Evelyn Lozada, Chad Johnson who is really the victim? : ThyBlackMan.com

Monday, July 28, 2014


Evelyn Lozada, Chad Johnson who is really the victim?

August 13, 2012 by  
Filed under Ent., News, Opinion, Sports, Weekly Columns

(ThyBlackMan.com) I wasn’t so sure what to make of the latest release of the reality minstrel show known as the marriage of Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada.  Evelyn is one of the many women on that hit TV show “Basketball Baby’s Mamas.”  (Wait, it might be “Basketball Wives,” but it can’t be, since almost none of these women were actually ever married).

Evelyn Lozada has replaced Juanita Bynum as the newest face of domestic violence after her new hubby Chad Johnson was locked up for head-butting his beautiful bride. Perhaps the head-butt is the new mating ritual for primitive black people on reality shows, I’ll have to look that up.

Chad Johnson went to jail, and Evelyn Lozada is now wondering how this all could have happened to a love that was destined to be something special.  Making matters worse, Chad Johnson was just cut from the   Miami Dolphins over this little incident, meaning that Evelyn Lozada will now have to find another wealthy, famous man from whom she can suck her blood.  Times are tough for poor, sweet, innocent, Evelyn Lozada. All she ever wanted to be was a loving wife.

Mind you, it’s obvious that domestic violence is always a serious matter.  When I spoke with my girls about the 2009 boxing match between Chris Brown and Rihanna, I had to make it clear to them that they should be fully prepared to pay the funeral expenses of any man who put their hands on them. But in their perpetual (yet inexplicable) love for Chris Brown, they asked me an interesting question: “If the woman hits the man, why should she be upset if the man hits her back?”

Now, the old man in me immediately thought “I hate it when kids learn to think for themselves.”  I wanted to send my girls to the nearest psychiatrist to help them fully understand that a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances.   I could only imagine them as victims of violence, where they presented a perspective that seemed to argue that they could actually be perpetrators.  This obviously concerned me, because it forced me to think through my views on relationships a bit more.

After seeing the evil television Banshee known as Evelyn Lozada in action, I wonder if my daughters have a point. Evelyn is the woman that I once saw crinkle her brow with an evil glare, take off her shoes, and climb across a dinner table so she could smack another woman’s weave square off the top of her head.   She’s a woman where the words “I’m gonna kill you b*tch” are uttered at least 15 times before breakfast.  Given the peculiar manner in which Evelyn has branded herself, it’s hard not to imagine her “getting just a tad bit upset” after finding condoms on the floor of her new husband’s car (these kinds of fights always seem to involve condoms).

So, this leads me to the question:  If a woman hits her man and he hits her back, does that allow her to call herself a victim of domestic violence?

I say the answer is “not always.”

Imagine if Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada were a gay couple where one man just happened to be a 130-pound beauty queen, with long flowing hair, perky lips, and perfectly pedicured fingernails.  If he were to whack the hell out of his husband and then get beaten down in response, would we consider him to be a victim?  Would the answer change if he had a vagina instead?  Obviously, situations like this lead all of us to rethink our view on domestic violence and at least refrain from judgment until we know all the facts.  Also, we have to rethink the popular view that the thousands of men who are victims of domestic violence are just wimpy little dudes who simply need to “man up.”

With all the speculation about what happened with Chad and Evelyn, the goal is not to focus on these two ridiculous people.  They are meant for comedy, not much more.  There are two simple points to be made here:

First, keep your hands to yourself in your relationships. I don’t care if your partner cheats on you, cusses you out, calls you a name or pees on your cat, violence has no place in a relationship.  If your partner does put their hands on you, don’t fight back.  If you’re in a violent relationship, then leave, tell your family and call the police. Period.  Almost nothing good ever happens when black people are interacting with the police.

Secondly, for the fellas, remember that much of this discussion is both theoretical and academic.  Even if a woman hits or attacks you, the truth is that almost no one is going to understand why you chose to hit a woman.  When the police arrive and a woman says she’s been battered, police are always happy to lock up the nearest black man.  So, when you meet the Evelyn Lozada in your life, trade her in for a woman with a bit of dignity, self-discipline and maturity.  It can keep you from getting caught up in the system and ruining your life.

As for Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada, their whole love affair was just a ticking time bomb from the jump.  When you mix two unhealthy, dysfunctional people together, you’re only going to get dysfunction to the third power.  No amount of money, fame and good looks can overcome the damage of spoiled, corrupted souls, so I never expected much from this marriage from the beginning.  Love is not created from war.

Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins
 
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.
 

 

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Comments

18 Responses to “Evelyn Lozada, Chad Johnson who is really the victim?”
  1. simon says:

    The victims are those who watch this stuff falsely conditioning them selfs to feel it’s their form of entertainment, in all reality it’s just nonsence passing itself off as tv, i wonder how many of the victims of this show aka loyal whatchers were some who went on twitter trashing gabby for not having burnt straight hair.

  2. Melba z says:

    Evelyn lozada is the poster devil for domestic violence against WOMEN, we’re taking assault with a bottle, fists, verbal abuse, “why y’all always stopping me” violence!!! It was inevitable thats she would start abusing other groups apart from women, thank god it wasn’t kids!
    Chad had no business aligning himself with that evil whore, NO BUSINESS!!!! I believe without a shadow of a doubt she head butted and attacked him, then spun the situation to save her filthy lieing ass. Now she will be a abuse advocate, don’t support her, because eventually this crazy bitch will kill someone!

  3. Tina say says:

    They are both victims of their own circumstances. Themselves!!!!!!

  4. Lawdamercy says:

    Karma….run Chad, run. Evelyn is gonna be paying for her sins forever

  5. Datruth says:

    These two morons deserve each other. Ocho is a 21st century ignorant black face minstrel and Eva is a low quality, cheap whored out, diseased ridden gold-digger.

  6. yo barbie! says:

    Well stated. I definitely agree that Evelyn has a horrible temper, but I just can’t see her head-butting Chad. Slapping, punching, or scratching him? Yes. But head-butting him? No. And as for the reason she became upset (finding the condoms), why are you upset about behavior that existed before you came along? Marriage definitely won’t change a leopards spots.

  7. Carmen says:

    Good points all around. I’m no fan of Evelyn, but the victim blaming bothers me. Evelyn didn’t force Chad to have an affair. She has to take responsibility for her actions and so does he. He was a douchebag long before she came around. He is a grown ass man who could have easily not gotten married. He chose to.

  8. Notaboutthislife says:

    This is awful, to have a career ruined by human trash… No way he hit her, NO WAY! Just look at her track record, her anger problem, her violence, her lack of account ibilty , she has blamed her father and prob every else in America for her behavior and never tried to change… Now she blames Chad, it had to happen eventually…. She wanted to see blood in her costars face, now she she see it in hers…KARMA.
    All those threats you made Eve, they on TAPE…… Hope Ocho has balls to use it to clear his name.
    Guys…keep away from TRASH…

  9. DJ says:

    Great article! Very insightful. Honestly, as a woman I feel for Chad. Evelyn showed all of us what she was made of on TV with her HORRIBLE temper. I would never condone violence, but seeing her in action makes me believe his story – that she indeed head-butted him. I feel bad for him that his life is DESTROYED based on what her side of the story is, and now the VH1 show is cancelled…. Let the man have a chance to speak!

  10. Really ? says:

    Love is not created from war, that sums it up. That bitch never loved Chad, she just needed an asshole to finance her. Now her violence spilled over to him! Did he expect different?

  11. sophie says:

    well said. just feel sorry for Chad he has lost everything he worked hard for, as for everly she has made money from all dis craziness.

  12. Fabulous says:

    Chad, yu need to run from this woman before she injures you more and physically hurt you and your family. The earthquake at your wedding foretold this.

  13. FT says:

    You can’t pedicure your fingernails, only your feet.

  14. Overit says:

    How could Ocho have been so stupid?

  15. Mappinit says:

    Chad needs to just distance himself from that psycho and start rebuilding himself, piece by piece. And yes, I too believe that she hit him. It’s what she does, it’s what she’s known for.

  16. Monica J says:

    These people have kids !! How selfish,self centered and egotistical can two human being be?

  17. Remy says:

    Disgusting. Have we all learned a lesson? People be the best you can be, it’s not cool to be foul mouthed,violent,aggressive,stupid,bullying. Get an educatiion, be kind,decent and considerate to your fellow man. Spread positivity.

  18. Mike D says:

    EVERYBODY warned Ocho about that crazy witch. Petitions have been created and signed 30,000+ over the horrific violence this woman used on her costars. So many letters and comments were posted about the ticking time bomb that this terrible woman was, now she has DESTROYED him like she DESTROYED and ran through $100million + that. Antoine Walkwr HAD. I believe SHE attacked HIM. She will now take eveything he has left..VH1 is RESPONSIBLE for this mess, after she threw the bottle and crawled across the table like a DEVIL they needed to pull the plug on her because she was obviously DANGEROUS !!!!!!!!!!thanks God the children were not injured. Sick , sick, sick & sad for Chad because he spent his life building his career, just to have it destroyed by a low grade, cheap, crazy prostitute.

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