Black Women, “Think Like A What?” : ThyBlackMan.com

Thursday, October 23, 2014


Black Women, “Think Like A What?”

April 24, 2012 by  
Filed under Ent., News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

(ThyBlackMan.com) So…..last night I went to go see “Think Like A Man” and of course it was packed in the theater. Without revealing the movie for those that desire to see it, I will write on what stood out to me the most. Basically the premise of the movie is that the Women are dissatisfied with their current relationships or are seeking new ones, and Steve Harvey’s book serves as their compass . The movie was VERY heavy with product placement, I mean those books were everywhere! The women’s characters were in deep study! I am talking highlighters and everything! Allow me to introduce some of the characters to you.

Miss Nine Years: One of the characters in the movie was in a relationship with her man for nine years and she was getting impatient and was ready for marriage. Ladies this is what happens when you go ahead and “play house” with your man. YOU end up getting played! Anyway Miss Nine Years reads the book and follows Steve’s “advice” and attempts to “require” a marriage   proposal by redecorating their home, still playing the role of wifey and all those wifely duties, and encourages him to seek a better job. Again this is a means to get a ring…after nine years. NINE years.
 
Miss Ninety Days-The Ninety Day rule is something that I will NEVER agree with or promote, as that is a DIRECT contradiction of God’s rule which is wait until marriage, and I also have an issue with calling my womb(and yours) a cookie. Really Sisters…..a cookie…but ok.  I know in both the movie and the book Mr. Harvey makes fornication fair seeming by comparing your(our) womb to Ford, a fortune 500 company, and since that  method has proven to be successful for them, why not implement it in your life? The problem with that is these “benefits” only come AFTER marriage. In the movie Miss Ninety Days decides to make that her standard for her next relationship, though she is willing to “amend” the rule if she is told “I love you” which she is, so the ninety day rule hit the floor, and their clothes fell right behind it.  
 
She’s Got Her Own-Now I will say this character displayed the “Successful Single Woman Syndrome” a lot of us seem to suffer from. You know the type. A man is defined by HER accomplishments; C-E-O is how she spells man. At any rate she meets who she thinks is a successful Brother(he has no choice but to come clean with her eventually) and he wines and dines her via a “hook up” and they have sex on the first date. And they continue to have a lot of sex. I mean they get to know each other along the way, but they have a lot of sex, and the message that it sends is that she really couldn’t walk away because the sex was so good. During the course of the movie, she reunites with a man that fits her list perfectly, but she realizes what looks good on PAPER doesn’t necessarily look good in PERSON. I appreciated that aspect of the movie because there are a lot of Brothers that are passed by on a daily basis, because they don’t fit unrealistic criteria, especially in this financial condition. Maybe that character will inspire more Sisters to adjust their lists along with that particular line of thinking.

Married to His Mama-This character was dealing with a Mama’s Boy and again this is an issue in our community. There are two types of Mama’s Boys. The first type, lives at home with his mother and he is still in his thirties, he doesn’t really need to work because his mother takes care of him, cooks and cleans and does  his laundry so in essence his mother has made her son her MAN due to the lack of actually having a man. The second type makes His way out of her house, and into  his own, but his mother still caters to him, and of course no woman will ever be good enough. The Brother’s character was the second type of Mama’s boy. When we engage in this type of behavior all we do is stifle our son’s growth and development. We weaken them; make them lazy and nurse the inability to be self-sufficient. This is what the character had to battle in the movie, an over bearing, can’t take my place mother. She didn’t want to compete with his mother and for good reasons. If a man can’t place the women in his life in proper ranking order, you’ve already lost.
 
Eventually the men in the movie realize the women have been reading Steve’s book and decide to use his words to their advantage (a la “Two Can Play That  Game”) but eventually end up “busted”……and that’s where I will stop.
 
Kevin Hart’s character kept the crowd laughing with his jokes, I heard women agreeing with various parts of the movie, and because his book was a best seller, I am sure this movie will do well at the theaters. I suppose many can’t wait to see the words they have lived by come to life.
 
Steve Harvey said that his goal is to empower women, by giving us a glimpse into the male psyche. In this movie, will there be characters that you can relate to? Of course? You might see yourself or someone you know being accurately portrayed. But Sisters, let’s be honest. If there was a book out telling men to think like women and men were buying it in DROVES, we would be giving them some serious side eye, because we want our men to think, walk and talk as a MAN should right? Well  they want the same thing from US……I really don’t know any Men that wants a woman that thinks like a man. To be honest I  we’ve  tried the “men role” already.
 
We tried to be the head of the house (how is that working for us?), we have tried to control the men in our lives (ummmm did that work out for you. No? Oh ok) we’ve told our children that we are both the “mother and the father” though we are ONLY ONE. So if we really think about it……attempting to “be the man or think as a man in the relationship” hasn’t proven to be successful….so how about thinking as a WOMAN should? I’m just saying I would be kind of leery of what type of man I attract while I am THINKING like a man. In my humble opinion, women don’t need to think like men. Just BE and think like the WOMAN you ARE. The LAST thing a man wants is a woman thinking like him. Anytime you are confused about what you are or how you should think….just look down. tadaaa! There’s your answer!
 
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
 
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.

 


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Comments

8 Responses to “Black Women, “Think Like A What?””
  1. Mel says:

    Didn’t know this is a Christian website.

    You’d certainly think that by the comments. I’m Black, so let’s get that out of the way first—

    Nevermind. I thought I would get up on my soapbox but it’s probably a bit premature for many folks on this thread. All I’ve got to say is enlighten yourselves, Black people! Read something other than the Bible. EDUCATE YOURSELVES!!! Live HAPPY and FULFILLED lives no matter what that means to you! LIVE IT! And not by anyone’s will but your own! Our people were enslaved in Westernized society for over 400 years! Why would any descendent of slaves continue to espouse a religion that was either forced upon their ancestors or kept from them because Blackness meant inferiority back then? WHY PEOPLE, WHY?!?!?!?!?!

    And about this sh***y movie…. Black people, stop looking to movies for the meaning of life. If you think other grown-a** women are going to see the Steve Harvey book-movie and throw their lives away with his bad advice, ask yourself how you were able to decipher the complex code that is the premise of “Think Like a Man”.

    I think the answer you’re looking for is “I have a brain”.

    So do the rest of us.

  2. Alvin says:

    Let them keep thinking like men, while these young boys dressing like woman. Remember, God made man for him and woman for man. When it’s all said and done god promised that men would be scarce in the earth. They will beg for a man hand in marriage when it’s over. It’s aint that there are no good men out here, there’s just very few rich and fake ones availalable for the Gold diggers. In the end they gone have whores for husbands.

  3. sankofa says:

    Anybody who follows Steve Harvey’s career would have figured out that he is a wanna be pimp and opportunist. All books and movies like this suggests is that women continue to find and make excuses for not getting their acts together to uplift the community. I saw an old high school associate and a “friend” going to the theatre to see this movie. Trust that she is not only the type of female you write about, but the type that would see this movie. The more things change the more they stay the same (smh)

  4. DG says:

    “We tried to be the head of the house (how is that working for us?), we have tried to control the men in our lives (ummmm did that work out for you. No? Oh ok) we’ve told our children that we are both the “mother and the father” though we are ONLY ONE. So if we really think about it……attempting to “be the man or think as a man in the relationship” hasn’t proven to be successful….so how about thinking as a WOMAN should? I’m just saying I would be kind of leery of what type of man I attract while I am THINKING like a man. In my humble opinion, women don’t need to think like men. Just BE and think like the WOMAN you ARE. The LAST thing a man wants is a woman thinking like him. Anytime you are confused about what you are or how you should think….just look down. tadaaa! There’s your answer!”

    BAM, enough said with that quote right there. This is coming from a man that thinks like a man and acts like one too.

  5. Nojma says:

    @Emma, you are entitled to your opinion, just as I am entitled to mine. What has been your experience with women that have read the book? I have experienced discussions with women that literally referred to his book as their “bible” though some of the advice that he gives contradicts what the REAL Bible instructs both male and female to do. Some of the most destructive seeds are planted under the guise of “entertainment”. In the theater when a preview of Tyler Perry’s new movie came out, the crowd went crazy. A man in a dress is considered entertainment, though that too contradicts what is instructed in the Bible. Again one of the most effective ways to dull a person or a people to sleep is to give them a bedtime story in the form of “entertainment”.

  6. Emma Turner says:

    First of all, I am a black woman and I saw the movie this weekend and enjoyed it immensely. It is entertainment, people!! Not a life guide or a ‘how-to’ manual on life and relationships. I think the author is taking the movie and the book (which I have not read) too literally. The main point for me was that the movie’s premise was to not to ‘think like a man’ per se, but to simply ‘think’! Think before you act…analyze and clearly look at your relationship and your interactions with your partner with an open heart. None of the women actually did anything that could be interpreted as “thinking like a man”.

    All of the characters and especially the women, discovered that to address the issues in their relationships or single lives, they needed to first acknowledge the issue, be truthful to themselves in what they desired and raise their expectations of themselves and their partners. Again, they had to think! Think about what they had, what they wanted, what they did not want and how to best communicate that to get the desired outcome.

    I loved the movie and did not go or leave from it with any misguided notions on how to think like a man. I think (no pun intended) that if anything, I left out of there feeling more empowered and encouraged by the very fact that I am indeed a woman. Lighten up and enjoy a movie that entertains and does not degrade or insult us as a people. Kudos to the movie and kudos to the cast. Thoroughly enjoyable! I plan on seeing it again.

  7. Nojma says:

    LOLOL your 9.50 won’t put a dent in Steve’s pockets lol. Glad you liked the article, and I appreciate your Brother! Peace to you as well!

  8. donnell underwood says:

    Nojma, of course Steve Harvey will be mad because now I do not have to go to see the movie to join the discourse!!! As usual, what you said was powerful-I mean really, a woman thinking like a man??? It is a sometimes long road but the truth is,being and thinking like a better you is the answer. Peace my sister. Donnell

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