Is God On Our Side Or Theirs.

Did God grant the Crusaders initial victory, only to withdraw his grace and switch His allegiance to the Muslim cause?  Did He lie to the Christians in the first place?  Were the organizers of the Crusades delusional or, perhaps, deliberate liars themselves?

 

There is no firm answer to these questions, but any observer of history should reflect on them. Indeed, maybe the Almighty DID shift over to the Islamic side.  In recent years, He spoke to Osama Bin Laden, the rest of the Al-Qaeda bunch, some Shi’ite clerics in Teheran and good old Mullah Omar.  With Bin Laden now feeding the fishes despite his pipeline to the Divine, it now appears that God’s interest has returned to His followers in the world of Christendom, particularly the United States of America.  I guess it was time to do so, since Rick Santorum has warned us that Satan has this great and virtuous nation in his crosshairs. With the nation metaphysically threatened by the Fallen Angel himself and ready to be sold down the river to the Prince of Darkness by its sinister Crypto-Muslim President, it was Deus Lo Volt Time in Teapartyland.  There was a need for new Christian Crusaders, so the Ancient of Days thus spake to  Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain, prevailing on both of them to run for the Republican Presidential nomination.  I found it odd that The All-Knowing had chosen two candidates instead of one, but I chalked it up to the fact that He does after all work in mysterious ways. 

 

Anyway, who am I to question Him?  Certainly, both Congresswoman Bachmann and Mr. Cain had sterling Christian credentials.  Bachmann had a proven record of curing people of the insidious Curse of Sodom and bringing them to divine salvation. Mr Cain’s qualification to lead the Crusade were even more impressive; the fact that “9-9-9” was “6-6-6” turned upside-down was absolute proof of his divine mission as a virtuous Christian warrior.Then, a funny thing happened on the road to the White House.  Bachmann’s campaign died on the vine and Cain’s flamed out, much to his personal embarrassment.  What happened?  Was Divine Grace suddenly withdrawn from these two Anointed Ones?  Had the High One lied to Cain and Bachmann from the beginning?  Had the Lord of Hosts played a cruel practical joke on two sincere, righteous Christian worshippers? 

I don’t think so.  There hasn’t been a deity who could pull a good practical joke since the Svenskas and Norskies stopped believing in Loki.  Thus, two logical possibilities remain.  The first is that Bachman and Cain are both delusional megalomaniacs.  The second, more likely in my opinion, is that both of them are phony, cynical hucksters who used religion to manipulate the ignorant to their own ends, possibly half-convincing themselves of their own lies.  Neither picture is a pretty one.Now, we are treated to the spectacle of Karen Santorum, the wife of the sanctimonious former senator, saying that it was God’s will that Rick run.  Where did she hear this, I wonder?  Has she been hearing divine disembodied voices, too?  What are those voices saying to her?  Will Rick become a latter-day Michael the Archangel, flaming sword in hand, expelling the Evil One from our midst and restoring America to the fold of godly realms?  Will Santorum’s America be the New Jerusalem, the restoration of God’s Kingdom on earth?  Will the Bachmann-Cain story repeat itself or has Yahweh picked a winner this time?This is just too much to believe.  If I ever follow a politician who claims that God is directing him, I’ll be following that politician with a net and a rifle loaded with tranquilizer darts.  Hopefully, this period of delusional religious fanaticism in our public life will soon end.  I think it will.  Deus lo volt. God wills it to be so. I know!

Staff Writer; Brad Holway