(ThyBlackMan.com) Like many fathers, my job requires me to travel a lot for work. I’m away from home more than I would like to be, but at the same time, my family knows the purpose behind what I do, and they support me.
Still, I have to accept the fact that as a road warrior dad, if I’m not careful my absence can add to today’s crisis of fatherlessness.
For all of you guys who love your kids but can’t be there as much as you would like, let me offer three thoughts that have helped me stay connected 
at home. These don’t provide an exhaustive picture, but I hope they will be helpful. And some of these ideas will also apply to men who are separated from their children by a military deployment or divorce.
– Have a heart-to-heart talk with your family members. Is your absence creating deficits in your relationships? You might be ignoring some warning signs or losing touch with your wife and children more than you realize. Sometimes I’ll ask my bride and my son for an honest answer about whether I’m gone too much. I recommend that you do the same, because that feedback will also help you keep your priorities straight when you are with them. Your time and attention will be more focused.
Also, be open to the possibility that changes may be necessary. If your family relationships are suffering or even dangerously at risk, it’s worth checking into a different position at your company or even changing jobs. That might seem like an extreme option, but it’s much easier than a divorce, if you’re married, or seeing your children go through major struggles.
– Find ways to stay in touch while you’re apart. Invest some extra effort and expense, whether that means texting or setting up video calls or whatever. Schedule regular times for phone calls, so everyone is available and expects your call. Be creative and find new ways to connect.
– Conduct yourself with integrity no matter where you are. This might seem totally unrelated to the challenge of being away from your family, but it’s all connected. Doing what’s right in your work, having high character, and treating people with dignity makes you a better man, which makes you a better husband and father. Your character in that role will spill over to your kids. Even when you aren’t with your children or you have legal challenges with their mom, do the right thing and keep your poise. You will bless your kids by maintaining a high reputation and a virtuous life.
ACTION POINTS
- If at all possible, shorten your work trip. Can you squeeze in a late meeting and then fly home late instead of waiting another day?
- Before a business trip, be sensitive to your wife’s feelings and find ways to lighten her load in some way. Also, do a few special one-on-one things with each of your kids. Build up a reservoir of time so your absence isn’t quite as difficult.
- Tell your children about why you’re leaving — what you hope to accomplish and the bigger-picture benefits it will bring to clients, consumers, or families.
- Leave your family members small gifts or notes of encouragement that they’ll find when you’re gone.
- Put some planning into your re-entry back home. The first few minutes after you walk in the house can make a big difference. (And save discipline issues and bills until later.)
Written By Carey Casey