about beauty when all black women don’t look the same. I’ve seen some hideous looking black women who I would never take a first look at let alone a second. All black women are not physically attractive. let’s just establish that right from the door. If you give me a black woman with spongebob square pants and give me a white girl with that apple bottom, I’m going with the white girl, who genetically, is more black than the black girl. This solidarity that black women like to act as if it exists is bullshit and you’ll know it. If it’s a fine man, and he chooses one of you over your girlfriend, most of you will get mad. Why? Because you lost the competition that’s why and women, especially black women are competitive with each other, even though they front like they aren’t. This is not race at all: it’s genetics. Some black women lack the physical specs black men like (booty) which has caused brothers to seek women elsewhere (asia, south america, middle east) who still have these attributes. See why you all sit here trying to belittle Mack’s picture, and try to poke holes in his argument with your bullshit education you received from college, you need to be trying to figure out why black women are so unsuccessful with black men nowadays. If black women are so appealing, why aren’t they successful with their men? I have to give kudos to Jennifer because even though we had our differences on here, she does have a black man as a husband. She obviously figured something out. She is one of the few black women on here who seem to have success with a brother. What about the rest of you all? Can you say the same? I doubt it. Part of Jennifer’s success as a woman (not just a black woman) is the fact that she possesses the physical attributes her man likes. I took a Zumba class Saturday (if you haven’t taken one do it men and women) where most of the black women were obese and some morbidly so. While the latinas and asian girls and white girls at least had slim frames. You black women think when we choose to be with different ethnic groups is because we hate black women when the reality is, although some of that might be true and I can’t fault brothers if they feel that way, the real reason is you have poor genetics. You have a poor diet that contributes to you having a poor womb and poor body disposition and who wants to put their seeds in a woman that can have their kid come out retarded? Your arguments are typically emotional, lacking scientific rational. When penis goes into vagina, a scientific act takes place every time. Take heed to Jennifer’s words:

    You bring up a good point that many don’t want to acknowledge. You referenced what I once thought was trivial, physical appearance. I do well with men (especially black men) I’m light skinned, thick with a great face and REAL long hair. I am fairly sought after. Women like me are sought after, wars have been fought over beautiful women. There is power in being a beautiful woman, I work on my beauty and physic for that same reason.

    When a woman is a good woman like myself, beautiful, sweet, nurturing and old fashion (I treat my man like a king) you have some nice pickings out in the world. I realize my value and expect the best from my man.

    Whether you are light skin or dark skin, if your attraction level is high, it increases the opportunities of you being approached. If not, then not so much. We don’t see your whack personalties first: we see your booty first. Or lack thereof. However, even some women who aren’t the most attractive get married because they have wonderful personalities. But overall, we like physically attractive women. It’s a damn shame we have to explain this to you. Trsut me, I’ve tried to deal with women physically not as attractive as I would want them and that was the worse, especially when a woman walks by that fits your physical profile. It’s torture. See some of us black men trade off. We figure pretty girls have nasty attitudes and ugly ones have nicer personalties. Shiiiiiit!!! Lol!! I won’t ever buy into that hogwash. Some of these brawds be the most arrogant females you ever see. Me, as a Man, I desire beauty, booty, and personality. In that order because that’s the order i receive it in. Black women hate on other black women who they feel are more attractive than they are. That’s how you know it’s not about race. They hate because they know they can’t compete. Am I right Jennifer? In junior high and high school these ugly black chicks would terrorize attractive girls, a lot of times those who were light skin, because they felt they were more attractive than they were. Hey Mack, I tell them to get off of race. It’s not real. You take the black off of “black woman” and just look at her as woman, then her physical attribute speak, not her race. I remember a few years back, when I met this Puerto Rican chick at Perimeter mall in Dunwoody,GA. She was a janitor. You think that stopped me from approaching her? Hell no!! WHy? Because she was finer than a mofo. Nice thick juicy lips like I like. Long flowing dark hair like i like in latina women and a nice looking freaknik booty on her. Much to my chagrin she was married when I asked her in spanish did she have a boyfriend. But she had the specs I liked. Her occupation didn’t matter at all and had she not been married, it would have been on which I could tell by her response. You can put a booty on an eskimo and trust me, a black man will be in that igloo lighting a fire in that ass!! Lol. I see beautiful white women with asses, ethiopian women with asses, colombian women with asses etc. And what makes these women attractive the most is the fact they have culture. When you put beauty, traditional women, and culture together it equals family. I advise black women to shut their mouths, get off their phones (sexting each other pics of dicks which is such a hoe act), pick up a book on foreign culture and traditional women, and then come back to us and try to have an adult conversation. Right now, most of you are not educated enough to speak on the notion of having men marry you because you don’t know anything outside your dead american culture. Like Trouble T Roy said “Get A Grip.”

  5. Creating a successful and loving marriage between you and you is the way to receive a complimentary partner. No one’s opinion of you can have an affect or impact on you if you don’t believe it’s true. If you know without a doubt that you will one day be married, nothing stated in this article should offend you nor keeping you from attracting it. Just smile and know you are always in control of what you can experience through your thoughts and beliefs.

    Always true,

    Felicia Adeoye
    Advisor of Greatness

  6. How sad that one must validate a womans worth by being a certain size,shape, and have low self-esteem being submissive to (most) black men that have 3-7 different baby momas with all of the family drama. Not a mention of the black mans qualities in order that a woman would and should be submissive and open to accepting his proposal.

    Your synopsis on marriage is clearly defined by indicating a hint of disappointment of women in general by stating a lot of women have harsh personalities. How sad and difficutlt it must have been for you to encounter someone that had to be strong for the children left behind.

    By now you should have come to the conslusion that I am a STRONG BLACK PROUD woman that does not consider myself to be abrasive in any form but can be when needed. There is no time to play games of being someone or something that you are not. Life is not a joke. Different strokes for different folks, and there is someone for everyone.

    Anyone would want to be around someone, man or woman black or white with a pleasant disposition. With that being said. No woman wants a man that wears panties,sleeps around with anything with a pulse, afraid to get his nails chipped, pampers his face with a masque and moisturizers, and certainly must have a job, not live with his mother, sister, wife, brother, or other. What happened to loving a person for who they are?

    Mack Major, your idea of love is truly shallow and has no credibility.

    And always remember. Nothing is speacial about Mack, and Major certainly isn’t major. Change your name, you will likely get one positive response.

    Hopefully, you are the last man to have the cave man mentality. Unbelievable!

  7. Renae says:

    If you read the comment I only talked about chubby cheeks as proof that I could write something based on what I saw at one glance. One side of the story. I saw your face and made an assumption, like you assuming the only reason ANY MALE would want a chubby chic is as follows… I was just pointing out the fact that this article was good until you went into a one glance look at the reasons men date chubby chicks. I think they and everyone should be working on themselves too but lets be real, there are all types of men out there with lots of taste preferences, black men with backbones included.

    I don’t care what you look like, or what your hat looks like, the point is that me saying those things about you makes it known that yes, I don’t know everything there is to know on the subject of your style, persona, likes dislikes, so I shouldn’t be making the comments, I just want you to consider doing the same.

    You have a beautiful gift of a job where you get to put your honest thoughts out there to anyone who wants to absorb. Maybe you should do so being HONEST and RIGHTEOUS at the same time, meaning you don’t assume everyone to be just like you. You just said that “respect is not an option for me” may be you should start to give a bit yourself to be included with your honesty.

    BTW, I think full cherubic faced men are handsome, I have one at home 🙂

  8. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    Somebody with chubby cheeks needs to address that bit, so here I am.

    I have chubby cheeks… but they are not as chubby as they used to be. In my TV spots I am now described as “cherubic,” which is progress… a radiant, beautiful appearance that no longer gives people immediate worries about my health. But eventually I will even have to give up “cherubic.” Reason being: I need to live a long time to accomplish the things God has given me to do. Something has got to give, and since I have determined it isn’t going to be me, the extra weight needs to go. Now, why would I expect a man who wants to accomplish the same kind of things in his life to not have sense enough to take the same factors into account when considering a mate?

    Let’s put it this way, for my fellow large ladies: All of us have areas of our lives that we need to improve. Weight is one of those things that if we don’t think about it in this society, we will easily pack it on — which also means that we will pack ourselves into the grave decades earlier than is necessary. That is a heavy burden for a mate to take on, and I know what I am talking about, since the excellent Black man who loved me more than any other potential mate ever did left here owing to his eating habits at the age of 37. Read it again: he died at age 37, over what he allowed to pass his lips. I still find it unreal… but it helps me to the salad bar and in ordering double veggies instead of starches… and in opting for walking as my main form of commuting in hilly San Francisco… and in re-working crunches and the like into my routine… and in opting for fruit as dessert more often than not, and smaller portions of dessert when not… and learning how to make meals with high nutritional value, high flavor, and much less salt, fat, and sugar…

    I will never look like Kim Kardashian; I have a large frame complete with linebacker-esque shoulders, so if a man really needs that media model look, he’ll have to pass me by. I also know that women large and small have attracted good mates; who God has for me will be mine, somewhere along this journey. But if he arrives in the next few years, I will be able to tell him that if my body is not yet where it needs to be, I’m working on it faithfully and making progress. Given that being overweight is such an issue for both men and women, hey: maybe my future mate and I can work on it together, and delight ourselves with our progress!

    Everybody has something to work on; some of us have chubby cheeks that need to be less chubby, catching a mate notwithstanding. But speaking of mates: nobody wants a mate who they don’t feel enhances their lives, and it is hard to believe someone is going to enhance your life long-term if he or she completely refuses to deal with an issue that will shorten his or her own life. Excess weight is one of those issues, in the same way drug and alcohol abuse are.

    A larger point in closing: if you think you’re absolutely perfect the way you are, you’re deluded, and thus not perfect. All of us have something that we will need grace from our mates to cover; there’s no point in pretending otherwise, much less to flaunt our imperfections as if they were something to be proud of. That latter attitude, around our weight or any other issue that isn’t where it needs to be in our lives, is a complete turn-off.

  9. Mack says:

    @ Renae:

    What difference does it make how I choose to wear MY cap? I can wear that joint upside down if I want, it still wouldn’t make one thing I mentioned in this article irrelevant. As for being chubby: not hardly. Sorry to disappoint but I probably need to put on a few pounds.

    Its funny how so many sisters wonder why black men aren’t marrying or settling down with them. But THEY NEVER ASK BLACK MEN! They’ll ask anybody BUT a black man: ABC, CNN, each other, their gay male friends, even Russian TV. Whenever they have shows addressing this topic, they never have a panel of smart intelligent brothers WHO ARE WILLING TO KEEP IT REAL on there. If you want to know what it takes to get a strong, decent brother with a backbone to marry you, all you have to do is ASK US.

    But be prepared for an honest answer. If you want catering to, there are plenty of those types of blogs and sites out there. I’m about grown man talk and conversation. I don’t mind a difference of opinion at all: but ignorance and insults will get checked hard from the gate.

    Respect is not an option with me.

  10. Jennifer says:

    You bring up a good point that many don’t want to acknowledge. You referenced what I once thought was trivial, physical appearance. I do well with men (especially black men) I’m light skinned, thick with a great face and REAL long hair. I am fairly sought after. Women like me are sought after, wars have been fought over beautiful women. There is power in being a beautiful woman, I work on my beauty and physic for that same reason.

    When a woman is a good woman like myself, beautiful, sweet, nurturing and old fashion (I treat my man like a king) you have some nice pickings out in the world. I realize my value and expect the best from my man.

    Many men are perplexed by the fact that women believe that a good man is a man that can provide for them financially. Since the beginning of man, women have relied on men. In the days of being cave people, if a man didn’t bring back the hunt, a woman and her child(ren) would starve. We are still wired to locate the man most capable at providing a safe and comfortable life for us.

    I accept your statements, I have bomb “tits”. Men, just know that when you expect all that is ideal as far as a women is concerned, I am expecting to have what is considered ideal as far as men are concerned. I need my man strong, intelligent and making a very comfortable living.

    A real man can handle opinions that differ from his own.

  11. Renae says:

    But you missed what I said about the article. I agreed with you in all that wrote, including the fact about keeping yourself fit and being realistic about your self worth. It needs to happen on both sides man and woman. The point of any successful relationship is to have that great competition to the top to your greatest potential and physical shape is one of those things. Keep in your thoughts Mind BODY Soul. And also I don’t need to know the generalities of people and what they like because I don’t put people in ignorant categories like you listed above. And maybe what you wrote is true for a few men, BUT your basic immaturity and self esteem issues threw up all over this Page. Or How does explaining the dating process for chubby women have anything to do with how to get married? You could of kept it at, you should stay fit and be working on it, always, period the end. I mean I could come up with many irrelevant things to say about you in an immature fashion that would all be speculation like you provided above. For example: How would you know why men go after chubby chics unless you hadn’t been there yourself? Look at your picture, what are you doing wearing a cap like that sideways at your apparent age? Also, look at your chubby cheeks, bet ya have a belly to go with it. Or why did you assume since I got mad at the chubby chics line that you automatically assume I’m fat and that is the only reason I would think that I’m looking at rubbish on this screen?

  12. Ramses says:

    @Mack everytime you critique them on any level they always reject it…let them tell it they are perfect even though most of them single….you critique the spiritual component they holla Jesus. You criticize their attitudes and how they are out of shape then it’s because they’re single mothers (which does not denote strength) it’s because fathers around although they are the first to exalt their singleness as a sign of strength! You criticize them for being loose the first thing out their mouth is “well men do it.” Lol. You cannot criticize or critique them in anyway cause they are perfect. They do nothing wrong and it’s all of the males fault they are twisted the way they are. I agree with them they don’t have to compete because most wouldn’t win anyway, that’s why alot of them choose to be gay because deep down they are confessing to other men that they are not worth being with. Show me any group of women on the planet who even when they are physically attractive will choose to waste these attributes on a woman? Most women with sense would use good looks for a man but these chicks are so far gone mentaly, they don’t think they have to step their game up for a Man. They think Men have no standard. It’s shocking to them to hear that they have to come u to our level instead of us going down to their level. If you notice, most women these days are so weak that it;s easier to bring a Man down to their level, rather than rise to his level, because their sense of superiority is based on degrees and jobs, but their spiritual maturity is severely lacking. Most of their accomplishments center around education and work because when it somes to Womanhood, they have no clue just like their previous generation of women in their families didn’t. I always say, any woman can attract a man. But the true test of womanhood is can you keep him around? Most women in the world know and have been taught the art of Womanhood and that’s why they have families. Men can tell them what they need (reverence) and they still wouldn’t be successful because their ideology they live by is about competing with men instead of co-existing with them. And what’s even more sad is the fact that even homosexuals know how to approach marriage. They always refer to each other as life partners. Most of these chicks don’t look at their relationships with men as partnerships. It’s either do as I say nigga or i’ll upgrade even they will not. They don’t want to be successful with men, they want to win an argument. Just look at the responses from these chicks. And just to let you know @Steph if you look at latin culture, their women love Machismo. But we know your liberal education has conditioned you to hate Macho men which is sick because I know as a Man the difference between a Man who over-compensates and who is genuinely a real Man. Your problem is that since you are so used to black men bowing down to you and exalting you, being docile and pliable, you think it’s a cardinal sin when he does otherwise. Even though your bible says wives obey your husbands. But i can almost guarantee when you see that you pick and choose what you want to listen to.

  13. Mack says:

    @ Renae:

    It wasn’t a tangent at all. I’m just keeping it honest and all the way real with you. I know Monique and others have told you that being ‘large and in charge’ is sexy. Well guess what: Monique lied! Hence why she hasn’t married a large and in charge brother; and also why she’s been shedding pounds herself lately.

    I know people don’t like to hear that, but its the solid gold truth nonetheless. Not to mention that being a big girl is potentially unhealthy. Plus you have to ask yourself: would it be a wise investment for someone who is health conscious to marry someone who isn’t? What would the potential longterm effects be of marrying this overweight person?

    To shore up my point, many folks tend to believe that black men prefer big women. Thats a fallacy. Tariq Nasheed says it best: ‘Black men don’t like big women: BROKE men like big women!’

    And I have to agree 100%. Prove me wrong on this one. Name me ONE brother who has serious money that has a big girl on his arm, who’s not rich herself. I’ll wait…

    If you’re a big girl, don’t get mad at this. Whats wrong with hitting up the gym? It’ll be better for you in the long run anyhow.

  14. Giselle W says:

    This article is ridiculous. I don’t agree with any of it.

  15. Renae says:

    I just don’t understand why you went off on the tangent about “chubby chicks” in the looks section?? Seemed to have nothing to do with the title of the article. Maybe its for a line in a new article to be published by you titled “The Main Ways I Get my Chub Up” I agree with William, this was a good and honest article until your own grandeur delusions muddled the screen.

  16. k says:

    That’s really interesting. It’s a world full of stereotypes we are living in today. Its a brainwashed society. Sometimes it really make me sick. There is no receipt how to get a man to marry you and you shouldnt try to match any of those stereotypes just to fit expectations of a man or woman. You are who you are. You get what you deserve. Good things are coming to good people. Your energy will always pool the same kind of energy of other people. If you are expecting good things in your life – you have to start with yourself, become the kind of person you wish to have around you. Appreciate when good things come your way, dont take it for granted. It takes a lot of discipline to stick up to your own principles and values but it pays off.

  17. married woman says:

    Never compete for a man’s attention. When a man is truly interested in a woman he’ll always refer to her by her name. Remember Love Jones where Lorenz Tate got up after knocking the boots with Nia Long and cooked her an awesome breakfast. That’s what any man would do who’s interested in your hand in marriage.

  18. Tee Roy says:

    Wow you have officially nailed it! this is exactly what women need and really want to hear…real information from real brothas! Any man that disagrees with the assessment of how we visually “first see” women clearly has been emasculated…get some balls. lol. We Are Visual Creatures…duh. And they know we ARE looking. Dont get me wrong that is clearly not the worth of a woman but it’ll get her a interview. I love my sistas dearly…please read and reread this article. no man wants to come home to an argument every night,its just not fun for us, so why would he marry an argumentative pushy woman? ijs…..

  19. Leonard Smalls says:

    I concur with article completely. The author is arguably correct in his assessment on how to get a man to marry you. If you personally do not subscribe to his viewpoint, that is quite fine, because (correct me if I am wrong here) he is simply providing advice.

    Unfortunately, the slew of dispositive comments is a reflection of the intellectual culture (or lack thereof) that pervades this society.

  20. Steph says:

    William,

    Thanks for your comments! It gives me hope to see that there are men out there who know how to respect females.

  21. Steph says:

    In the past, I read the comment of a White man on this website who could not believe the macho and sexist perspectives of some of our brothers. It is an embarrassment!

  22. Mack says:

    @ William:

    Amazing how as a man, I’m expected to sugarcoat and tone down my viewpoint, as if sisters can’t take or handle some realism! Now I’m being told how to write articles to make them more palatable to a mostly feminine audiance. Smh These ladies can handle the truth bruh. They’re not the precious primadonnas you imagine them to be.

    You should listen to yourself: you sound a bit like one of the ladies. And I understand why: college hoops or not, this is how men in this country have been trained to talk and think: like women. No one’s debating whether love is needed or not in a successful marriage. But love by itself doesn’t mean ish. If it did then “love” would keep 70% of divorces from being initiated by women: chief reason being boredom, not infidelity or lack of love on the man’s part.

    Boredom.

    Men need to recapture their freedom to talk, think and act like MEN once more. Enough with that ‘Mars and Venus-metrosexual’ crap. I kept it all the way real in my article. From a man’s perspective. Most men think exactly how I laid it out. And unless women want to marry each other, I suggest they take heed.

  23. William says:

    Mack –
    I am not going to get into a manliness contest with you. I am a former college hoops player, but that’s the last I will say about it.
    This is about love. Both sides, women and men, need to love each other. Love is what makes the world go round. Love is what makes marriages successful. I know. I have a really good one. You started to make some good points, and then you blew it when you started talking about “tits and ass”. You could have taken your article in another direction and really done well.
    Maybe you should do a re-do on your article. But, whether you do or not, I have nothing else to say on the matter. Good luck.

  24. Mack says:

    @ Jazzie:
    Thanks sister. Much appreciated.

    @ William:
    Feel free to submit your own articles to thyblackman.com
    But this one here is MY article ‘bruh’: and I’ll write it how I choose. As for no self-respecting woman wanting me: no self respecting man would want a woman who can’t handle opinions that differ from her own. And contrary to how you may think, real women prefer a man who speaks his mind without fear of offending them. They can respect a man like that over some mangina who says what he thinks women want to hear, trying to gain kudos from them. Now which one are you? I’ll let you sort that one out on your own.

    @ Steph:
    Sexist? Maybe…it does come from a man’s perspective. A man with both of his balls by the way…and untucked. Perhaps you prefer the other type…?

    @ Jlynn:
    See my response to William. Thanks.

  25. Steph says:

    It is unbelievable to see a sexist and macho article like this one on thyblackman.com!

  26. Jlynn says:

    I agree with William …it started off truth *be told…then somehow you lost thought on what a person is ….less known a woman !! Sounds exactly like your own self thought process …..for not all men think as such…Kudos William !

  27. William says:

    This article began with some credibility, then it lost all credibility while sorting out the order between “tits, ass, etc”. No self-respecting woman would want you. You have nothing to offer.

    You could have expanded on the topic of having a pleasant disposition. A lot of women have such a harsh personality that non-one would want to be around them. You could have explained what it means for a woman to be sweet and gentle, and how that adds to the atmosphere of love. But you didn’t do that.

    You did make a point about being in shape, and it is true that men want women to be in reasonable shape. Perhaps not perfect shape, but at least concerned about their appearance.

    Then, you could have ended by saying a woman having those characteristics would be loved and cherished by her man. It is obvious from your article that’s it’s all about you.

  28. And Amen, brother, on behalf of the women who are aware!

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