(ThyBlackMan.com) The Wu-Tang Clan represents a special bond that black brotherhood could take a few notes from. Though they each have individual contributions strengths, they understood that they were stronger as a unit with regards to entering into the music industry and, at least for a time, running (over and through) it!
Wu-Tang understood the power of the collective whole and embraced it. They came not only to bring the ruckus but to symbolize and epitomize the concept of a fist being stronger than its individual digits. That’s some black power for you!
Even when they branched out on individual projects, they still featured and collaborated (co-labored and rated) with each other. So in the spirit of The Wu – I give you the black man’s B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leading 
Earth): The Top Five Reasons and Advantages of Brotherhood.
5. Sound Checks and Balances: Sounding boards with different pitched frequency distort quality feedback.
This comes in at #5 because while it will likely be the most debated, it forms the basis of any bond that black men must have with one another. Sounding boards are great tools when they are properly tuned to what you are expressing. When a person, as a sounding board, can relate to what you are experiencing, they can be a profound and concise device for bouncing off sound advice. HOWEVER… it is best not to go to your boy about the problems you’re having with actualizing and managing your role as the head of the household if he himself is not married.
Much like the old adages of “game recognizes game,” “fight fire with fire,” and “never bring a knife to a gun fight” – it is simply a foolish set up to seek guidance about your marriage from a cat that is still chasing after women like a dog. So on any level of your life, seek advice from like partnerships. Seek professional guidance from another professional. Seek fatherly advice from someone who not only has children but is effectively and consistently present in the manner you seek.
4. Putting Out Dog House Fires: Getting put out in the dog house by a bossy spouse means you’re fired!
For the atypical brothers who still have a (stereo)typical black women for a wife, having an outlet to vent about her or confess a failure without being judged or thrown out it a MAJOR advantage! Even if said friend has a hot temper and gets upset at your actions, at least you can still go home to unchanged locks, un-piercing evil eyes, unthreatening actions and that uncomfortable peace before the storm! I have a phenomenal wife and relationship where I can be as transparent with her as I want (until it hurts me to be able to confess so much so freely) but recently I’ve done some uncharacteristic things as father that if I didn’t feel as though I could report them to her, I’d really need a brother who had my back to talk out how I’d lost my temper with my five month old daughter.
3. Defensive Wall Posts: Tearing down walls is the fastest way to build up an edified post.
As a black man, I feel as though our biggest obstacle to overcome is our defensiveness. We refuse to share the way our counterparts do because society puts the mantle of weakness on us when we communicate our feelings. Granted, there is something to be said for “sharing feelings” but if we aspire to do and be greater things/people, we need to be willing to break down old walls in order to build up higher fortifications. Fortifications that are buffeted against what the world throws at us versus the phantom sucker punch we’ve imagined will take us to our knees if we open up to one another.
I am a witness that this is infectious. I sat with a group of older men and aired out my flaws unashamedly. While a few of them laughed uncomfortably because what I’d shared was a personal struggle (see #1) they have dealt with as well, I noticed that as our sessions continued, the walls began to come down (if only by a few inches!) as REAL healing and deliverance began to be ushered in from long-seeded, deep-rooted issues.
Much like the pledging process of black fraternities back in the day (because we don’t do that type of thing anymore!), this process of shared and exposing weaknesses links uncommon brothers to common themes and strengthens that bond to protect a sensitive yet mutual nerve. That’s brotherhood building at its best.
2. Accountability – Iron it Out: Sharp is he who holds The Word’s double-edged sword and Is his brothers’ flint.
Having a brother who can hold you accountable to the goals and morals that you have or should set for yourself is a good measure of the man you are becoming. It can be difficult enough to overcome your own ego and id without having your boy whispering the wrong choices in your ear as well. As such. REAL brotherhood means being able to check your friend or be checked by your friend when a wrong choice is or has been made a la the Proverbial ‘Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth…’ (chapter 27, verse 17).
Playing off this imagery a little more, if my friend is willing to straighten me out where I’ve made mistakes and receive it in like manner; while I may be embarrassed by the correction, I’d gladly risk a furrowed brow to cast some impurities out.
1. Guilty Pressure: The guilt and pressure built from displeasures must be released for relief.
When pressure builds, it can damage any system over time without proper release. The pressures of being a black man who is head of his household in this society yields a form of pressure that is hard to manage alone. The best of us have weak moments from either indulgences or flat out failures that eat away at us internally when we choose to keep them to ourselves. Ideally, we should be able to confess them to our wives but building up the courage to do so is best tested first amongst the trusted relationship(s) of men. Men who understand your trials and fallacies the way women really can’t. Case in point. I’ve fought off and have finally conquered the indulgence of soft pornography. What grew from a natural curiosity fed by magazines in high school ballooned into internet surfing – fed by infrequent sexual intimacy with my wife (infrequent with respect to my own sex drive).
I can only speak for myself but the mind can only take but so much visual stimulation before another type of pressure builds up and requires release. Let’s not “beat around the bush” – I’m talking about masturbation. The afterglow of getting caught up in the moment was never a good one for me as I was racked with guilt and shame; yet it wasn’t strong enough for me to break on my own.
Although I’d had many victories in the past where I went weeks, months or a year and some short change without looking at porn – it always seemed to return. Until, that is, I confessed it to a man of God that I trusted: a man of God who was transparent enough to not judge me but confess his struggles with the same issue. Not only was he a sounding board of equal pitch and frequency, but in many regards, I respected him more than myself for the level at which he knew the Lord’s Word.
The relief and release was instant – no longer did I feel like a pariah, of sorts. If this man – this brother of Christ – who I respected was struggling with and was learning to overcome lust as I was while still successfully walking in the authority of God and his ministry, then there was hope for me! God wouldn’t abandon me or take away my gifts and blessings because of my shortcomings; besides, I had at least one brother who would walk WITH me as a stumbled and eventually became able to run through (not away from) this common obstacle – stride for stride without falling.
It is the very essence of James 5:16:
‘Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.’
Doing so exposes the darkness within you to the light of Christ – and with nowhere left to hide, it has to flee as your flesh is freed from its stronghold. Doing so also exposes you to tools of warfare that you might have otherwise not been aware of. In my case, my brother put me on to a book that he and a friend of his were reading which dealt with men’s issues of lust head on and it changed my outlook 1000%: Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker).
This became my “Liquid Sword”. This became my footing which was eventually brought into the fold of The Brotherhood Ministry of my church where we delved into the topic of lust in a way that had never been done before and freed many to walk in the liberty that they’d denied themselves for far too long. So the question then becomes: Where and WHO is your Wu?
BONUS Takeaway:
Abandon Ship vs. The Helm of Brotherhood: Brothers, Govern Yourselves Accordingly: Brothers, don’t strand and abandon – band like rubber to one another.
‘Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, withersoever the govern listeth.’ – James 3:4
Staff Writer; Reggie Legend
Can find more about this writer over at; http://www.steelwaterspoetry.com
Also available as a Keynote Speaker – Book him Today; Speakerwiki – Reggie Legend