Father’s Day—key word; FATHER – Ok Black Women!
(ThyBlackMan.com) So a friend of mine brought to my attention, cards designed for Mothers on Father’s Day and I was disgusted by the madness. If you are a female you are a MOTHER, not a FATHER. Even if you are a single mother, raising beautiful children, you are still a MOTHER. I remember when I was younger I would give my mother Father’s Day Gifts and cards and she would always accept them, which made me think that what I was doing was correct and ultimately gave me a warped view on male/female relationships and the roles pertaining to Mothers and Fathers.
Upon growing older, I know now that I am solely a MOTHER. I can’t play the role of a father, I can’t be a father, and Father’s Day (or any other day) is not the” I’m gonna bash your daddy cuz he ain’t here and I am both the mother and father day”. I know some of us can’t wait until the clock strikes midnight to post and tweet our bitterness regarding the “deadbeat no good fathers”, but we have to get control of that hurt and pain, because all we do is project that on to your children. You can only be ONE. We have enough confusion in our households as it is.
Even if it feels like we are playing dual roles, we are only given ONE. I will never be both a mother and a father, if I could be both, then I wouldn’t need a man to procreate. We hold the title Mother for a specific reason and purpose and he holds the title Father for a specific reason and purpose.
I get it, I was a single mother for most of my life, so I know the trials and tribulations that a Single Mother faces, but what does talking reckless about our child’s father accomplish? After you talk negatively about him, then what? Talking about him isn’t going to magically conjure him up. Don’t turn Father’s Day into your own personal holiday, planting seeds of resentment, and confusion into the minds and hearts of your children. Even if the father isn’t in the house, but still maintains a relationship with his child, or even if he doesn’t, you still have to be thankful for HIS SEED. Without the seed, there would be nothing for the womb to CULTIVATE.
This is more proof that the independent mentality is running wild in our community, and the agenda to keep us separated is working. Look at the company producing the cards, Mahogany; specifically geared to the Black Family, and this particular card is specifically marketed to the BLACK WOMAN. Now why would this card appeal to Black Women? What is it about us as Black Women? I keep saying that the Black Woman holds the key to EVERYTHING.
I haven’t seen any “for my dad on mother’s day” cards for the single Fathers that have custody of their children. You know why? There’s little to no money if the Black Man is painted in the positive light. There is a lot of revenue to be gained from “deadbeat fathers” or “there are no good black men” campaigns, by preying on the emotions of resentment and hurt of women. Black Woman we fill up to many pockets, we are making people rich because they have mastered profiting off our emotions. I am sure so many Women will see that card and feel they deserve it, and will probably sell out on the shelves.
When I posted the “For my mom on father’s day” card on my facebook page, one of my friends commented that it was “cute” and there was no “harm no foul”. You know, there are a lot of things that we label as cute that lead to destructive behavior. We think it’s cute when our children can run an entire Lil Wayne verse but can’t say their abc’s to save their life. We think it’s cute to have our daughters shaking their behinds at a young age, then wonder and feign ignorance when they get older and become promiscuous.
While some things may “seem” simplistic and innocent, the overall effect has proven to be much more damaging. This type of “marketing” will allow you to believe that a man isn’t needed in the lives of his children, specifically a Black Man. One of the days, I swear we’re gonna stop falling for the okey doke.
So, having said all that, I am thanking all of my brothers that cultivate their seeds. To my brothers that hold down their families, work hard to secure and give their children the best. To the brothers that are ACTIVE & PRESENT in the lives of their children, without an order from the judge, those that marry the women that extended their lives, to those that understand that “child support” goes well beyond financial support, to those that fight to have a relationship when the child’s mother uses the child as a pawn, to men who understand that a child not born of your flesh, can still be nurtured and groomed in your spirit.
Even though you’re “stepping” in the role of a father the word step-father is never used. To the fathers of their Community, the Fathers of the “Fatherless”, who set a positive example, who take the time to say a kind word to a young Sister that may be lost, to help give a single mother some ease, and relieve burden that is not hers to bear. To all the fathers whose children say “Forget Superman I have a SUPERDAD“………I salute you, I appreciate you and I love you! Happy Father’s Day!
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects