(ThyBlackMan.com) “Ok so I’m obviously not a racist, but there’s a bunch of black people at the beach by my building and a piece of watermelon just washed up on shore by me, just sayin’ ” (via http://notaracistbut.tumblr.com*)
“Is it gay for a man to get a pedicure and then send you a pic of it?” (via Facebook Page)
What is the difference between the above two statements? I find them equally offensive, in the respect that there are negative generalizations about specific populations of this country. Before we move forward, I want 
to stress that I believe that it is a moot point to decide whether bias against Blacks or members of the LGBT community carries more weight because it’s like comparing apples and oranges that were all reaped from the same oppressive roots.
What I find particularly interesting is that the latter comment was posed by a Black female moderator of a Facebook page that caters to Black singles. So here we have a member of a historically oppressed group essentially expressing prejudiced beliefs about another historically oppressed group. When I brought this to the attention of the people (majority of which who are women of color) who commented on that post (with the typical responses of yes!!! Soooo gay!!! LOL); I was met with responses of “don’t be so political” “if you find it offensive, just leave the page.” *sigh* My sisters, my sisters.
We can’t pick and choose which insults are acceptable and which ones aren’t because they all stem from the same maladaptive beliefs that are intent on keeping our society torn apart. I’d be hard pressed not to find a Black woman who hasn’t been discriminated against or stereotyped based on being (a) Black and (b) a woman. With that in mind, I find it appalling that knowing the hurt we felt, and continue to experience behind all the types of discrimination that we have encountered, that some of us would turn around and dump the same pain on another group. This Paulo Freire quote always resonates with me when considering the role of oppressors and the oppressed:
“Although the situation of oppression is a dehumanized and dehumanizing totality affecting
both the oppressors and those whom they oppress, it is the latter who must, from their stifled
humanity, wage for both the struggle for a fuller humanity; the oppressor, who is himself
dehumanized because he dehumanizes others, is unable to lead this struggle.”
The same way there were laws in place in the past to keep Blacks stigmatized and in a 2nd class citizenship, the same is true today of our LGBT brothers and sisters. Not only are they overtly denied the right to marry in most of the U.S.; there were still 13 states which had sodomy laws on the books until 2003. The same way some of our fairer-skinned brothers and sisters attempted to “pass” in order to blend in and be accepted into mainstream society at a time when it was nearly criminal to be Black, our LGBT brothers and sisters have resorted to hiding and denying their sexual preferences due to the very same fear of a scathing stigmatization. CNN newscaster Don Lemon expressed not “coming out” until now for very similar reasons. So, who are we to side with a larger oppressive force to keep another marginalized group down?
How many of our LGBT brothers and sisters have taken their own lives because of the overt bigotry that they’ve received? Let’s look at some recent cases of suicides that were the result of anti-gay harassment/bullying last year:
There were at least 4 notable suicides of black gay youth. Two of them were 11 year old boys.
26 year old Joseph Jefferson posted this comment on Facebook the same day he took his life: “I could not bear the burden of living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards those of us who live and love differently than the so-called ‘social mainstream.’”
Rutgers student Tyler Clementi took a fatal plunge off the George Washington Bridge after discovering that his roommate was secretly recording his sexual encounters with another man.
There are campaigns undertaken by activists who have attempted to bring awareness to this issue, notably It Gets Better. Singer Marsha Ambrosius’ “Far Away” video was dedicated to a friend who committed suicide as a result of bullying due to his sexual orientation. Author Keith Boykins is accepting submissions for a collection of essays, poems and personal reflections of a forthcoming book entitled “For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough.” More information on this project can be found at http://www.4coloredboys.com.
Bottom line, it’s not cool. It’s time for some serious self-examination amongst ourselves if with think that making off-handed comments or belittling others based on race/gender/sexual preference is no big deal. People have lost their lives or continue to live in hiding because to them, it is a big deal. The power of words is mighty and can negatively impact someone’s life. Why is it so easy to tear people down and negate their existence rather than build them up, thus strengthening communities?
*Note: The http://notaracistbut.tumblr.com page was created to highlight the inherent biases of individuals and the ease at which they casually convey these beliefs.
Staff Writer; T.S. Taylor
Feel free to also connect with this sista via Twitter; ProfToniBK.