An open letter of apology to Black Men in hopes of Reconciliation. : ThyBlackMan.com

Wednesday, October 1, 2014


An open letter of apology to Black Men in hopes of Reconciliation.

November 23, 2011 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

(ThyBlackMan.com) Dear Black Man,

I have become a woman that you no longer recognize. I have allowed our enemy to impregnate me with his ideas and thoughts. I have allowed an illusion of independence to keep us separated. I have fooled myself into believing that my degrees places me degrees above you.

I humbly come to you asking forgiveness. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not supporting you. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not truly loving you. I was taught to hate myself, then hate you. My desire to  reproduce you was killed by our enemy. I apologize for teaching my daughters that you will fail them, and continuning the cycle of an illusion of indepedence with them. I apologize for not encouraging you, for not being more patient with you, for not understanding your plight, your trials and your tribulations. 

I apologize for thinking in order to gain strength I had to weaken you. I apologize for disturbing your peace, in order to have peace within myself, or what I thought was peace. My life has been in peril without you. I tried to convince myself that I don’t need you, but you are a necessity. I can’t even continue the cycle of life without you. I apologize for my harsh tone, for using my tongue as a sword, for telling you that you are nothing, when in fact you are everything. 

I apologize for mistreating you, disrespecting you, neglecting you and belittling you. I know that I have aided in breaking you, and I am beneficial in rebuilding you. I am acknowleding the wrongs that I have committed against you,and I am confessing my faults. By acknowledging my wrongs, doesn’t mean I am absolving you of your duty, but rather I am re-committing myself to my duty to you. 

I have relinquished my womb from our enemy and I am returning it to it’s rightful owner; you.

I tried to walk this journey of life without you, but I realized that I should be walking this journey with you, and beside you.I pray that you accept my sincere apology, and that we can start the process of reconciliation, so we can love each other and have productive and successful relationships that will set the standard for our children.

Black Man……….I love you…..

Signed,
A Black Woman who concedes that her womb was one of many…….

Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad

To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.

 


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Comments

136 Responses to “An open letter of apology to Black Men in hopes of Reconciliation.”
  1. TRUTH says:

    Black women have NOTHING to apologize for. Just the thought of you feeling that we should apologize sickens me to my stomach. We are not the ones who betrayed them, they started this nonsense. If black men were doing what they ARE instructed to do …taking the SPIRITUAL lead in their households we wouldn’t be here discussing this today. Black women have no problem being submissive to a man who is submissive to Christ. Why should we follow someone who has made his penis his God? That’s all they mainly care about. That’s the number one reason they are turning to redneck, raw meat, pale faces. They can shoot anything in their mouths and use them in EVERY and I mean EVERY hole they have. When they decided to stop lying and fess up with the truth, that’s the reason they feel these filthy piggy females are [supposedly] better than black LADIES. That’s why they say they are more submissive….pigism is not submissiveness. We have nothing to apologize for. They are the ones in the past who sold their own women into slavery to wiggers who raped and used them and they are doing the same thing today. They rather help red neck raw meat advance and pay their bills and praise, build up and treat them the way they should always treat their women and children. They are just like they were in the past….SELL OUTS, with NO INTEGRITY. A black man better NEVER, EVER ask me for anything. I will not support anything they do. When they are in movies, I google them and look at all the females they’ve been with and if I see they’ve been with one pasty pale face pig, they will not get my money…money is power. I will NEVER support these fools! I can’t wait until the white men get sick of this and DESTROY them….guess where they are going to try to run BACK to. I hope all the black women slam the door in their faces. They are garbage!!!!! BETRAYAL is something I detest.

  2. Prema says:

    Sister Nojma,

    Please accept my apology for spelling your name incorrectly in my previous post.

  3. Prema says:

    Greetings,

    When I watched the Sister Nojoma’s video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7e4BNI4__w, I thought I heard her say: “To read my letter go to “blackmen dot com.” So, that’s where I went. I landed on a gay black male porno site.

    SUGGESTION: Please include the following URL in any communication regarding Sister Nojoma’s letter:

    http://thyblackman.com/2011/11/23/an-open-letter-of-apology-to-black-men-in-hopes-of-reconciliation/

  4. Lauren says:

    @da truth

    Oh, and when I make reference to the removal of and blatant invisibility of the black, female image (and it happening before slavery), much of this happened during ancient Egypt, and during the Moorish conquest of Europe and North Africa. The Nubians stood strong against this, which is why they are still in existence to this day.

  5. Lauren says:

    @ da truth

    In reading your responses, I would just like to offer that perhaps as to telling black women that the Willie Lynch letter (which, there are been speculations of this letter being fake, by the way-though, I am not denying the rational and reality behind it) is a reflection to “themselves,” how about we begin to address how our remove, hatred, and rendered invisibility of the feminine, has negatively impacted Black women and men in the community? I would like to pose for discussion how removal from the healing powers of love, nurture, and comfort of the “Dark woman,” (a lot of which was done before slavery-prior to the first Africans coming to this country, and during slavery) has greatly contributed to the dysfunction that spiritual illness that has take place in our community. It would be great to address how the continued SICKNESS of telling black women to “choose” between their race and their gender contributed to what we are experiencing, by symbolically removing the feminine essence. Let me ask you, what other group of people have encouraged the women of their community to do this???? How has the overt hyper masculinity of black maleness and patriarchy negatively impacted black women AND black men? I think by connecting with such questions, we can begin to peel apart the Willie Lynch letter far more accurately. The separation of a community from their feminine existence HEAVILY TOOK PLACE in our community during slavery, through blaming and vilifying the women who continue to birth your existence. Let me ask you something, have you ever wondered why our community of people have been the only ones OPENLY ENCOURAGED to rebuke and deny our feminine image??

  6. Lauren says:

    @KING AURTORIUS II:

    I love, love, love, love how you also created a response of apology, balancing the Universe and the feminine and masculine opponents. IT WAS EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL, POETIC, LOVING, AND was like A HEALING OINTMENT TO MY MANY WOUNDS! THANK YOU BROTHA’!

  7. Lauren says:

    @Ramses

    “You mentioned that black women are “demon-possessed,” or that we are not receptive to love. Well, why don’t you take into consideration the fact that FAR TOO MUCH HATRED has been projected by Black women, and girls, even by her own men?? Why don’t you address that?”

    Correction: I meant FAR TOO MUCH HATRED has been projected “onto” Black women and girls.

  8. Lauren says:

    @Ramses:

    I must say that as an African-American woman, reading your post was very disturbing, hurtful, and enraging at the same time. I am currently living and studying in Egypt, and it’s interesting how these very same comments you are saying, I am hearing from some Egyptian men about Egyptian women. You know I have experienced, EXTREME PAIN from black men, growing up. Many black women HAVE. The difference however, is that Black women have been programmed to stay truthful, loyal to Black men, even when it comes at our own debasement. Even when it cost us our lives. You mentioned about these “other” women who will pick up a diamond and dust off the dirt, yet, I have seen the opposite of non-black women who will only be with a Black man when he has SOMETHING. I have witnessed so much of this, those very same non-black women, who want to “act” as if they are the embodiment of “love,” yet are some of the MOST SNEAKY, DECEPTIVE, WICKED women you could ever meet. Just because some of those women are “nice” about their “nastiness,” doesn’t mean that they care about you. Please remember, any person, who is not concerned about the REFLECTION of your own existence to be REPEATED throughout generations (yes, your own black existence), there lies some doubt. I have seen SO MANY black women who have cared for, and invested their lives to Black men, only to have them betrayed and abandoned. What is also interesting is that so many of these same problems that you are mentioning about Black women, are being accused of by men on their women of other races. There is a HUGE marriage crises happening in the Arab world. The divorce rate in White America is 50%. The highest rate of interracial relationships are white men and Asian women. So, I really pray that you don’t delude yourself into thinking that “heaven” will be found with these other women, or a form or perfection.

    You pride yourself on being a Moor, but please remember that the Moors were BRED OUT, because they did not reproduce their own existence. Spain, and other parts of North Africa and Europe should be African, historically, but now they are back to being European. How did this happen? They sold their OWN women to fund their armies, and got European wives. What good is a man, who can not re-birth his own image. I am not speaking “figuratively,” but PHYSICALLY–his black skin, tightly-curled hair, and others. Please don’t forget that it is BLACK WOMEN who have been the most supportive of their men, than any group. What I have learned is that Black women are the scapegoat, not only for Black men, but from other cultures of women, who want to scapegoat her in order to placate their own insecurities, or hateful ways and sentiments. I am not saying that all Black women are good! That is not the case. Yet, please do not think for one second that the grass is greener on the other side! Far too many Black men have learned that very quickly. And if your beef is with North American black women, why can’t you give the sisters from Africa, Afro-Latin America, the Caribbean, and even Afro-European a try? So, is it “all” about the pains you have suffered with Black women, or is it also something within yourself that you have not acknowledged? Just a thought.

    You mentioned that black women are “demon-possessed,” or that we are not receptive to love. Well, why don’t you take into consideration the fact that FAR TOO MUCH HATRED has been projected by Black women, and girls, even by her own men?? Why don’t you address that? Why don’t you address the reality that perhaps, just perhaps, black women are so spiritually in-tuned (Even though many of use may not realize it), that we sense that there is something, not quite right in the Universe, and therefore, in our world?? Why don’t you ask yourself why people think it alright to abuse, mistreat, and de-feminize Black women (something which has taken place long, before rap videos, and the way “some” black women carry themselves)? Living in Egypt, I can tell you that despite my American identity, I have been mistreated, abused by Egyptian women, who do not know me, who I work with, or simply despise me because they believe that they are “superior” to me because of their “supposed” “white-skin.” They use their own insecurities and self-hatred to placate upon me because there are those who lack confidence in themselves. Please also note, there is a huge wave of Arab men, who are marrying non-Arab women, and they use that same argument that you are using.

    I really hope that next time you address this issue, that you look at the entire picture. There is a huge wave of Black women who are dating out–and please note that it is not just them going to white men. There are SO MANY who are being welcomed by men and other cultures that are not European. So, Black women do have options. What is sad is that the strength and “independence” that we are ridiculed for, they actually like! Why? Because they don’t see us as another burden to take care of financially, or feeling that they are stuck in a relationship because they may not love the woman, but as a man, they must care for her and the children. I have gotten so much praise from Egyptian women and men, who found it MAGICAL that I was able to create a way out of no way, come to a foreign country, and overcome all of the obstacles that were thrown to me.

    I think that you should again examine everything in entirety. Are we really just a bunch of crazy, psycho lunatics, or is there an aura in the Universe or atmosphere that we sense that something is not right? When Palestinian people protest in anger or resentment, are they a just a bunch of crazy, psychotic “terrorist,” or do they feel an anger, injustice, or dissection of their very existence that makes them scream, shout or become “possessed?” When people, women, and young people light themselves on fire because of the evils that they are FEELING, is it because they are “possessed?” So, perhaps, just perhaps, Black women are FEELING something that is not right? Could it be that we are the first woman, and beings on Earth, and we have strong attachments to the Universal energies? Could it be that when some Black women act a certain way, that they are FEELING something that is not right, and maybe we should PAY ATTENTION!

    I send you healing and love, to nourish your wounds, caress your scars, and to clear you of any resentment. I send you this to cleanse you of how the energies of wickedness, pain, and hurt were used through Black, female bodies in hurting and damaging you. However, damage is never permanent. Yet, please remember, one thing. . .the Black, female womb is a POWERFUL vessel. We are the first, and will be the last. Even if all the races of the world, came together, intermarried, and excluded the Black woman, the final product would be BLACK. Blackness cannot be erased. She is the source of creation. All human beings come from her existence. Her hair, skin, and overall existence represent the mysteries of the Universal galaxies. Efforts to eradicate her, only leads to the eradication of others. We are all connected to the Black woman, and guess what, all those “other” women come from us. When you travel the world, my image is everywhere. Go to Poland, and they carry me throughout the streets after Church. Go to Rome, and my image is kissed daily by the Pope, himself. Go to Mexico, where the Virgin Guadeloupe is worship. YOu can even find other images of me in South America, Asia (Black Tara), Europe, Australia, and wherever there is a cultural identity. Attempts can be made to smother the image of Black women, but it is her existence that is the epitome of Universal healing. In every Goddess religion (no matter Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Native, wherever), there was/is the presence of the Dark Goddess. European women even talk of this image. She, the Dark woman (Black woman) will never breed out.

    Deep down, I still feel that there is a part of you that not only wants healing, but wants to feel, AUTHENTIC, loving touch of a Black woman. You wouldn’t be on this webpage if you didn’t want to. I feel that more than anything, whether you will admit it or not, you (and your friends) TRULY WANT to feel the love, touch, and caress of a Black woman-She is in NATURAL EXISTENCE, not in her state of oppression (Note: having a job at corporate America does not equate to liberation), is BEAUTIFUL to you! You desire her, and you desire her healing. We, as Black women, have a lot of work in healing to do. For when we heal, our communities heal, and the WORLD heals. I pray and send you loving thoughts, and magical healing.

  9. Darkie McGeehee says:

    Dear brothas and syistas. No one wants your apologies. Stop your moanin and groaning and join society in productiveness. Your grandfathers NEVER bitched about enduring the hardships of 400 years past. They forgave, they put it behind them. It was their struggle for equality that somehow got misconstrued into a cry for reparations and “white devil” talk. The white race doesn’t give a shit about their own history, let alone yours. It is a world of tomorrows and you need to start thinking that way! What can I do today/tomorrow to improve my family’s position in life?. Crying over the past will get you right where you’ve always been. Nowhere. Respect is earned,.

  10. Jimmy says:

    Signed a Really Pissed Queen to a King, Mother of 2 Princes, Sister to Two Queens, and owner of a womb that belongs to no one but me and the Heavenly Father I serve.

    What is going on with all this ‘king, queen, and prince’ business?

  11. Jimmy says:

    Black women go and read the Willie lynch letter and look in the mirror and I bet you see urself.

    The Willie Lynch letter is a recent hoax. It is not an authentic, antique document at all.

    http://rev-elution.blogspot.com/2013/03/durham-resident-is-author-of-willie.html

    http://www.ferris.edu/htmls/news/jimcrow/question/may04.htm

  12. Secured Party Creditor says:

    First of all I accept and honor your ability to see and address a serious problem between us. I have been waiting for this day. We have been unjust to ourselves and each other, and I pray that we can become free from outside interference. What we didn’t realize was when we got married and gave our “Marriage License” over to the clerk of court they became the OWNER of that CONTRACT (Commerce Law) and therefore controlled that UNION. So I didn’t realize that’s why the Judge had the Authority to Make me Leave. I realize you didn’t know that, when you involved them in our affairs. But now I know we can grow together and become One again.

  13. Rameses says:

    totally agree da.truth

  14. da.truth says:

    Black women go and read the Willie lynch letter and look in the mirror and I bet you see urself.

  15. da.truth says:

    Had this letter been about a black man being locked up, or abuse to a woman, or being a dead beat dad, there would have been 1 million likes with nothing but things against him to say. But since its a letter showing how brainwashed black women have been programmed to be towards black men ,and design to give knowledge to black women its still nothing but negativity. Which shows the truth of the letter.

  16. Nisha says:

    This letter is absolutely stupid and does not speak for black women. In the greater scheme of things we should be apologizing to ourselves as a culture for selling ourselves short, and not treating ourselves like Kings and Queens, with the highest regards of self love and self respect. Apology to another, f*ck that, apologize to yourself for allowing societal views to influence your social interactions, apologize to yourself for allowing the judgments of others to let us think lower of ourselves physically and mentally. I would say create a personal letter of apology for succumbing to the criticisms and judgments of others and not walking everyday with your head high and spreading the wealth of your creativity, knowledge and African American spirit throughout our communities. I do not apologize to the black man, nor do I expect an apology from the black man. I apologize to myself and our black children, for allowing our culture to become corrupted by degrading music lyrics, negative self images and lack of the highest standard of education. Apologize once, and rectify your actions by discontinuing a cycle that should have ended with our ancestors.

  17. THE FULL LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MY BLACK WOMAN
    I Accept Your Sincere Apology “Black Woman”
    “KING AURTORIUS II”
    KING OF JIGGYCERTIFIED JCTINIAN CREED

    Baby I sincerely, and truthfully accept your apology. But since you are being truthful let me give you the truth. The truth about why I cheated on you, the truth about why I hit you for no reason other than to make myself fell better. The Truth about why I haven’t been there for the kids, I knew how to treat you, but yet I would not. You deserve the truth about why I did not support you financially nor did I care about your emotions, even when we had sex I could care less about giving you and orgasm. I treated you like a dog. I did the R.Kelly on you, yes I pissed on you but I AM not laughing now. I left you at the motel, after you willing or unwillingly gave me your Body. I could go on but I believe you get tha point baby. THE TRUTH is I was Lost. I too let The Enemy control my mind. I wanted the things of this world, cars, clothes, name brand this and name brand that, at one-time I even believed white Barbie girls where better than you. I TELL YOU THE TRUTH. I was Lost. For a while I started to believe the Enemy wrote the Bible. The Enemy had me on M.O.B. “Money ova Bitches”. You see But “Now” Thru my 400 Years of Trials and Tribulations, Through my Hardships and prison sentences, mockeries, and an entire World against me, I now KNOW The TRUTH, even when you turned against me. It made me stronger. Now As it is Written. Acts 2:20 The Sun shall be turned into Darkness, and The Moon into Blood before the coming of the Great Day of THE LORD.{2012}. JESUS CHRIST IS THE KING OF KINGS. I was lost Because I was not a king. I did not give you Love, because I was not Tapped or Plugged into My LOVE Source which is GOD OF ISRAEL. ALL men must be Tapped into JESUS CHRIST to give you the True Love you need, For That is the Hiearchy of Heaven. GOD, Man, Woman, Kids ONE WAY, ONE GOD. So My Luv, .My PrinCess, My Wife come-back to me. I AM Now a KING, You will be Alive in me. ALL Women have to go thru a Man who is a SON OF GOD. To Be Saved. That’s why you were acting like you were acting, your soul was reaching out to become Alive. So Many of you have died spiritually Because of the illusion of Independence when nothing in Heaven is Independent. And the Enemy is Playing for keeps whom is Satan. I Gird Myself for Battle Now With My LORD JESUS CHRIST, There is nothing to fear, so come-back to me woman you are me. Become “ONE” IN CHRIST with me We will be ONE BODY, I will Love You like “CHRIST” loved the church, Trust me I’m Ready. I will Protect you. If somebody fuck with you Only JESUS can call me off They ass. Haven’t you head my song “Imma Killem” My Yes is a Yes and My No is a No. I Do miss you sweetie. Together we will Truly Take Over The World. I Can’t wait to have as many HolY Children with you as THE-LORD pushes & opens The Wombs. You see I AM built to Take Over The World. I Wanna Make Love to you, your mind, your body and your soul. I wanna Feel you Body next to me. I Wanna Make you orgasm. I can make you nut by just touching you. You mean so much to me. You are me “Black Woman”. You are my Lineage, I cannot take money, cars and clothes to Heaven, But you Baby I can Take to Heaven. What ever I Bind on Earth, I Bind in Heaven. Your happiness is in your “SUBMISSION” to me, and My “SUBMISSION” unto JESUS CHRIST is your Life. You See Now I AM Playin for KEEPS. And I AM ALL THE WAY 133 “JESUS CHRIST”. It is the end of the World, and Also it’s The Beginning of a “New World”. Alpha and Omega. Lets Not Worry about tomorrow. Let us Just WORSHIP GOD, Giving ALL Thanks to JESUS CHRIST. And LOVE each other day by day. I got this you aint gotta worry no more. THE LORD WILL PROVIDE. I AM HIS SON. We Truly ain’t got no worries. If I die Today It’s a Holiday. Come yo Ass Here. Let us “Rejoice”. You gone have my sons and daughters, And you will SUBMIT. I’m not Playing games with you. So Like It or Love It. I AM your KING “Dammit”. I must be about My LORD’S Business, so you must be bout My Business. You see now that I Know THE TRUTH, I AM Really pissed Off at this Deceptive, Treacherous, Rotten, Misleading Ratchet World That The White-Man whom is The Devil has built. Now You get Yo Ass Away from The White Man, The Enemy, The Devil and I mean That shit. “Black Woman” JIGGYCERTIFIED said dat.
    Come Home! I will Treat You Right. “I LOVE YOU TOO”, But this time it is FOREVERMORE on Earth And Heaven.
    Your KING
    KING AURTORIUS II
    KING OF JIGGYCERTIFIED. “ALL THANKS TO JESUS CHRIST” AND ALL GLORY TO GOD OF ISRAEL.”

    Google: JIGGYCERTIFIED
    YOUtUBE: JCTHDTV
    Search JIGGYCERTIFIED ON Google Play MuSic
    KIK JCTBOOKING
    Email: JCTBOOKING@GMAIL.COM

    THA JCT TAKEOVA™
    G.O.E. GOD OVA EVERTHANG

  18. Ramses says:

    I would comment Deanne but I wrote a long response to your response to what you had to say and this site is screening what people are saying. I thought it happened the other day but I wasn’t sure and then I looked to see if you commented and it didn’t show up. This is confirmation that what I am saying is the truth. I’ve said about all I need to say on here. When niggers screen what you write that says it’s about black men, but doesn’t like what black men say and screens it, then I know for a fact it’s ran by homo ass, panty wearing niggas. This is why I can never call them my brother and it makes me wonder who is funding the project as well. That shit makes no sense. Black women get on here and say all types of shit and they have a free forum to do it and I have been personally attacked but didn’t take it personal. I just said what I needed to say and kept it moving. But boy I must really have been hitting a nerve for them to take down my responses. Now that’s what I call some hoe shit. That is really some bitch shit for real.

  19. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    @Nojma — Very important article. Although I have not personally participated in many of the things you make reference to here, there but for the grace of God went I in every detail, and reading this just humbles me as I see what I could have become — and still could, without walking very, very carefully. “My life has been in peril without you” — my life would have been and still would be in peril had not the Lord surrounded me with a whole host of great Black men whose lived testimony gave me a guidepost through the lies the enemy constantly puts forth about our men and ourselves, and to counterbalance the hurts that a few Black men have caused. Now surely there can be no reconciliation where it is not wanted, and there are a lot of Black men and women who have been hurt very badly by the other side and have no interest in reconciling. Thank you for writing something that expresses the hearts of those of us who do want to come (back) together.

    @Spirit “Black men do not love us” — I must dispute you here. I will not let you get away with claiming the Black men I have had the honor to descend from and know to this day do not exist. There are a lot of unlovable, unloving Black men, true enough — but one does have the choice of tuning out the media, getting out of the club, and doing the work necessary on self to get into circles where there are Black men of character working hard for their people and caring for Black women. There are still many of them out there, but it is certain: if you deny their existence, you will never find them. And there is a price of entry to those circles, to be sure. If you show a man of that caliber you don’t believe in or need him or want him, he has plenty to do other than being bothered. One further thought: there are few trifling Black men on earth that a Black woman did not help create, since we only get here through our mothers (of course sometimes trifling women of other races birth half-Black sons they raise to be just as trifling). If you are a Bible reader at all, notice that when a king is listed in the Old Testament books of history, the name of his mother is listed just before the Bible notes whether he was good or bad. God Himself disagrees, therefore, with your analysis that we as Black women bear no responsibility for the present state of Black men. When we as Black women don’t do what we need to do to bear children with men of character (because in the vast majority of cases, we are not forced to have sex), we are as responsible before God as equally immoral Black men for bringing forth the next generation of messed-up Black kids who become messed-up adults who tend to bring forth more messed-up kids. Black women are as responsible as Black men for the sorry state of affairs we are in as a people in North America — there’s no sense in pretending otherwise.

    @Ramses — Flip side, same coin. “Dealing with black women almost turned me hateful, like a lot of them” — I must dispute you here, for you are a strong Black man. You made your own choices about being so embittered against the North American black women you know of — mind that point carefully — that you seem quite indifferent to the perishing of just about all of them, without apparent regard to even the fact that there are plenty of young Black girls who can still be influenced to the good (that is a total of 20 million people, by the way). Shall I repost some of your quotes about steamrollers and the like, the ones that reveal a touch of pathology that make me concerned about you (if I posted the identities of the last few folks in history who went on permanent record as indifferent or well-nigh reveling in contemplation of the perishing of 20 or so million of their own countryfolk… )?

    Now I realize from reading your posts carefully that you personally have suffered greatly at the hands of a number of Black women; my heart does go out to you. My guess is that your group of men friends have been through a lot also — and I know enough about how the good Black men I know have suffered to know that there are indeed Black women doing terrible, terrible things to the men they claim to love. That said, the disaffection you, your friends, and your choices of media comsumption and personal association are reinforcing about Black women in North America does not mean that a whole host of Black women in North America still holding it down as women of character do not exist — for I am here, and I am hardly alone. Nor is the hour yet too late for an even larger host of very young Black girls who are not women yet. If you are not in the kind of circles where you can be in the company of such women — well, by your own admission, you are beyond the point of even wanting to make the effort. Your choice. You have chosen to move on; I wish you could do that without feeling the need to write so many posts knocking the equally vaild choices of other Black people who have chosen differently, and talking down their efforts to continue to build and rebuild right here in North America.

    @Spirit AND Ramses: I have no firm idea of our relative ages, so on the odd chance that one or both of you is a lot older than me, I’ll be gentler in what I will say in closing than I would if I knew for sure that both of you were my peers. The article Nojma wrote is about an apology in hopes of reconciliation between Black men and Black women. Did it occur, perhaps, that both of you, knowing you had no intention of supporting or participating in such a reconciliation, might have found something else to do beside pouring out your harshly expressed contradictions here? I do not think either of you would have walked up on a group of Black men and women having this conversation and interrupted them in a loud and strident voice with your opinions about the general uselessness (at least to you — note well, to you) of the opposite gender of Black people in North America. Of course, in the real world, that group of people might have encouraged you to move on in no uncertain terms for showing that level of disrespect. Of course, on the Internet, and on a loosely moderated site, no one lays down the law, but one has the same privilege of showing respect and staying out of conversations one clearly has no constructive interest in. Might I suggest…?

  20. Spirit says:

    This letter is nothing but wasteful scribble.
    There is absolutely no point in apologizing to black men. BLACK MEN DO NOT LOVE US.
    There is NO reconciliation. To do so would be to suggest that a relationship of value is lost and is worth recovering. THIS IS NOT THE CASE.
    Black men have, and will continue to, degrade, disregard, and discard Black women. No pathetic letter or pitiful apologies will change that. They simply do not CARE, do not love us, and laugh at such groveling. They are not worth fighting for.
    Black women, don’t be angry at a Black man’s curt words, his choice in “trophies” (non black women) and his overall contempt for Black women. Instead, turn a blind eye and develop a deaf ear and move on. Date out. Find a responsible mate outside of your race. No need to shed tears or become angry over a black man when other, BETTER possibilities exist in abundance. Black women cannot and SHOULD NOT carry tbe burdens of another tbat she did not help create. There is no reconciliation. Black men are simply NOT worth it :).

  21. Ramses says:

    WOW!!!! I heard a black woman in 2007 seven read a poem she wrote on Joyce Latell’s radio station on V-103 saying what you just said sister. But for one sister, like yourself, who has been willing to admit complicity in this madness, you see you have countless other black women who refuse to do as such. That’s why we say we have to go through so many bad black women to get or find a good one, we say it’s not worth it anymore. When you have to say “there are still some good black women around” you know you’re in a terrible position. “Some” doesn’t indicate a lot. It means a few. Those response by those females is the reason why I decided to leave American black women alone. They have abused their men for so long, they can’t even recognize its abuse. All I did was love them. What I have found is that most are not mature enough to give or receive Love. There is no power on the earth on the planet more powerful than Love. Hate can’t even match it. Even evil people want Love. You never see loving people wanting to be hateful. Dealing with black women almost turned me hateful, like a lot of them. I decided to give them the Independence they so desire and let them deal with the wolves out here. But I refuse to be a walking vessel of hate. If that’s what black women get off on then cool. I’m not in the business of telling black women what to do anymore. They are on their own when it comes to me. I still look at them from time to time and wonder what could have been. But that’s it. I just wonder. When a Man loses desire for a Woman, it’s everything. I have no desire to be with a black woman. She killed it. 2008, I was not talking like this. In a four year span black women have completely turned me off from them. i used to think there wasn’t a woman more beautiful than them. I was proven wrong. The world is filled with women who adore the Moor. And that’s what I look for in a Woman. I want to be adored. Good black women are gonna suffer for what many of their sisters did to black men. Might think it’s unfair but we have been dealing with a lot of shit that’s unfair as black men and in the end we want happiness just like anyone else. For far too long black women have made our lives miserable, on purpose. You can’t kick your man down when he is at his lowest. I say a true woman is the one who can be with you when you’re down. It’s easy to be with a Man when he has everything. But can you love him when he has nothing. I always use this scenario. One thing I like about God and Satan (just using a motif everyone can relate to) is that they’re consistent. Satan will give you diamonds, but it comes at a price. God will give you diamonds, but it comes at a price as well. Satan wants your soul, yet God wants your obedience. When you choose Satan’s path, the diamond comes nicely cut and pretty without flaws. However, when God gives it to you, it has dirt all over it. You pick up the diamond and just think it’s a big dirty rock and throw it away. Yet someone comes after you and picks up the same rock and feels something different. They began to brush the dirt off and boom!!! They have discovered a diamond in the rough. This is what has happened to the black man of north america. His woman has cast him to the side so much, that other women of other cultures have picked him up and dusted him off and recognized his true worth and value. Now black women are scrambling to win back the black man’s heart, but for a lot of them, it’s too late. My whole crew of brothers are done with black women. Black women used to be the apple of the black man’s eye. Now, for many, this is not the case. Apologies sound great, but I can’t build a family off of that. The betrayal black women have showed us is finally being revealed and many black women will be suffering for it. The white men a lot of them love so much will have all the opportunities in the world to be with them because in the future, he will be your only suitor. Who would have ever imagined the day when you would hear black men recommend black women go be with white men. I would never have. In my opinion, black women and white men are made for each other. Both have hated on levels unimaginable. I can’t even conceptualize the way both of them hate. One hates because he wants to be the black man and the woman hates because she reall wants to be caucasian. Both are screwed up and that’s why i say they re screwed although, white men have given respect, albeit subtly, to black men and his accomplishments in popular culture. But you have to be adept at seeing these things and know about your history to recognize it. I actually feel sorry for black women. I can’t imagine having that much hate inside that it will drive people away from me and not allow me to be able to receive Love. I’m a a strong Man, but you better believe I want to receive Love. Black women are demoniacally possessed and only they can change that. I can’t help them heal. They are responsible for their own spirituality. As well as I. And i am responsible for my happiness as well and what has allowed me to get back to a place of peace and serenity and happiness is to leave the black woman in north america (and in general) alone. When I apporach women from other cultures, I get smiles and it’s refreshing. i remember I spoke to a Colombian female a while back and she didn’t hear me at first. I said something to her in Spanish and she didn’t catch it. Then I joked with her how she did me wrong by ignoring me. She immediately apologized and came back to me and hugged me!!! It blew my mind. I mean a complete stranger (but not really because we are all family) embraced me and apologized and it’s not like she really did anything wrong but just the thought of her offending me was enough to make her come back and offer a sincere apology. I can’t count how many times I’ve spoken to black women over the years, not always wanting to holler at them, and being completely ignored. I don’t care what your excuse is. I used to love her (to coin the son by Common). I used to love the black woman in a general sense. That has been completely eviscerated by black women and their behavior. And I was a dude that had no problem getting black women either. I didn’t want this;black women did. Picking weak men over strong men but putting strong men in the same category as the weak ones was more than i could stand. I used to wonder why in junior high and high school why you’ll liked weak dudes but it was the ability to manipulate and control them that was attractive. I want reverence from my woman, not power over her. if I gotta beat you into submission then you’re not the woman for me. My hearts in another place and I look forward to meeting quality women, of other cultures, whther it’s Indian women Hindus), South American women (caribs, arawaks, taino, aztec, mayan, etc.) or European women as well who have genetics linked to our Moorish culture of old. I love the posts by the bitter black chicks before because it illuminates why Men like myself are leaving black women behind. Most of them don’t even believe they have anything to apologize for which is sad because it shows how unaware of the bullshit they do to black men. My dark skin has currency in the world and I intend to spend it with women who want to make babies superior to this dumb shit over here. I am not linking my genetic code with the type of women who made those silly comments earlier in this post. I’d rather come back with a Tiger Woods than a Trinidad James. People hated on Tiger Woods when he didn’t want to just refer to himself as black. But Tiger Woods loved his Dad tremendously and never rejected his Father. He just rejected niggerdom. Just like I do. With the high rates of obesity and other diseases, black women will kill themselves through their own hands and I will stand back and watch the carnage. I will not step in and start any organization to try to repair them because there is no repairing needed. i let nature take it’s course and let it weed out the less than desirable amongst us in terms of genetics because that’s what nature does. Black women got comfortable working in Massa’s corporations that she started believing she was him. Tell your friends, coworkers, aunts, mamas, grandmamas, etc. that you’ll have screwed up with black men. And like I said before, black women can front all they want to, but to hear black men rejecting them has been very painful for them even though they try to act hard. To hear black men say they don’t want black women no more is like trying to understand Chinese and you’re retarded. And I hear plenty of brothers saying it. So keep being arrogant because the the downfall is always preceded by pride. When you’ll start seeing your sons with the “other” then you will recognize what I am saying is real. Toodles

  22. I Accept Your Sincere Apology. “Black Woman”
    By KING AURTORUIS II. “KING OF JIGGYCERTIFIED”

    Baby I sincerely, and Truthfully accept your apology. Since you are being truthful let me give you the truth. The truth about why I cheated on you, The truth about why I hit you for no reason other than to make myself feel better, The truth about why I havent been there for the kids, I knew how to treat you, but yet i wouldn’t treat you right. You deserve the truth about why I did not support you financially nor did I care about your emotions, even when we had sex I could care less about giving you an orgasm. I treated you like a dog. I did the R.Kelly on you, yes I pissed on you, I left you at the motel after
    you

  23. Jay says:

    Dear Ms/ Mrs Nojma M.:

    I am here, misty-eyed, humbly accepting your apology and hoping you have forgiven my many lapses so that a “WE” may once again be formed. Carry my seed, my dear earth, for now, I refuse to falter.

    Humbly and truly forgiven,
    J

    (I actually have a tear in my eye, lol)

    To the Aug 7 poster, the Willie Lynch papers are false and were proven so by a scholar, Brother Prof. Manu Ampim.

    http://manuampim.com/lynch_hoax3.pdf

  24. joe smooth says:

    Wow someone finally knows what’s been taught from the Wille Lynch papers and ppl didn’t under stand that it was supposed to happen this way and we all fell prey to this. Ppl read the papers and change your mind set. Welcome back my sister and continue to wake our ppl. Up.love you and may God bless you always.

  25. Jason says:

    This is touching and moving. Too many women absorbed by their own self-righteousness self-hate that they project on the men can’t even begin to hear this. it makes them insane.

  26. lewis orr says:

    It takes no skill to be a hater. I want to be like you with special gifts and powers on loan from God, to kill them with kindness.

  27. Mack says:

    Nojma:

    You stirred up a hornet’s nest with this one! LOL! But that’s what’s up! Keep on doing what you do. There’s none so blind quite like those who choose to not see. So let the willfully blind remain in the dark. Just please keep bringing your beautiful perspectives. You’re causing light to shine in some really dark places.

    Love what you do…and proud of you!

    Mack

  28. lewis orr says:

    I am so moved and awed by your articulation, I like Pastor Henderson can feel and hear the voice of God in it. In my faith humility is a cornerstone of the faith. I believe if we confess our sins and humble ourselves, God will heal this land. I for one can’t point the finger, but I see some don’t understand the importance of humility, I battle with it daily. Sometimes it seem easier to take a fist in the face than to humble oneself. I’m on my knees everyday asking God to forgive my sins, stay my hand from my enemies, bridle my tongue and keep me humble. So I know the level you’re at, and the level I hope to be. Bless you my Sister, God sees all and he knows when you encourage just one soul and you encouraged me.

  29. All I can say is wow! She gets it! And as for the comments (and name for that matter) of “ReallyPissed”, I’m sorry but you totally missed her point. The enemy did not rob her, nor is she taking responsibility for the state of black men. I’m sorry but I think you simply missed her point.
    As a black man myself who has gone through this very thing, all I can say is bravo my sister you touched my heart. Nobody but God could have articulated those words. You sand redeemed and if you don’t mind I would be one willing to stand with you.

  30. Wow! Excellent! I just shared this with my followers on twitter and fb!

  31. huh??? says:

    I want to know where she lives because if the men in her town treat her DECENT enough for her to write about it and especially to this degree..he must be something. I for one love my brothers but it is what it is, to be with a black man especially of the caliber that I am looking for, that isnt asking you to compromise you self worth or your pride is a blessing. I do NOT deal with men who been to jail, do thing to go to jail. I’ve dated professional men in the age rage of 40-50…egineers, police officers,CEO to doctors, who knew and acted like there were exceptions to courtship, respect, fidelity and trustworthyness. I would love to meet a man who can make me feel none the less write about apologizing for mental, emotional and financial security.

  32. ReallyPissed says:

    This is some serious crap. I refuse to stoop to your level and generalize Black Men or Black Women, so I will just stick with you. Is this your idea of the state of mentality among Black Women or is it just your pathetic excuse for your own mistakes, misgivings, and shot to hell past? To even insinuate that Black Women 1) have taken on this role as a whole; 2) are responsible for the state of Black Men; or 3) need to apologize to Black Men as a whole for ANYTHING proves that you are a part of the problem and not the solution.

    Then enemy robbed you of your sanity when the enemy convinced you to write such a contentious “Open” letter. Your words simply contribute to the overall goal of separating us and adding tension to our dialog. This is not an open apology, this is a letter from a lonely woman who obviously finds her worth in tearing other Black Woman down in order to please (or acquire) some man.

    Negra Puleeze . . . you can love and support your man without taking on your shoulders the guilt of isht that has nothing to do with you. We need dialog, not more of this crap. The majority of both Black Men and Women are incredible, strong, and worthy to be praised for surviving the mediocrity we are forced to live amongst. Yes there is definitely some garbage, but painting us all with the same label of trash and then publicizing your obvious disgust is outrageously self-righteous.

    I hope as you grow older, you grow wiser. Peace.

    Signed a Really Pissed Queen to a King, Mother of 2 Princes, Sister to Two Queens, and owner of a womb that belongs to no one but me and the Heavenly Father I serve.

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