(ThyBlackMan.com) There is a fine line between collaboration and domination. In both personal and business situations, people in your life may not always understand the difference between collaboration and domination – and this is how egos become bruised, feelings get hurt and one person or another may want to walk away. But other than hurt feelings, there may also be the thought of, “I came to this person to collaborate, or reciprocate – why are they being so aggressive?” Many times what you think is aggressive behavior, is really someone trying to dominate you, take over, downgrade you or sabotage you in some way. Here’s how to understand the difference between collaboration and domination.
When you collaborate with someone, each person brings their talent and energy to ensure that your shared vision is met. There should be mutual 
respect involved. Mutual like may not exist, but you can at least be civil and keep it moving rather than cause conflict. People with more shaky personalities like conflict and use domination to control situations so that they don’t lose they’re already shaky footing.
Understand that men and women use domination tactics for various reasons. Leaders use them in order to consistently show what they expect among their staff. But true leaders know how to delegate and assign others to complete tasks without demeaning them or showing lack of gratitude. In friendships and relationships, there is a fine line. Boundaries should be established when necessary.
Domination Behaviors
*Withholding information until an opportune time.
*Verbal fast talk to confuse or frustrate someone.
*Requesting information and resources from someone for the heck of it – not because you need it.
*Talking over someone so as to dominate the conversation.
*Appearing to need help, but when help comes, exhibiting controlling, nit picky and nasty behavior.
*Using emotional black mail or guilt tactics to get what you want.
*Using physical height and weight to intimidate.
*Treating someone like the “hired help“, a “mule” or concierge.
Now some people enjoy being dominated in love relationships, that’s a different story where one or both people consent to have this type of relationship because it gives pleasure or relieves some kind of stress. Whatever. But when it is friend to friend or associate to associate, it become a sticky situation.
Women use these tactics on each other due to fear and insecurity. Sometimes a woman will exhibit domination tactics on another woman for fear that the woman will outshine her in some way and to help herself get over some kind of disappointment. She also does it to appear more on top of things, to one up the person or as a form of “hazing” because they think they’re still in college. It can get ridiculous when you’re dealing with people who are bored, have no boundaries, never learned how to control their emotional impulses and have secret anxieties and inner fears.
The bottom line is, when you notice these kinds of behaviors it’s best to use strategies to diffuse the situation. We’ve seen enough reality TV characters who enjoy domination as a form of abusing others. If any of your friends reveal these traits, you probably should leave them alone because they have severe emotional problems. These people mistake playing childish emotional games with leadership qualities. They could not consistently take these behaviors into an esteemed women’s club, Fortune 500 boardrooms or to leaders in most industries who are highly successful and expect to maintain and raise their stature. They would be branded crazy, unstable and asked to leave. That’s exactly how you have to treat people who do not understand the difference between collaboration and domination. Show them you don’t need them at all.
Written By DuEwa Frazier
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