Real Talk Relationships! ( Why Men Cheat )
(ThyBlackMan.com) I don’t profess to be a professional on any matter… I won’t try to beat you over the head with technical/medical terms. What I can do is give you an honest opinion… MY opinion… Majority of my opinions are a direct reflection of EVERYTHING I have ever been through good or bad… I don’t throw sugar on shit and expect you to eat it! I have been told numerous occasions that honesty is brutal and that my explicitness is very edgy and raw! I know this confuses some people at times because in one sentence I can give it to you real and in the next sentence I can give you the WORD easy as Sunday morning! I never liked Preachers… I like teachers and educators… So if I can use The WORD as a reference tool and you can use it and apply it to YOUR life in this day in time then I have achieved my goal.
Some call it “making it plain” Almost all of my relationship topics are derived from conversations I have had with my home girls. Being a male with very few male friends I get drawn into these conversations a lot for the added “male perspective” and I stand put that as my home girl… my sista… my good friend… you wouldn’t want me to lie to you correct? So I give it to them the way I know how. Sometimes attempting to spare feelings will not allow the person to get the wake-up they need. So keeping that in mind bare with me as I still try to master this thing called tact!
I WAS ASKED THE AGE OLD QUESTION… WHY DO MEN CHEAT?
To end the Argument…FOR THE RECORD! MEN & WOMEN BOTH CHEAT! It’s not exclusive to either gender. There is a HUGE difference in why we CHEAT. READY!! MEN… When a man cheats almost 99% of the time is purely physical… The man is thinking with his dick…*shrugs*…*Disclaimer*… When a mans thought process/decisions are made by his dick… it does NOT allow the man to think rational or make good sound decisions! LADIES your turn… Ready… now almost 99% of the time when ladies cheat it’s mental FIRST…. See a woman can give you her mind… salvage it and take it back… But once she gives you her body she cant take that back! Women are by nature are emotional cheaters so when a woman cheats it’s because she is lacking or there is a deficiency somewhere in her relationship with her man/or woman (hey it is 2011 some of y’all women like women)… It is the breakdown in her emotional state that makes her vulnerable to allow another to have her body!
Not to justify ANYTHING or ANYONE…but believe A LOT of men can have sex and COMPLETELY detach their feelings like its nothing… It’s a pure self-gratification trait that MEN (ONLY MEN) possess… Self Gratification can most of the time is summed up in one word “SELFISH” It goes back to Adam… Not saying that women can not be that way… but women that can detach themselves from emotions and sex… HAVE LEARNED TO BE THAT WAY… It is a learned behavior … That was more than likely brought on by a man at some point in their life… Its not that either man or woman lacks self control because self control is another learned behavior… No one has self control… everyone OBTAINS it and only through experiences.
LADIES…Trust when I a man cheat on you… MAJORITY of the time… ALMOST 100% of the time… it has NOTHING to do with YOU… Don’t look at yourself as to what you did….REAL TALK… (Excuse me in advance) A lot of times the sex was accessible and the man let his dick be the captain of his ship! And I already said… all SMART, RATIONAL, RESPONSIBLE, thinking goes OUT the window… It isn’t that he does not love you or don’t care about y’all relationship and I’m not trying to justify or excuse the man for doing so… But we just get flat out stupid when we think with what’s between our legs…
There are exceptions to EVERY rule… there are some men who act just as emotional as women… but that’s why I used words like almost… or give a drastic percentage with room for flaw because none of it is 100% for women or men… But almost always when a man cheats it’s simply because WE are stupid… WHEN A WOMAN cheats… ITS ALMOST 100% have to do with her mate!
And the term “ONCE a cheater always a cheater” or “a man is going to be a man” is BULLSHIT! You just have not learned how to block the BULLSHIT out your man/woman’s life yet! But that don’t mean the next man/woman don’t know how to! Sometimes we fail to realize that relationships/marriages are WORK and some just are not up for the task of the work… When entertaining relationships we tend to be attracted to what we want and not what we need or what’s good for us. WE want the gratification and all the accolades that go along with being in happy relationships/marriages but aren’t willing to show how much we want it and more important deserve it. Once you get in a relationship/marriage its not MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Its constant and consistent work! When you are not working on the relationship becomes stagnant… and stagnant allows for outside interference… So as WE all strive to be better husbands, wives, friends, and better people know that it takes work. And without the necessary work there can be no growth for us in anything we do!
A lot of my articles will range from both ends of the spectrum and everything in between. I know my mouth is off the chain at times and some of y’all probably will be reading with your mouth wide open…I tried to be reader friendly as possible. I am very opinionated but even more OPEN to learn different! My biggest goal is only to open up dialogue in our community… Our biggest enemy is WE don’t talk or communicate…
Staff Writer; Jamal Montague