(ThyBlackMan.com) In a 4×100 relay race the goal is to win, but to achieve this you must first cross the finish line. In a race it is assumed that the team with the fastest sprinters will win, when the reality is oftentimes it is the team with the most effective communication that wins.
One of the most critical components of a relay race is the baton – because it serves as the source of communication between each sprinter.
In a race there stands tall three elements that absolutely “MUST” occur if the 
‘team” is to run a winnable race. It’s not ironic that the same three elements are a must for effective communication.
1.Trust – the second, third and fourth sprinters must trust that the baton (communication) will be properly placed in their hand by the preceding sprinter so that they can “receive it,” and continue running void disruption. Remember the receiving sprinter “peeps back briefly,” but their focus is on “what’s ahead,” not what’s behind him. They are trusting that you will place the baton in their hand.
When communicating with your spouse you must properly place the communication in the spirit of your spouse so that they can receive it and continue moving within the conversation without disruption. And remember, your purpose for communicating is to reach the goal ahead, so be mindful not to have a spirit whose focus is looking back.
2.Timing – the baton has to be placed in the preceding sprinter’s hand at the right time. If not, the baton is dropped or fumbled and the race becomes a “SURE” defeat.
Initiating a conversation having not given thought to if this is a good time to talk is selfish – a classic case of dropping the baton. Trying to host a conversation under those conditions is a decision that will least likely benefit your marriage.
Collectively choose and agree upon a time to discuss the desired issue [just one issue] and honor that commitment. And again, remember the goal is ahead of you – not behind you.
3.In Tune – the sprinter passing the baton and the sprinter receiving it must be so in tune that the transfer of the baton is “Seamless;” they are on “One Accord.”
The purpose of communication with your spouse is to be in tune with one another – to be in “oneness.” Neither spouse should be seeking an individual victory because remember, y’all are a team. “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.…”
In closing remember; the fastest team [view video: USA was the superior team, but lost by an inch] doesn’t always win. Oftentimes it is the team who is best at achieving trust, timing and being in tune.
The why in all of this is, “We” [husband and wife] are trying to win!
Staff Writer; Reginald Williams
For more articles on Relationships visit Rule Your Wife and for Marriage Counseling; Marriage Nectar.