He Doesn’t Need Your Permission.
(ThyBlackMan.com) Whenever a woman says “I let a man be a man” that shows she “thinks” she has the capability or authority to allow him to be otherwise. FYI you can’t “let” a real man “be” anything other than what he ALREADY IS. While we are on the subject of “real“, a real man will never be dominated by a woman, and a “real” woman desires a man who takes RIGHTEOUS control. As women the only male dominance we have is over our sons; and even that is limited.
Do you know what skorts are? They look like a dress, but are really shorts or long pants in some cases. They are deceptive because they give the ILLUSION of a dress. This is what a lot of us as women want to seem to wear in our relationships. We want the dress and the pants. We want you to be a man when it is convenient……kinda like when it’s time for the bills to be paid. Then we showcase the skirt. But when it comes to running the house, or being submissive, then we showcase the pants.
We put the pants on to speak to you in a harsh and disrespectful tone, and when you’re reaction is to speak to us in the same manner that we JUST spoke to you, we quickly jump in the skirt and say “How dare you talk to a female like that?” Listen you can’t be BOTH the Man and the Woman, then complain when your man isn’t acting “like a man should” when you are the one emerged in all types of confusion!
We get so caught up in trying to tell a man what his role is, all the while not knowing what OUR role is. Instead of telling a man to know HIS role, let’s try KNOWING, LOVING, EMBRACING and MASTERING OUR role. You want a man to MAINTAIN his home, give him a home WORTHY of MAINTAINING. You want the man to “take the lead“, well make sure you are willing to FOLLOW him! You want him to be the “head of the household“, then don’t buck his authority when he exercises it. While you’re listing all the things he “must bring to the table”, make sure there is a HOME COOKED MEAL waiting for him, when he sits down. You want the type of man that will risk his life in order to protect yours, then BE that type of woman.
Sisters kill me with this “I want a REAL man” when and if a REAL man came into your life; you wouldn’t know what to do with him! What is your definition of a REAL man anyway, and are you a REAL woman? Yes you are “real” because you can be physically seen, but how is REAL is your spirit? How REAL is your patience? How REAL is your understanding? How REAL is your commitment/knowledge regarding being a “help meet“? Are you REALLY judging a man on his character or his wallet? How REAL are your nurturing skills? How REAL is your ability to console him? How REAL is your understanding regarding the trials of Black Men?
As the saying goes “real recognizes real” so if you don’t have a “real” man in your life, maybe it is because he recognized that you lacked a certificate of authenticity!
I mean on one hand it is “I am women hear me roar, I’ve got my own, I’ve got this degree and this degree” but you can’t discern when a man isn’t good for you? All that education you boast of has rendered you helpless? You just don’t know how your clothes got on the floor, not once, not twice but NUMEROUS times. And you just KNEW that the key to commitment was having that man’s baby, I mean because it makes sense (insert sarcasm), I mean continuing to have sex with him didn’t make him commit, but having his baby, will instantly upgrade you from pleasure releaser to wife. What?*gasp* THAT DIDN’T WORK? (Insert sarcasm again)
All these women that tell men to man up need to WOMAN UP! A REAL woman knows that is HYPOCRITICAL and UNJUST to place ALL the blame on a man. It’s easy to follow a fool imitating “manhood” when you’re being foolish and are imitating “womanhood“. A lot of the responses I get are rooted in emotion because I remove the “Innocence Veil” because we as Women aren’t innocent. We indulge and participate in lies, manipulation, and playing the automatically dispensed victim card. Black Women want credit for all the good in our community, but shun the so called bad, even though we gave birth to them all. We treat Black Men like they are stepsons we wish didn’t inherit from a marriage; we birth them; then shun them.
We don’t like for men to define us right? So what gives us the right to define THEM? Why is it that we get “valid reasons” to justify our madness, but with him it’s “excuses“? Let me tell you something, an overbearing, loud mouth, uncouth, unkempt, children ill mannered, dirty house, rebellious, anything you can do I can do better can’t cook won’t cook woman is NOT the business. If you always find yourself explaining to a Brother all that you “think” you are, but everything you say falls on deaf ears, it is because he sees everything you ARE NOT. Stop telling a man everything he “should” be and work on BECOMING the WOMAN God made you to be. Get in your lane and STAY in that mug!